It was interesting reading this since you are changing a couple things from what we played but it doesn't seem like the king would be wiling to put his daughters in danger while he stayed in Reveltree. But still this was a very interesting chapter.
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One small light poked through the dark cloud that hung over Fern’s brain. Everything was a jumble, a cloud of fog. Her whole body ached, and although she had her eyes closed, she could sense a presence nearby. She was lying down on something comfortable and soft. A blanket was draped over her.
With an intense effort she opened her eyes, yawning loudly. She pulled her sore arms out from under the covers and rubbed her eyeballs, trying to wake herself up. Fern was lying in her bedroom she now realized, and turned to the right where her bed stand sat, a small candle glowing on it. Next to it sat her father on her white chair from her pine desk nearby. He seemed to be sleeping, for his head was slumped down against his chest.
Fern’ eyelids began to droop as she stared into the candle’s small wavering flame. With a snap of her head she woke herself back up. She pushed back her velvet covers, and noticed that she was dressed in her nightgown. Also, her hair was washed and she was cleaned.
Suddenly the memories of the afternoon flooded back. Fern remembered the dragon attack and Jasper disappearing.She gasped. Jasper hadn’t returned! “Dad! Dad!” she said panicking, tapping his arm.
She awoke with a rumble, groaning and then wiping the sleep from his eyes. “Oh Fern, you’re awake! How do you feel?”
“I’m fine,” she lied, not really caring about how she felt at the moment, “but what happened to Jasper?”
Her heart raced as she waited for her father’s reply. He looked at her quizzically. “Well he landed safely just about a minute before you did. I thought you knew that.”
“What? He did?” Fern exploded, her voice squeaking. “But I thought . . . you mean he’s safe!”
Fern’s father smiled and stroked his beard. “Yes. Does this upset you?”
Fern flopped down onto her bed, her mind whizzing. She couldn’t help the giggles that she let out, and then she guffawed loudly. Her father just looked at her.
“You must be tired,” he said, “I think you need some more rest.”
Fern nodded, the exhaustion she had felt before now washing over her again. She looked at the window and saw that it was dark. She gratefully let her father tuck her in. His eyes were bright and caring.
“I’m glad you made it back safe. I can’t imagine what it would be like losing you Fern. Maybe this is too dangerous for you. Mayb-“
“No!” Fern said, sitting up. “I am, please, I’d like to keep training. Jumper kept me safe.” She frowned. Her father didn’t look convinced. “Look,” she said, trying to think og it in a logical way, “if I survived a crazy dragon attack like that, shouldn’t that mean that Jumper and I are capable of handling just about anything?”
Her father sighed. “I suppose so. Please, just get some rest, okay?”
Fern nodded, yawning.
~~~~
When she slipped off to sleep, Xavier left the room quietly. Outside in the decorated hall, he met Jasper.
“She’s going to be fine Jasper.”
The trainer seemed to be on edge. “I know,” he replied, “but I still don’t like the danger I put her in. I should have realized the timing was bad.”
Every spring when the rains came, wild dragon attacks significantly increased. Jasper guessed it was because all animals were coming of hibernation, and the dragons found it to be a delightful feast. Once summer came the heat was too intense for most mountain dragons, and they flew back up the Black Mountain range.
Xavier patted his shoulder. “You can’t help it that she was born in the spring. Besides, she did handle herself well.”
“She did at that. You should have seen her dragon as well. That pet has good reflexes. They’ll work well as a team in the coming years.”
The king nodded. “Enough of that though. We need to focus on the kingdom as a whole. The dragon attacks will increase as you know, and although the nearby river colonies are well-defended the farther down the river Fraser we go, the fewer troops there are. I’m worried that not only will the dragons figure this out, but also the Hertites. If those cursed raiders take to the water, it could mean all sorts of trade disasters and unrest.”
“What do you suggest?” Jasper asked. Although he was not a war advisor, Xavier often came to him. Especially when it involved dragons. Together they began to leave the hallway, heading out into the gardens. Water dripped from the budding plants and trees. The raindrops gleamed in the moonlight.
“I suggest you take my daughters as far as the Salmon Settlement.” Xavier began, folding his arms behind his back. “Set up checkpoints and scout the area surrounding the colonies around it. Spread out along the riverbanks. I’ll give you two-hundred horsemen to do with as you like, but dragons will be the real key to defending our border.”
Jasper scratched his chin. “You seem to be more concerned than usual. What’s wrong?”
“The Hertites have grown quieter these past few years. They have still raided every year, but not nearly as hard and fierce as they could. I believe them to be planning for an assault. Spies tell me that a clan leader is amassing the clans over there into one big clan. I don’t see why else he would be uniting the clans.”
“Sounds dangerous. Do you think we can stop them if they make an all-out assault, with just four dragons and two-hundred troops?”
“No,” Xavier shook his head. He waited for a servant to walk by and then continued. “But if you stall their first raids with what are usually smaller raiding parties, I’ll have time to prepare our armies to hold them back.”
Jasper nodded. “It sounds like a good plan. When do you want us to leave? Fern needs a few days to recover from the attack, as does Jumper.”
“Leave only when you think you are fit as a group. In the meantime set Iris and Lily to extra dragon training, but keep them close to Revaltree. Now, how about a drink before we retire?”
It was interesting reading this since you are changing a couple things from what we played but it doesn't seem like the king would be wiling to put his daughters in danger while he stayed in Reveltree. But still this was a very interesting chapter.
So first of I guess I will be the one to get you out of the green room
You did have several Grammer errors, as can be expected. Most of them were just a missing letter or punctuation mark. Three of them bothered me enough to mention them. In the third paragraph you put Fern' when it should be Fern's. Also in the paragraph when fern wakes up here dad you didn't have a separate paragraph for dialogue and you did that a few other times as well. Finally in the eighth paragraph of dialogue you put a comma in place of a –. (Not sure what that is called). Ok I got through the Grammer. None of these are huge but the do need to be corrected.
Now I must say I don't really like the king's name. First off, if you are writing fantasy you normally make up most of your names. (I will make exceptions for names like Fern, Jumper, and Jasper). But that is just my opinion. (Also, it doesn't sound very kingly).
But I will give you credit that your story is extremely interesting. I like Fern's personality and I suppose that I also like the medieval like setting of the story. I am really excited about reading more. I must say at first I didn't think I would like the story as much because it is unoriginal but you certainly make up for it with other elements. Keep writing this story.
Meshy!! I'm here again!
Main Points
One small light poked through...
a cloud of fog.
“Well he landed safely
coming of hibernation,
Points: 15489
Reviews: 179
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