Young Writers Society

Maverick, how can I say this? This was awesome. I'm kinda not used to saying that, but whatevs. This poem, however short and mocked it may be, is full of meaning and amazingness. I can't even start to explain how beautiful it is. Feel proud of yourself, Maverick, I don't say that anymore. Ever.

-wisegirl22

What a consternating title for a poem about a hawk which finds a frog attractive.

I approve. (Especially so if I just got that wrong, in which case, you are a master of diversion.)

I'm at a complete loss at the moment, so I'm going to do what fortis did, and go through the lines, but I'll only do the first three (you'll know why in a minute)

"His humble pond cannot compare"

-Alright, decent open. I will agree that 'humble' was a good choice when paired with 'pond', though this does also open the door to early questioning. For me, instead of getting a flower, I get a gardener, who's comparing his garden to either a friend's, neighbor's, whoever, to his own. I know, sounds dumb, but all people will come to their own conclusions.

"to my aerial realm,"

Luckily, I do know the word 'aerial', but I do see also where fortis was coming from. I personally would've phrased it like "to my aerial realm beyond Earth's domain,"
This does imply that the realm is not on earth, while also tying in Earth so that the first line doesn't sound odd.

"but when his lilylike frame"

I just think lanky, I don't know, it's just the first image that popped into my mind when I read the line. Now, doing research, I did find many pictures of water lilies, and as I looked over them, I began to make my own speculations on what the line meant. The first initial idea was that you were detailing that "he" was frail, or shall I say, "delicate" like a water lily, because water lilies are notorious for being hard to maintain and keep alive. So, "he" then becomes something new, and is now transcended from kinda vague to something more than what we originally perceived.
(now going into my own explanation)
Now, instead, 'he' could be a few things;
1. a symbol of frailty. Basically, 'he' takes on the frailty that one may see in life. Whether it be the frailty of home, frailty of society, frailty of self, 'he' is a reflection that the speaker may see these truths through.
2. a child. Children are delicate in the sense that they are at the most impressionable stage of life, and whatever they come to know sets their look on the world, and themselves. "he", maybe a young boy, may be a reflection of possibly the speaker's younger self, their own child, or just an embodiment of youth that speaker sees, and reflects on the delicate nature of youth.
3. a symbol of innocence. This is the one I really did pick, because it kinda does wrap the other two into it. Innocence is something that is very delicate, and quite frail. Innocence normally departs as we grow older and leave our youth, and become adults. So, for a lily, a flower, to embody innocence, makes a lot of sense. Flowers are innocent, so to personify innocence into one, especially a lily (religious reasons), creates a scenario where the speaker may be reflecting on the innocence that was lost to them. When, yes, they weren't aware of the real world around them, and didn't truly understand life's meaning, they were understanding of the truth and peace, and knew nothing of the horror that was reality. So, even though they didn't possess the knowledge they've gained as they've grown, there's a silver lining in the fact that when they did possess innocence, there was no such thing as real evil.

Remember, I got all that from ONE LINE

So, in short, this is a great poem with a lot of depth, at least that's what I saw. You definitely need to continue to write poetry like this, I'm a fan.
Keep going!
~Maddie

Hello!
This was a beautiful and beautifully simple poem. The last line gave me shivers.

Since this is short, I'll take it line by line.

His humble pond cannot compare

to my aerial realm,

but when his lilylike frame

reflects more clearly in my azure eyes