Good Morning/Afternoon/Evening/Night(whichever one it is in your part of the world),
Hi! I'm here to leave a quick review!!
First Impression: Well, this was a pretty neat start here...seems to be setting the scene for something down the line...and it sounds like a pretty interesting something from what's in here at the moment.
Anyway let's get right to it,
The arch-mage pointed his staff towards the enemies that were coming for him. A blue glow came out from the tip of the dangerous weapon, blasting the enemies with a powerful source of magic. The enemies were slain, and the mage has conquered his battle once again.
Okay...that was a very rushed sounding battle there...I just feel like that's a whole lot of potential for some cool descriptions with magic powers totally lost there cause of the way that little battle is constructed. The descriptions just seem generic there and just doesn't display any sort of thing that makes this world stand out here with magic. Its a little harsh of me here, but ahh, there's just soo much potential for a cool opening with a scene like that and this seems like a waste of magic here.
“Damn… there’s been so many Voltros lately.” The arch-mage finally spoke.
“Well, you took care of them well, Heswir.” Someone was poking out the side. He seemed like an archer of some sorts, considering the fact he was carrying a bow and arrows on his back.
Okayy...that's a little bit of a weird introduction, cause the narrator seems to know very well who's an arch mage but can't identify and archer but has to say, its some sort of archer...despite the fact that this person just carries a regular bow and arrow..and therefore would just be an archer. Its a weird little inconsistency there.
“More are probably coming, Griss. If me and you use combos, we might gain even more E.X.P.” Heswir stared at Griss, placing his staff next to him, standing straight on the ground.
“Well, we need more E.X.P if we are able to fight the next boss. Your level is high enough, but I think you should level up more.”
Okay...I have a feeling this is some sort of video game universe I suppose...cause I don't see anything way where xp is going to actually come into a genuine fight scenario not to mention levels and bosses. It definitely does make things quite interesting here.
A boy, who is at the age of 16, was sitting on his desktop, having headphones in while holding a controller.
“I think we need a full clan to defeat the boss though.” He spoke softly into the microphone that was attached to the headphones.
Well, that makes the last few sentences there suddenly make much more sense...it appears that was simply some form of game...interesting choice there to start the story out with the sense that its some form of fantasy situation before just ending with it as a game. Certainly is an interesting choice there...makes you wonder.
“Hon! It’s time for dinner!” A woman yelled from a different room.
Well, it appears game time is over the moment though...judging by the sound of that one right there...hopefully we don't see any sort of argument cause of that here.
“Hold on, ma! I’m playing my game! Okay… I have to go now, Griss. Try to find any players and ask them to join our party.” The boy logged off from his desktop as he took his headphones off. As he got up from his chair, he picked up a small box that was lying on top of his bed. The words read Xenoria Legends at the front of the box.
He smiled to himself, staring at the box. “I am glad I got this game.”
Oooh...well if that last line wasn't hinting at this game potentially ending up doing something horrible....at any rate, its very interesting to see how the title is the same as the name of the game...and it appears there's not going to be any conflict with the mother for the moment, which is a good healthy relationship for this family here.
Aaaaand that's it for this one.
Overall: Overall, seems like an interesting tale start here...seems like the kind of story that I would potentially read here...at any rate, it does manage to get your attention. Anyway that's all I gotta say for now.
As always remember to take what you think was helpful and forget the rest.
Stay Safe
Harry
Points: 250888
Reviews: 4074
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