Young Writers Society

Hai Fiend! Laure here as requested, now I haven't reviewed for a good few days so my reviewing is a tag rusty. As you know, I'm not Hannah so my poetic reviews aren't that great but I shall try my best!

First off, I would like to comment on the content of this haiku. I'm generally a person who opposes people writing suicide poems because come on, is just so depressing. But because you're trying out a new genre, I shall forgive you for it. There isn't much that I want to say that hasn't been said already, your poem overall seems to be pretty ambiguous but the intention is clear. I like your use of language throughout the poem, as it creates a mood that compliments the ambiguity of the poem.

This poem on the whole, I feel like could be expanded a lot more to me. The first stanza, seems to play on the whole idea of imagery and metaphors. Which is great, but is too vague to convey any true meaning. The central message of that seems to be, that ignorance is bliss. Great, what's next?

The second stanza, is even more vague than the first one. I know it plays on the idea of death and whether if is just nothing or a type of release or something along those lines. But once again, I think is too vague to be anything but a few ideas.

Overall, I like it but I see no true meaning to this as if yet. But it packs potential, so I'd love to read this if you ever expand it. And of course, your language is lovely.

-Laure

I'll try to make a review for this poem (or at least what I call a review). First off, I like the style, since, let's be honest, no one writes haikus anymore (or at least it seems that way). All though I'm not the biggest fan of the style in English (it works better in Asian languages, with only one syllable per character), you were able to make it work, and quite well at that. I like how you compare the temptation of suicide as a way to escape pain to a dove in the mind. I also enjoy the lines ''Nothing is release,/Release from reality?/Nothing is nothing.'' One other thing that makes this poem unique is the fact that at the end, the narrator chooses against suicide. In most poems of this genre, the author ultimately decides to end his or her own life, but the fact that you let the narrator survive was quite refreshing. I don't think that it was necessary to make the second and last lines in the last four lines rhyme. I also enjoy the author's note at the end, as that helps clarify would is happening, as the poem isn't exactly very clear the first reading. One last thing, I like how it's punctuated, as every time I review a poem without punctuation, that's always one of my complaints.

Wow. This is really brilliant! I think I'll do this by going over every line rather commenting on it as a whole straight away

Rose scented Death tempts,

It plays in the mind, a dove.

To know naught is bliss.

Nothing is release,

Release from reality?

Nothing is nothing.

And that's all it'll ever be.