Young Writers Society

Ohhhh, Haikus.
I don't know much about haikus.
But, these are really good. I like how you took certain elements from nature, and constructed some really beautiful poems. My favourite is Swans, simply because it describes swans so beautifully, I mean, they can be vicious creatures, but most people see them as peaceful and calm. You have done that well.

I don't really feel as if I should critique these because of my limited knowledge of haikus.
But, one thing I would be careful of is what fortis said, the limited information I've been told about haikus is that the end juxtaposes with the start. You sort of hint at that with
Autumn, talking about ending, but that is only hinted at.
But, of course, I would take what I say with a grain of salt.

They are really good, and haikus are hard to do, which is why I've never attempted to do them.
Good job and keep writing
Nargles xxx

Hello!
Ooh haikus. Haikus are tricky. There's all these rules you're supposed to follow and such.
This is the most helpful article I have read while learning about haikus. How to (not) write a haiku
It appears to me that you're missing (in all of these) the "Keriji" the (according to that article) "most important element of haiku." It's basically a juxtaposition of ideas. It would be like if the swan was so beautiful but it's really a throat-ripping atrocity or something. I'm not very good at that either. The article is really a life-saver when it comes to "true haiku."

But maybe you didn't mean a haiku specifically, maybe you meant the thing described in the article as a "senryu." You probably did and you just didn't know the name for it. ^_^
If that is the case, these look technically good to me. I like their vivid images, and their peaceful tones. They'd look really good over some pretty picture somewhere.

Sorry, but this is all the advice I have! Read that article!
Great job, keep writing!
~fortis

I appreciate the simple beauty of these lovely haikus. "Swans" has some errors, however... If I'm not mistaken, the middle line of a haiku is seven syllables. "creating the ripples" appears to be six syllables. That is, of course, a simple fix. Additionally, try using better words than "large" and "white." They're easy for these kinds of poems since they are miniature, but throwing a better word in there such as "ivory" really helps. However, I find that "Swans" is my favorite of the three poems. It is very peaceful... "creating the ripples/ in the still water." I love that