The shapes of time

Very interesting... this poem is so simple yet complex at the same time. The first paragraph makes me picture a line from forever to forever, and the days gone by park is very subtle. The circle with the letters makes me think of little bobs along the line, then surrounded by the square and the oval. However, my favorite part is the last sentence. The fact that the dot is saying Im here makes me imagine all of time behind and all of time ahead, and now an infintesimal point almost not there. Good job!

This was really... Really interesting. It was different. But I like different!

I enjoyed reading the first and the last stanza. I liked them because they were just good. I cant explain them but I totally understand them. I hope you know what I mean.

Your grammar and spelling was great, along was your punctuation. I hope you continue writing more things like this. More poems and books! More everything!

I really liked this poem. If it was a poem which I am assuming it is. I really liked it. It was so different to the point where it was awesome. I hope you liked my review cause I don't like critizing people, but I do, do it if there is something I don't like. But there I nothing to dislike about this poem.

Talk to you later.
Love,
Dogsrule5

Hmmm. Very very interesting. What's good is that the first stanza and the last stanza, for different reasons, are completely awesome and engaging! The first stanza is great because we're just getting into the form of the poem, which means we have to think about it harder to understand it, and then we get a really lovely SOLID and CONCRETE image of the mildew on the windowsill that concretely marks the passage of time. Perfect and yes, a good reason to start a poem.

The last stanza is awesome because it completely takes a different turn from the pattern that the poem had kept to faithfully from the beginning and it opens our mind to thinking about time in a strange and non-linear way, especially because you gave it a voice that called out.

The main problem is that the middle part is way way boring! Haha. It's just describing shapes on a calendar, following the form, and not giving the readers anything to think about to keep them engaged while you work toward the end. I think it's good to keep the form going, because then the last bit really surprises the reader, but you can keep the form without writing such bland stanzas. Maybe more concrete images would pair nicely with the first stanza and still set up for the last?? I'm not sure; I'm torn. Because it may be only because the middle stanzas are so mundane that the last is awesomely refreshing.

Well, play with it if you'd like!
Hope this review was helpful~
PM me or leave a comment on my review if you have any questions.

Good luck and keep writing!

Hannah

Hi! This poem was really good, let me just put it out there before we start.

Now, as I have already mentioned, this poem was really good, therefore I don't think it needs much "tweaking" so to speak. What I noticed though, is the lack of punctuation, but I think it's supposed to be like that, yes? I really like your concept of this poem, it's so unique! One of my favorite stanzas is

"There's a line
of frosted mildew
tracing the sill
marking days gone by"

I like how you make some words all italic and some bold. That was pretty interesting. Anyway, I guess my review is done. This piece is REALLY GREAT. Kudos and keep up the good work!
Cheers!
GrapeNerd