Young Writers Society

This poem was very good and very poetic. I really liked how you said...

Happiness isn't hard.

Happiness isn't hard.

I won't lie. Capitalizing the first letter of every line always makes me thing it's an acrostic poem.

Thank you, Laure, for telling me this deep message:

ILAIASIIIOIATAIILWH.

Hahaha.

Okay, now as for the actual material of the poem. I was definitely a bigger fan of the more physical exploration of your topic. I loved the images. I loved the paper heart flying through the air, the upside down map, the shadow of an owl. These are concrete, specific images that become really clear in my mind.

When the poem took a vaguer path, though, like when you wrote "It melts upon your lips and your pulsing heart", I felt like it was reverting to the sweetness of the mundane happiness poems before it.

It's a really, really hard thing to write a happy poem, because if you're not feeling happiness right then, you don't get it usually, and if you are, you don't need it. And if we don't need or don't get poetry, then it's not really working, right?

The concrete images that I loved, I loved because they were full of the happiness of existence. They were specific and made me engage with the poem by imagining them. There are so many little things in our lives that we enjoy. I think it's a pretty universal phenomenon. And even if they're not always things we enjoy in common, we can appreciate the value of specific-ness? haha.

So, generally, I'd say explore a more specific side to this poem and see if it makes you any happier.

PM or comment if you have questions about my review.
Good luck and keep writing and congrats on going green.