I really loved this. The structure, the words used, and the rhyming. This is just the thing that i'm interested in, so of course i loved it. I could really feel the darkness, but at the same time their was an eerie kind of beauty. The pain seemed to reach out to me and draw me in but at the same time i wanted to stay at a distance simply because the thought of what would happen if I were to take a closer look. I do think that punctuation could be improved. You forgot to put it in in some places and personally i think that in places exclamation marks would be appropriate. This is a great piece. Loved it.
Points: 620
Reviews: 11
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