Young Writers Society

Hello!
So I was going to review this, but then I didn't, but then I ended up with it for the review exchange, so here I am.

This was a lovely poem full of beautiful images. I love the mood that surrounds every line, like regret hidden by fantasies of youth and reminiscing. I especially love how you describe the geese and their actions. The fourth stanza especially is really wonderful at describing their actions in detail. Basically, your words are spot-on.

It was hard to read this with the way it's punctuated though. It's still possible, but the reader is forced to go back and figure out what exactly you're trying to say, and how you're trying to say it. For example, in the fourth stanza, none of the ends of the lines are the ends of the phrases. That's different from how most of all the poem was, so I had a difficult time reading it. I also didn't like the "Except for" at the beginning of the stanza. I didn't see a use for it. I guess it's not really the punctuation that I'm worried about, just that with the lack of punctuation, the way to read this and when to pause and when not to pause has to be clear.

Now that I'm rereading it though, I think it's fine, because even the wording of the other stanzas made them unclear (such as the "how we'd hop..." when there's no reason at all for the "how," but I must assume you chose that to use stylistically).
Really all these un-clarities just made it more like a slightly hazy memory, which is what I think you might be trying to get at here.

My favorite part was the ending. It was so perfect, beautiful and well-timed.

Thank you for writing this poem, I very much enjoyed reading it.
~fortis

Oh gosh, Audy. I'm always so intimidated when I review one of your poems xD

Welp, I'm here with the Ultramarines and the May Poetry Exchange to review your poem!

Oh, Audy. This is so lovely. So so so lovely. I'll give you my impressions.

Looking at the whole format of the poem, it's very nice and symmetrical. We have two sections like the slopes of mountains, and a plateau like shape in the middle. If this was across the page, it would look like a rather flat topped hill.

with their long skirts and trunk waddle legs strong for rearing

we found later was really male.

curtsies, we assumed all girls should curtsy.

rises to unfurl, rises to crane

Audy! I'm jumping right in because I can't resist a title as luscious as "goose country".

and our mothers too, molted.
we saw the shine gone from their eyes.

and swallow her feathers,
hoped in our hearts, we'd sprout wings.

my mother goose was the white with the orange bill we found later was really male.

I've only read around three or so of your other poems, but they were all very experimental with form. Because of this, it seemed to me that keeping this poem in a slightly standard format was as much a deliberate artistic decision as it was, for example, to put typewriters, ribbons, and printwheels in the format it was. It made for a very subdued poem. I've got no idea if it was what you were going for, since it was quite subtle, but I felt that it was quietly desolate.

My favourite line, or at least the one which I found the most powerful, was:

we'd inspire ourselves saying over and over how geese all mate for life.

my mother goose was the white with the orange bill we found later was really male.