Young Writers Society

Heyaa TonelessBard!!

This is Eros here to write a sort of review for this short and sweet poem!!

Since this a short poem, I am not sure if my comment would count as a 'review' or just just get restricted to a 'comment'.

So, let us begin the review by commenting on the title. The title should be catchy, attractive, and captivating. I am very happy to say that your title has fulfilled all the above criterias of a good title.

The next thing which comes is the theme and the basic idea of the poem. I liked the theme. It was unique and simple. Though the theme was simple, you have expressed this differently. This is what I liked about your style. Expressing simple things in a BIG BANGY way.

Then, there is a criteria of choice of set of the words. But since your poem is short and sweet, there is no question of choice of words. It doesn't apply here---no matter.

The next thing is presentation. I liked your presentation.

Then, the next question is how you express things. You have expressed the thoughts very very nicely.

Now, the next part of the review is, my opinions about the poem; or what are the things which I liked the most. These are:

1) I liked how the poem flowed.
2) I e-specially want to appreciate your talent of expressing big things in a very few words.
It is something, very rarely found in people.
3) I like the basic idea which forms the basis of the poem.

As far as I can see, there is no flaw as such in this piece.

It was written very beautifully.

GREAT work.

Now, I would like to end up my review by saying:
Keep writing...
Never cease...
Because we all love to keep reading such AWESOME works.
Have a great day/ night!!

Wow, so little words! I'm writing one about time travel too, except it's a novel. One correction:

I don't think this is clear enough. Why is the mirror gone? I don't think anybody understands...

I will definitely read more of yours!

Honestly, I don't see why people like this kind of stuff. To me it just seems overly basic and easy. Then it goes and gets loads of likes and reviews on YWS because, if we're being honest, it's very easy to review and therefore to use to get our points up, and I think maybe as a writer you know that.

Anyway, even for what it is, being brutally honest I really don't like this. It feels like you're trying to intrigue me, but you're failing, I am not intrigued, partially because of the way the mainstream perceives time as being something you can travel through in a different way than you travel through space as a dimension (of course the method of travel through each dimension is different, but the idea is the same). It's simply impossible to meet yourself in the future (and even more so in the past), because of energy. If you "travel through time" into the (by essentially waiting in a machine where time travels slower than outside) then you cannot meet yourself, because you were in the machine. It's simple, c'mon.

But besides the technicalities, all I see is there an "there is no mirror" cliché, and a contradiction in that you originally stated that you saw your reflection in a mirror. Also, "my own reflection" is obvious, it could be shortened to "my reflection."

All that covered, I am not attacking you as a writer, just this style of piece and this particular one.

Also, I will add that I did like the idea that you were describing yourself blinking, which would be impossible were your eyes not open. That was quite interesting, but does not detract from my disdain for this sort of piece.

I'm sure you are capable of great things.

Love Arc

Spot on, my favorite kind of literature(the minimalist style).

I love how you went with this minimalist style. The flow, in my opinion, was great. It really gave emphasize on the last word. Beside that I also liked this poem because it made me think (this poem isn't straightforward and I like stuff that are left in riddles). I'm guessing that because the title is time travel, this someone here is trying to look back to the past but there's no past to look back to. Or I might be wrong.

But, although I like this there're some things that bother me. The concept is good but how you executed it was a bit lacking. I think it's the choice of some words or maybe, just maybe, I think I have read something like this somewhere else (I'm not accusing you here). imo, Maybe if you lose the spacing it could fix things. I agree with kayfornight and GreenTulip about the combination of the last two lines if there weren't spacing between lines. But if you stay with the long spaces style then I'll prefer this to the suggestion before.

Overall, I enjoyed this. Keep up the good work and I hope this helps.

Hello, Kayfortnight here to review your poem!

I like the simplicity of this poem in some ways. Take the title with the poem and you have a story, or at least the beginnings of one. Someone meets their future/past self due to time travel. Classic science fiction trope, although it's also a classic science fiction cliche, depending on whether you bring a new take to it.

But in another way, the simplicity of the review is frankly aggravating. I know this isn't my style of poetry, which might be part of why it annoys me, but the poem really doesn't have much to it. I cannot paint a picture in my head from this poem. This poem does not call up a emotion. This poem does tell a story, but only the barest fragment of one. It feels incomplete.

I also don't really like the flow of this poem. Half of your lines feel weak. Ending a line with the word "that" feels like edging a cliff in tissue paper. It's not going to support anything or even slow anything down. If you end with an adjective or noun, it will give more oomph. And honestly, I agree with GreenTulip on the last two lines. I think they sound better combined than apart. I think the third line is weak on its own, but together they're much stronger.

But it does have the foundations of a wonderful piece if you would just work on it some. Kayfortnight out

Hello, Tulip here to review your work. I saw time travel as the title and the first ting that came to mind was Doctor Who./ *fangirls and then apologizes*.

This poem is good, though the last two lines could be piut together. I do not know if you did the formatting like this for a reason but it is very distracting. The large spaces between your lineds makes it harder for me to read as Ipit bothers my eyes. Though it isn't necessarily bad.

Like I was saying about the last two lines. They can be combined into one. You can have it go from this:

here is no



mirror

There is no mirror