The Scarlet River
The scarlet river flows in its bed,
Pumping from the scarlet ocean.
It gives the world life.
Without it, we would be nothing.
Most of the time, it flows peacefully,
Surging through its bed on to the next branch.
But sometimes, it overflows
And leaks onto the earth.
You can put up
All the barriers you want,
But the heaviest rain will still break them.
The flooding of the red water
May stain and will scar
The precious earth.
It can destroy families and homes.
But stains can be cleaned,
And scars will fade.
Homes can be rebuilt
And families can mend.
But the memories will forever remain.
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137,774 Literary Works • 672,064 Reviews
That was really good and it touches hearts. It was very beautiful and poetic.
okay so this was one of teh best poems ever.
Sorry that this is kind of a horrible review but I am in a hurry.
Okay i really didnt see any mistakes, and it was pretty well writen.
I got to go so keep up the good writing
Love,
Dogsrule5
When I'm reading this, I know it's about a volcano eruption, and because of that, it makes me think of the Pompeii disaster. The last line, "But the memories will forever remain," really hit me when it comes to this topic. Even though people are more prepared for stuff like this, there is no way to prevent a volcano eruption. It's like every other natural disaster. It just comes, and there's no way to stop it. They call it an act of God for a reason. I love the way you described this in a way that keeps the poetic feel, but no one is confused on what the poem is talking about. That's the key when it comes to poetry. It's kind of like a riddle except everything who reads in between the lines can understand.
Hello!
only reinforced that idea.So, when I read' Scarlet River,' it immediately had a menstrual connotation that was almost inescapable throughout the entire work. Lines like
Is this your intent?
Structure: I believe the current choppiness of the poem's structure detracts from giving it a reading flow. For example
My mind stumbles from line one to line two, but it would read better if those two were connected. Just a suggestion.
Perhaps you want to consider your word choice; I know rivers branch; they also meander, twist and turn, or flow into tributaries.
I see that at this point, you bring us (the reader) into the scenario. Why? I mean, 'you' could be easily substituted for 'one', with the same effect but you chose to use 'You'.
I feel like there are two stories being told here: the river, and the river as a force for destabilization/change. Both are definitely worth exploring.
If this story is about the river, then give more attention to it. Describe the river more, it's flow and ebb, how it moves...
If the story is about the river as a force, then explore that. Focus on the dynamics between the river as an agent of creation and destruction, and the consequences that you touch upon here.
There is so much more you can do with this piece.
Thank you!
thank you for the review! constructive criticism is always the best! I'm wondering if it would help the reader understand the poem if they knew what it was about?
This is a nice poem. The story is very plain and easy to understand. My personal favorite part is 'May stain and will scar
The precious earth.'
It's true and nice. A little dark, but that's how poems are sometimes. It also portrays how the physical can be reborn anew. But memories, emotions, and pain will always be etched into our souls. I like the idea, nature flows free, but whenever humans try to contain it, it retaliates and strikes back ten-fold.
Good poem, I liked it, thanks for writing it and always keep on writing!!
7.8/10