I wish to speak, but my hands are tied.
My body remains still.
There's nothing for me to say.
Unless it's to say I tried.
I wish to act, but my mouth is shut.
My thoughts remain jumbled.
There's nothing I can do.
I am frozen, and nothing but.
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137,761 Literary Works • 672,064 Reviews
Hi there,
I definitely like this poem i feel like you captivate the readers with the first line
"I wish to speak, but my hands are tied."
It gets you thinking "ohh what is this about". i like how you took a nice simple and clean approach to this instead of making the mistake of using to much wording. Over all great poem!
~~Karina
Hello, fruit4you here! Ok, so, I really like the sweet and simple style of your poem. Morbid poems aren't really my thing, but besides my taste in poetry I really enjoyed it.
I really like your line "I wish to speak, but my hands are tied." It is a very tasteful line, and forces one to think upon it.
I also liked the line "I wish to act, but my mouth is shut." It also is a very interesting line. It is very intriguing. I hope you well with everything you will write!!!
Have fun writing, and good luck,
fruit4you
I am blown away by this! The imagery you offer is just amazing. You give such detail and i'm actually seeing your words happen in my mind. I can't even find mistakes because it's too perfect. It is short, but hey, at least you can write poems. Many people cannot. I absolutely adore the lines; "My body remains still." and "I wish to act, but my mouth is shut." Amazing, darling. Keep putting pen to paper, my friend. You'll go far i can promise you.
Heyo Rascal! Strange here and I have a review for you!
This might seem a little bit rusty, but I'm trying my best. I did like how this poem says a lot and still manages to be blunt. The imagery is strong, and it clears up a lot that you said it was about Stage Fright. You kept it short, sadly, but there isn't much you can expand on. It's a subtle matter, really. There is so much you can say about it, but if you do say all that you can, it would be very formal and uninteresting. What helps this case is the words you use to describe the fright, as that is helpful of me saying that. But, in particular
One of the only uses of a metaphor in this poem, sadly, it's generic. I often see the whole thoughts are jumbled type of thing when I see poems of this subject. You can't help that, as if I wrote a poem like this I would use that.
Being the smart alec I am, you have deaf people in the audience? But seriously, I liked this, though it is slightly overused. I give you props for the well executed imagery, simpleness, and emotion through such a little poem.
Overall, good job.
Strange gives you...
7.8/10
Good job,
Keep writing,
Stay groovy, my friend.
*Margo enters stage*
Margo: Uh, hello everyone...I, uh, have a review for Rascal. Wow, there are so many of you on this website! First of all, I would like to commend Rascal on a unique poem topic. It's not everyday you read a poem about stage fright. *laugh nervously* Second, I would like to thank Rascal for being consistent with the ryming scheme. Rascal rymed every fourth line. Me thinks this scheme is slightly unusual, but, still, it was consistent. I *clears throat* now would like to get on with some things Rascal could work on to improve this poem. Personally, I think it would be excellent if Rascal could turn this poem into two limmericks. That is, a poem where the first and last line ryme and the two lines in between ryme. Another thing Rascal could do is increase flow. For me, the last line didn't really flow right with the rest of the poem. Consider something like this: "There's nothing I can do,
But hold my wrenching gut."
I, uh, hope my staged review helps Rascal. That is all I have to say. *sighs in relief* Now get me off this stage before I wiz my denims!
The End