Young Writers Society

Home » Literary works » Novel / Chapter » Action / Adventure


Pokemon Ultimate Evolution Season 2: Episode 15, Family Over Love

by dark

"She looks so peaceful..." Pan sighed. "She must be really happy."

"Yeah, she it. Cristina needed some reassuring about some things today, and now she's feeling better." I shrugged. "I can't help but wonder how she could fall asleep so quickly. She's out cold."

"Don't worry about it. Kids always tired themselves out." Pan reassured me. "You don't need to rest as long as the average Pokemon, right? This is all a shock to you because you weren't like this when you were little."

"I guess so. Let's leave her alone so we don't bother her."

"Right behind you Ryan." Pan answered.


Flannery reluctantly stepped outside wearing her red violet leggings, a black t-shirt with a large heart on it with a blue jacket over it.

"Whoa..." Jake gasped.

"What? Something wrong?" Flannery asked with a concerned look.

"It's just... I haven't seen you in such a long time... You've really grown up well, Nee-Nee. I bet the guys here are all over you."

Flannery couldn't help but blush. "Your timing is still awful, Jakey."

"Well, I wouldn't be me without that, now would I?" Jake laughed and remembered why he needed her. He closed his eyes and attempted to transform into his Pokemon form. "It's been a while since I've done this. I hope I don't screw up. Dammit, I should have listened when Pan told me to practice..."

Jake glowed with a purple light as if he were evolving. His eyes shifted to their natural red color. He couldn't help but let out a long screech as his suppressed power surged through him. Jake finally calmed down and flapped his wings to stretch. "Ah, much better!"

"Always with the theatrics, Jakey." Flannery smiled. "At least you're still big enough to ride."

"One day you have to let me see what species you are." Jake cawed in a childish voice. "It's no fair that you get to see mine. You do know what you are, righ?"

"Yup, but for now it's a secret!" Jake let one of his wings fall so Flannery could walk up to his back.

"Please, don't squeeze my feathers too tight." Jake pleaded. "When you were smaller you would always tear out a few tufts."

"I remember." Flannery giggled. She grabbed two handfuls of his feathers and purposely squeezed them. "Maybe you should get a saddle and some reins then."

"Don't even think about it, Nee-Nee. I've not one of them ferry birds that Pokemon Rangers use!"

"Okay, okay, settle down." Flannery loosened her grip. "Hey, what if someone sees us?"

"Nonsense, no one can tell a Honchkrow against this dark sky."


"The night is going to last about 18 hours."

"How do you know?" Pan asked.

"Well, the past few day night cycles have been short." I told her. "The hours of the past few days haven't been longer than 20 to 30 minutes. There's a pattern, you know."

"Wow, I've always thought that is was entirely random." Pan frowned. "I'm way more in the dark about this world than I thought."

"Don't worry, lots of people are. And yes, it is entirely random, but It can be accurately predicted to some extent." I sat up from the bed, put on my jacket and headed out.

"Where are you going?" Pan asked.

"I said I would get you your things from your apartment didn't I?" I grinned.

"Right now? Well, thank you, Ryan." Pan smiled.

"Please, don't worry about it." I nodded. "I would just use my speed and do it in a few seconds, I want to enjoy the night. I'll be back in a few hours." I turned and walked out the door.

I stretched and began my walk. I looked up and saw a large black figure in the sky, and as if it didn't want to be seen, it flew above the clouds in the night sky. I shook my head and continued walking.

Huh, that's a pretty big Honchkrow. Must be a new moon...


Jake landed on a block away from my house as soon as I was far away.

"Here we are!" He cawed. "Nee-Nee, you ready?"

"I guess so.." Flanery pouted. "How long is this going to take?"

"Just a few minutes I promise. I would do this myself, but you're a lot quieter than me." Jake answered. "Plus we can gather more information that way."

Flannery slid down his wings, off of the short building and landed on the sidewalk without a sound. "It's amazing how much of a natural she is." Jake gawed. "It still confuses me why mom abandoned her. Her skills make up for all of her flaws..." Jake shook his head and focused. He returned back to his humanoid form, straightened out his jacket and followed.

They quietly sidled up to the house, Jake taking the left and Flannery taking the right. Flannery rose from her lower position to look into an open window. Before she could see anything, Pan came over to close it. Flannery ducked before she could be spotted. She waited for a minute before peering through the glass. Pan was sitting on an armchair with a laptop resting on her crossed legs.

Flannery knelt down and pressed her ears up against the wall under the window and listened. With her advanced hearing, she could hear every sound bouncing off the walls of the house. She heard nothing but, breathing and the tapping of computer keys. After about twenty minutes, she made her way back to the front of the building Jake landed on. He was waiting there for her.

"Hey, Nee-Nee! See anything noteworthy?" Jake asked. "All I saw was a couple of kids sleeping.

"Oh, well I only saw this girl on a laptop. She looked about sixteen, dark red hair and dark red eyes." Flannery explained.

"Yup, that's her. Ah well, maybe she's just baby sitting." Jake sighed. "And here I thought I'd get to see something sneaky or scandalous tonight. Ah well, your stalking skills seem to be great though, we should do this again sometime."

"Please, Jakey, don't call it that. If you're going to drag me into these things, at least call them stakeouts or informational watches." Flannery asked. "I don't really know why, but stalking sounds nasty to me."

"It's okay, Nee-Nee. I won't ask you to do this for me again." Jake laughed and quickly transformed. "Ah it feels better now. C'mon, so I can get you home."

Note: You are not logged in, but you can still leave a comment or review. Before it shows up, a moderator will need to approve your comment (this is only a safeguard against spambots). Leave your email if you would like to be notified when your message is approved.

Is this a review?



User avatar
240 Reviews

Points: 279
Reviews: 240

Sun Jun 29, 2014 7:13 pm
AdmiralKat wrote a review...

Hello! KatyaElefant here for another review! Happy Review Day! OH MY GOSH! POKEMON!


"It's amazing how much of a natural she is." Jake gawed

Is gawed, an actual word? I looked it up and they said that it meant Oh My God, in a different way, so I don't know. Did you mean to use a different word here?

"Yup, that's her. Ah well, maybe she's just baby sitting."

Baby and sitting need to to be connected to become babysitting.

"Please, Jakey, don't call it that. If you're going to drag me into theses things, at least call them stakeouts or informational watches." Flannery asked.


Now that I am done with my nitpicks, let's see what is good about your piece. You have great organization with the paragraphs. I just dropped into this chapter(as all the rest of the reviews that I have done) so I don't really understand what is happening. I can only talk about the grammar and such. Your grammar is really good, just a typo, here and there. I really like the names, they seem Pokemonish XD. 0_0 I just realized something, can the people turn into Pokemon? I can see that Jake transformed! You must explain! XD Anyways, I think this would be a great story if I understood it. Keep Writing! :D

dark says...

Most people in this world can transform into a their image of the species of they are and some can release them from their bodies, almost like how trainers end out Pokemon.

AdmiralKat says...

That sounds really cool! :D

User avatar
1315 Reviews

Points: 23536
Reviews: 1315

Tue Jun 24, 2014 2:40 pm
Hannah wrote a review...

Haha, I remember when you promised us a peaceful moment and then suddenly everything got dramatic again. It seems that these past two chapters have been more peaceful and quiet than what you were planning before.

I mean, I do feel the sense that something bad could happen any second. For a moment I thought that Pan had been planning something with Jake and had let him know when Ryan left so they could get in the house together to do something terrible, but it just turns out that Jake's spying on her.

One thing that's bothering me is that I can't remember who Flannery is! I wonder if you made her introduction strong enough when you introduced her to us earlier in the book. You're also usually really great at showing the relationships between characters even when they've already been established -- like you keep showing us Ryan and Cristina are brother and sister even though anyone who's read from the beginning would already know that, right? I wonder if you could do the same with Flannery, Jake, and Pan just to make sure we're clear on their relationships!

I also want to actually see Pan and Cristina and Jason all get introduced to one another. She arrived at the house and seems like she's been there for some period of time, but we haven't actually seen her interact with anyone from her new family except Ryan. Or is my sense of time off and I just feel like it's been a lot longer since she got to the house than it has been. I feel like since they were talking about the moon together that they'd watched the moon together for a couple of days already or something like that -- does this scene actually happen directly after the previous chapter? Help us out with some more time hints!

These are all my thoughts for now. (: Hope to see more soon~

dark says...

Flannery is a girl Jason met shortly after moving to Fearahu and they currently have a boyfriend girlfriend thing going on. I hope I made Flannery's debut strong enough... And I get what you mean regarding time. Because the world is in a part of space far from the milky way, time works differently there. It fluctuates from time to time making it seem somewhat random. Sorry if I confused you.

When people are free to do as they please, they usually imitate each other.
— Eric Hoffer