Fiery Salutations
I am surprised that there are so few lyrics on YWS! Yours are literally one of the few, so I decided to review it.
I wake up, I look around my room
I sit down and think about the mistakes
That I made the other day.
I understand that these three lines would be too long were they to be added together, but because they flow into each other so much, it is quite difficult to determine how they would sound. You have to remember, these are lyrics - therefore it is meant to be sung. Obviously you know this, but if we are lost and cannot figure out how it is supposed to sound, how can we possibly review them?
My past keeps on bringing back
The regrets and the things
That I wish would just erase.
The same things which I had mentioned during my previous quote apply here as well. Perhaps if you indicated how it is to be sung and mentioned it in brackets, italics, anything like that, then we could better understand the song.
Pre - Chorus:
But time continues to go
No matter the regrets that you hold
So I'm not going let them stop me
From enjoying life how it's meant to be
I like that you have an idea of a "Pre-chorus", but as far as I know, the chorus never changes, but the pre-chorus does (only near the climax, but you understand what I mean). Also, the dinamics would be really important here, but they are absent, so the feeling that would have been communicated is absent as well. It could, for example, begin slowly and softly, but then accelerate and swell into a crescendo. At least, that is what I am imagining, but what you had intended could differ completely.
Living my life like it's the only one(2x)
I like your chorus, and I definitely think it must be very cheerful, but what does that times two mean? Is only the last line repeated, or should the entire chorus be repeated?
Your second verse is nice as well, but what really stands out for me is your bridge. The words are excellent and I can hear them already (I might not hear them correctly but anyway...), though I do not understand why you called it a "bridge" if there is nothing that follows it. Is the chorus repeated, is there another verse... what comes next?
In conclusion, I think the lyrics are great, but they cannot be fully enjoyed if you do not indicate what the dynamics are. Your lyrics have great potential, but you need to do something about those major issues.
by Team Rocket.
Points: 17344
Reviews: 293
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