Elephant baby

For a three year old, it's really good! It rhymes AND makes sense, like who you get taller when you step on the elephant and can reach the ceiling.

What is your mother language? Just curious, cos' I don't understand what it is from the words given below.
If you could write minor poetry at such a young age, who knows what you can do now?

Keep it up!

Mysticalxx

Love it. 2 lines of brilliance.

This is so cute. I love it. And you probably have gotten this a ton by now but what is your language? I think it is super cute that it rhymes too. I can't write rhyming poems and I am fifteen. So amazing job. It is also very fun to find things that you have written or draw or things like that from when you were very little. Just to see the differences and similarities from you now and you when you were a kid.
Keep up the fun and creative writing!
-Roxie Rain

This was so sudden, yet so adorable and heart-warming for some reason. Even the translation indicates such originality. It was so simple, yet pleasantly abrupt. Congratulations for making it to the spotlight!
I can't believe you wrote it when you were two or three though. Maybe it indicates you born a poetry writer

Anyway, nice work.

~Brunnera

This work fills me full of questions.
I know you explain at the beginning that this is completely like unhampered by thought layout, but at the same time it works.
So firstly: what or who is the elephant baby? Does this bear any relation to the elephant man?

I can touch the ceiling, maybe.

And the one on my mother language too:

Kad stanem na bebu slona,

ja dopipnem do plafona.

I'm so happy writing this down somewhere, so many years later! Yay!

Aw. So cute.

I'm not sure how to write a review for something so short, but I like it. First thing that strikes me about this poem is that I admire the 3-year-old Alchemist who wrote this, you must have been such an Elric-like genius!
Haha... But seriously, I love the way your imagination flowed from having an elephant, to having a baby elephant, then getting the elephant inside, standing on it somehow and then thinking of touching the roof. These days, people think too much about technicalities and rules and never think outside the box. It's actually really refreshing to see something outside the box that still makes perfect sense. Of course you might be able to touch the ceiling, depending on how tall you were.

In short, thank you for this poem, thank you for submitting it and thank you for writing it (Pass this message on to 3-year-old you, will ya?).

P.S. I am glad there was no rhyme, structure or meaning lost in translation

I absolutely ridiculously with an enormous amount of my heart love this poem. I love that you worked it out to rhyme in both languages, and how each version has the same jaunty meter, the same brief but powerful image.

You bring the reader in from the floor to the ceiling -- when you mention step, we think of feet and the floor, and "step on" brings us a little higher up to the elephant's back, and ceiling, of course brings us all the way up so you have drawn a line through the room that opens it up as a real, concrete space in our minds.

In addition, the heart of the image is one of hope, of reaching, of trying for something and that's gorgeous to accompany the image of a child at any time.

I feel like knowing that this poem was written by a young child, too, adds to the tone of the poem, and makes it feel soft and radiant.

So the only thing you need to think about now, I think, is what to do with this, and I have some suggestions. You can, of course, keep it personal and do whatever you like with it, but thinking of ways to USE this poem, I'm wondering if you have any background with art? You might frame a picture of the image of this poem in between these two sets of lines to sell as a decoration for a baby's room?

Another idea would be to work on creating a big set of poems like this to form a bilingual book to help people learn your mother language -- Croatian -- in a fun and easy to remember way. By having poems to associate with new vocabulary or grammar forms, and poems that are short and easy to memorize, it might help a lot of people study!

I hope these suggestions are useful to you. Otherwise, just know that I celebrate this poem, and your younger self was beautiful!
PM me if you have any questions/comments about my review.
Good luck and keep writing!

Hannah

This is so cute!

*Edit*

It turns out that your poem really resonated with me because, I couldn't stop thinking about it and what it means. So here's my take

To me your poem summarises the very essence of being a child. To me one of the greatest thing about being a child is one's sense of wonder . Everything at that ages seems so interesting, so curious, so intriguing and you just want to reach out to grab it. Hence the image of babies and children always physically reaching out for something. Something higher than them, whether it be the cookie jar or their mother's necklace as she bends down to them. I feel like you poem greatly expresses this reaching out , this expression of wonder .

I also love how it depicts the boundlessness of childhood. I want to touch the ceiling so I shall step on an elephant. As children we build rockets to go to the moon, ride upon steeds to reach the castle or drive flying cars to go wherever we liked. An adult would never have indulged this notion, never really considered, because it is too strange, unbelievable, too... childish Which is why to me, the elephant in this poem represents imagination because with imagination one can reach boundless possibilities, one can touch the ceiling.

I love the the tone of the poem,as if the child is simply musing, wondering.

This really, really resonated with me. I know I'm probably reading way too deep into it but I just had to let it out I guess. Brilliant job!

Silverlock