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125,009 Literary Works • 672,837 Reviews
Hey TakeThatYouFiend.
I agree with Luvzi and LittleSister about it being hard to review this piece because it's not all your work but I'm going to try because we need to clear out the green room. Firstly, it sounds like a good song and I might check it out after. I had a quick look at the original to compare your piece with it. I am confused as why you would change it from "My best friend" to "My bestest friend". It's not a word unless you are a stubborn 5 year old (like my sister) but I mean this in no offense to you. I commend many of your other word choices though and I especially like your final paragraph. I think you've done a good job and it's not something I would try so well done.
Good job. Keep writing.
*eye twitches*
It was Windatu (I spelled that wrong) but that's a German hero, and there was battle scream instead of the Tardis effect.
It was Windatu (I spelled that wrong) but that's a German hero, and there was battle scream instead of the Tardis effect.
It was Windatu (I spelled that wrong) but that's a German hero, and there was battle scream instead of the Tardis effect.
I'm here! I agree with Luvzi, that it's hard to review, but I do have some nitpicks on word choices. I would like to point out that "bestest" isn't a word. I'm not sure if you meant to make it that way so that it would be the same amount of syllables as in the German version, but it really bugs me. It sounds like a 5 year old (or me on candy) when the word "bestest" is used. If syllable count really does count that much, you can keep "bestest" in your vocabulary, but I suggest using the word "best" if it doesn't matter... or is that too mainstream for you? I also think that "shall" is too old-timey, and maybe you could use a modern alternative. That's my two cents, and I don't think I could help anymore. Bye-bye!
Good translation, quite difficult to review though as it's not your own work.
I liked the song though.
Do you plan to write anything original or are you hoping to be a translator?
Good luck with your future endeavours!
If you look at the side, I've written loads of original stuff: this is my first translation. I've changed quite a bit though: the first and third lines of every verse used to all be the same, repeated 6 times, and the third character used to be a German hero that I hadn'thheard of before. So I changed that and wrote new likes for it, and had different things to rhyme.