A/N: This is a pretty pointless one-shot I typed down right now. I have not attempted to copy J.K Rowling's writing style, although I have borrowed her characters. Everything else belongs to her, too. And yes, for those of you who don't know, Fred Weasley's birthday is April 1st.
I am totally not obsessed with the Weasley twins.
~*~
It was four years after Voldemort fell.
The sky was crimson, the colour of blood, streaked with hazel brushstrokes where the red faded into a cloudy abyss. The Forbidden Forest looked as though it had been set on fire, and the wind blowing through the foliage only added to the effect. It was magic: the serene, natural kind that no enchantment could ever compare to.
But no one was looking at the Forest today--at the arrival of fall in all its glory. Perhaps it was just the stark grimness of living memories, but as he stood by the gravestones of fallen warriors, Harry felt eleven years old again. He was clutching at a bunch of dahlias, the only kind of flowers he had been able to find. He felt as though he owed all these people, these people who had fought and died for the wizarding world--for him. It was wrong to feel guilty, he knew, and it wasn't his fault. And yet he couldn't help it as a tear slipped down his cheek and fell onto the ground: a dark splotch against the dirt. More proof that he was living and that they were not.
Hermione sniffled from beside him. He knew she had tried not to cry, and that she was only trying to be strong for Ron's sake, but it could have mattered less. Ron was sitting cross-legged on the grass, staring into the distance. His face was even paler than usual, and his eyes were red and swollen, rivaling his bright hair. But his face was dry, as though his eyes had run out of tears and he was crying vapours instead. He mumbled something under his breath and returned to staring at the sky, then at the ground, only to look back towards Fred's gravestone and hide his face in his hands. Harry shifted closer to his best friend, and he and Hermione sat down on his either side. No one spoke, and then Ron said suddenly:
"It hurts less every day."
"What?" It was Hermione who had spoken softly--the first words she had said all day.
"Yeah," said Ron, eyes glazed. "I woke up this morning, and I had to force myself to remember what day it was. It's still hard to believe. And whenever I see George, I can hear his voice in my head, saying 'Ickle Ronniekins.' It's just--hard to deal with. But I think--it gets better." He had lost track of himself now, lost track of what he was saying. It was almost like he was speaking to himself, and then he got all distant again. He looked at the sky again, and this time, he smiled.
"It's getting better," Ron said. He looked at his two best friends and laughed at the grim expressions both Harry and Hermione were wearing. "Toss me a flower," he said, pointing at Harry's dahlias. He got to his feet awkwardly, and then placed the flower beside Fred's grave. The stone was made of marble, and the epitaph was in clumsy, black lettering, where George had written it himself: I could write something cheesy and sad here, but I just want you to know that no one wore dress robes at your funeral. Irony in its cruelest form.
Hermione leaned into Ron's side, and he hugged her close. The two made their way down the hill, walking towards Hagrid's hut where the rest of the Weasley family was, but Harry lingered. He watched the smoke spiral upwards from Hagrid's chimney, and then he bent down to place a few of the flowers by Fred's grave. Some he placed by Lupin and Tonk's, and the rest by Colin Creevey's. He wished he could summon more flowers somehow, but these had been the only kind in the greenhouse that didn't have fangs or squirted pus at you. Pulling out his wand, he pointed it at the gravestone so another inscription appeared there, in bright red lettering. He cocked his head at it, and gazed at it with some scrutiny. He'd gotten better, although the writing was just slightly less lopsided than on Dobby's grave.
It's the thought that counts, Harry thought, pocketing his wand. And he sat there as dusk faded to night, listening to the cries of the thestrals, and the songs of the wind. Just listening. As he rose to leave, he glanced back at the gravestone once more; the inscription in red gleamed at him like fireworks in the night. It read:
Happy Birthday, Fred.
***
The starlight shone in through the window, filling the tiny apartment above Weasley's Wizard Wheezes with a clear, opalescent light. George Weasley was hunched up by the window, staring up at the moon, and speaking clearly through the silence.
"I didn't visit you today, Fred. I didn't have the courage to. I didn't have a present either, but that wasn't as important." He laughed--a hollow, empty, colourless laugh. "I don't feel like much of a Gryffindor anymore," he mumbled.
The wind whisked by, pattering on its silent feet, and the light of the gas-lamps cast haunting shadows down the cobble-stoned streets. A single figure walked up the path, and as it neared the window, George saw that it--she--was as dark and beautiful as night herself.
Angelina.
The bell tinkled as she entered the shop, but George remained stationary, gazing out into the night. He heard footsteps make their way up the stairs, and then someone rapped on the door. George heaved himself to his feet and opened it.
"Happy birthday," she said. She had brought a cake--pink with blue icing, and a birthday message written across it in loopy, ridiculous cursive. George smiled.
"Happy birthday, Fred," he said, before reaching out and smashing the cake in Angelina's face.
And passersby who heard George's echoing laughter wondered what kind of grief man had to go through before he could laugh so free.
(Sorry, couldn't resist.)
"I didn't visit you today, Fred. I didn't have the courage to. I didn't have a present either, but that wasn't as important." He laughed--a hollow, empty, colourless laugh. "I don't feel like much of a Gryffindor anymore," he mumbled.
oh god.... fred.... I miss you.... damn it. why did Fred have to die?
its not cool.
Really not sure whether to hug or slap you in the face, in the words of Olaf, " all good things, all good things." But getting more to the point this piece made me laugh, cry, and scream out YES! all at the same time, your writing style while not imitating J.K Rowling still gave hints to it being something she'd write, it was that good. My all time fav line though was,
""I don't feel like much of a Gryffindor anymore," he mumbled. " The reason was it pulled on the heart strings you could feel just how much George loved Fred and more.
And I have to admit the not writing in her style adding your own flare made this piece that much better.
I also enjoyed how you gave it in parts with Ron and then George it helped the story along right mate.
And stating this right now sorry this is not a review this is just showing what you did right because honestly, I see nothing wrong with this work. Well done and keep it up.
( huge twin fan as well :3)
~FIN~
I wasn't very sure if I wanted to laugh or to cry, and that made me really vexed and I hence feel like hitting you. But I say that with love, respect and compliments. Seriously, I kind of feel like hitting you though.
I loved that bit about George not really feeling like a Gryffindor anymore, and yes, I cried a little at that part.
About not even bothering to copy Queen Rowlings's style, honestly, it's fine. It's great, really, that you pulled it off with your own style, and it still feels as real and raw and emotional as it is. The pacing was great, slow enough for the reader to get stabbed in the face, once again, at the reminder that Fred is gone forever. A sense of loss that is not quite outright sorrow, I now know, leaves a far more lasting impression than having people wail and sob.
This feels more like a personal reflection than a review, but I hope you can sieve out things that's helpful to you as a writer. Thanks for the wonderful story.
Okay, I really really loved this. I thought you did a great job, especially with the pacing. You have wonderful descriptions, and who uses words like "opalescent" anymore? Only really awesome people, that's who.
And here's my critique. You used "and then." You used "and then!" How could you! I can understand if it were once, maybe twice, but I saw it way too often, maybe five times? I'm sorry for my bluntness, but this phrase needs to be taken out back and beat down to nonexistence. If you need to use the words "and then" in any part of a sentence or phrase (unless it's in dialogue because people do say that all the time), the sentence needs a reworking. Most of the time, just take out the "then" and the sentence will work just fine. In other cases, take out the "and" and voila, we have a winner. Basically, the only thing you could have improved on was taking out "and then."
Otherwise, I loved it! Especially the last paragraph! Absolute genius, believe it! Good luck on all your writing ventures:)
D'aww, I'm a sucker for Harry Potter fanfiction.
My only nitpick was that last line. I think it would make more sense if it was -- "And a passerby who heard George's echoing laughter wondered what kind of grief a man had to go through before he could laugh so freely."
But other than that, this was pretty awesome. I'm super happy that the story focused on two things: how the Golden Trio spend the day and how George spent the day. It was nice to see the focus put on Fred, while as focused on Lupin and Tonks and all of the fallen, and then it was just George focused on Fred.
The imagery in this was just lovely, especially the beginning with the sky's description. The emotions of Harry, Ron, Hermione, and George were conveyed nicely through the story and I did cry a little, yes, especially at the "Ickle Ronniekins" part. :'(
I loved the ending, and how we see a spark growing between George and Angelica. I can't remember who it was that fancied her in the book, but knowing that George is the one that marries her makes me happy. I'm a bit sad that you didn't have them already together, but still, the building romance is just adorable.
Overall, I thought this was really good. An accurate fanfic, and one that took on your style of writing. Maybe it took on some of Queen Rowling's traits, but I like that this has more of a "you" feel than it does a "Rowling" feel. It's written by the fans and for the fans. :') Thank you for sharing!
And yes, I miss him too. I miss all of them. :'c
This was so amazing! I loved it; you wrote this so beautifully, and I could actually imagine this happening in the books. It was, as it was supposed to be, extremely sad.
I nearly started to cry! I do like the fact that you added in a bit of humor, so it wasn't as morbid as you could have made it.
I do not see any grammar mistakes; I just suggest that when you say "And passersby..." you might want to say "And any passersby..." I personally think it flows better but you don't have to change it.
It was a great read and I would like to read more of your work.
Keep writing!
Hey Cesare here for a review.
Well I know that you are a fellow Harry Potter Fan (love that series), and when I first saw the title, I thought it was something different.
This is the second Harry Potter fanfic I read and reviewed this week. I have a couple of suggestions.
1)
And passersby who heard George's echoing laughter wondered what kind of grief man had to go through before he could laugh so free.
"It hurts less every day."
What?! That ending was so totally unexpected. It came out of nowhere. I guess I should have expected nothing different from George.... The first part was really sad. Even the last part was, just also funny. Congrats on keeping me on my toes. 
Keep writing.
Here my silly little review:
This is amazing! It brought tears to my eyes, and you wrote beautifully. The description was good and you captured the emotion very well... rest in peace dear Fred 
Of course the final part (cake to the face. ha.) finishes the story off perfectly. Its so good to see Georges spirit never died after the grief of losing his brother.
Good job! Keep writing
OK, I now have a broken heart. Nothing else to say, except, well, that this is just like something J.K. herself would have written. It's just sad enough to fit the occasion, and each thing blends perfectly into the other… the end of the last book… I feel like this is the perfect add-on.
I wonder what she would think of this. You could write her about it.
~Curiosity(killed the)Cat
(And, yeah, I am DEFINITELY a Potter fan. I read the first book when I was 6. Love at first paragraph. 
)
This is the first time I've ever commented without nitpicking. And that's 218 reviews.
I prefer this over Letters. Especially Ron's lines; Ron just rang Ron. A young writer's common tendency is to substitute all "yeah"s for "yes"s, because unlike adults, we write differently than when we speak. But the dialogue popped, because it flowed so natural. Ron stammered--our sweet, lovable Ron.
Colin Creevey ... I love that you included him. J.K. only devoted a couple paragraphs or so to his death, but I remember it clearly, because he was such an irritating character. When I told my friends he died, they were like, "Really?" It's also interesting that the style mirrored the books, in the respect that you granted each character the same amount of emphasis J.K. did. Lupin and Tonks were passed by almost without a second glance, but their deaths stung.
The stuff below I don't consider nitpicks, because it's just Potterhead gabble that your readers will barely notice, like Angelina was Fred's girlfriend, and yet George describes her as beautiful.
Dobby's grave is also located at Shell Cottage. Unless they relocated it? Then why is he buried with students who died in The Battle? And did Andromeda Tonks consent to her daughter being buried at Hogwarts? Alright, I'm going to get technical for a moment:
Hogwarts is in Scotland. Tonks's house should be in England, as Harry only had to cross several counties (on flying motorcycle) to reach it from Privet Drive's, and Privet Drive's near London, which we know because they were able to drive to King's Cross by car (The Philosopher's Stone). My point? Tonks's house is nowhere near Hogwarts.
There are also some other graves that I feel Harry's neglecting: Dumbledore, Snape, Crabbe, and Ted Tonks (assuming he's buried with his daughter). Others who may/may not be buried at Hogwarts: Hedwig, Bathilda Bagshot, and Rufus Scrimgeour.
My tear duct is too small for this piece. Write more like it, but ... *can't finish sentence* 
Helloooooo fellow PotterHead!
When I saw the title, I knew right away it was a Harry Potter fan fiction. And I was excited. It was brilliant. You are a good writer, and this shows in this piece. I enjoyed reading every single bit of it. There were a few parts that showed less of Harry and more of Hermione's thoughts... you might want to fix that. Be Harry Potter as you write as Harry Potter.
I love the fact that George throws the cake in Angelina's face, that's what he would do. You wrote the story as if you were JK ROwling, The Queen, herself.
I loved this.
~ Nike
DO YOU MEAN TO TELL ME THAT YOU CAN JUST SIT DOWN AND WRITE LIKE THAT AND THEN CALL IT POINTLESS!?!?
Okay, phew, let's start from the beginning and go from there.
I'm going to have to start using "brushstrokes," to describe sunsets from now on. I love that!
Good job describing and setting the scene without going into too much detail.
Way to describe everyone's emotions without getting too caught up in their minds.
I like the inscription on the epitaph, and the change as well.
I like the lightness of the tone, because that's exactly how Fred was.
I like how you chose a "minor" character (my favorites but some people seem to think the twins aren't all that important) and made him really significant.
Of course, I love the inclusion of Angelina because I feel like people forget how close she is to the twins and the Terrific Trio.
Lastly, I love how you changed from the scene with the grave to George by himself. It made it more serious and more heart-warming at the same time.
While I don't think George would not go to his brother's grave, I like the idea that his "cheery" attitude about the situation is a façade. That concept is very Rowlinesque and I applaud you for it.
Usually, I don't like reading other people's short story stuff because I'm just a terrible human being and because I've read too many poorly written short stories.
But this has really turned me around for short story readings. Way to win a convert!
I'd give this five stars of five, because honestly your style is fantastic. Keep writing, I want to read more!!
Hello! First of all I have to say this was amazing! I started crying even before I read the story, the title alone brings about bittersweet memories of reading Harry Potter. Fred and George were always one of my favorites and a part of me hates J.K. for destroying the infinite bond between the Weasley twins, but alas it is life.
I really like your writing style, it flows well and although it's not J.K. (no offense on your part because I mean who can compare?) it still is compatible to her writing style. I had to read this twice, I started reading it ready to critique but I got so caught up in the story that I gave up trying to review it and decided to just enjoy it. Which I did. Like a lot.
Moving on to the review!
"And yet he couldn't help it as a tear slipped down his cheek and fell onto the ground; a dark splotch against the ground." <--- Here you repeat ground twice, it kind of interrupts the the flow so maybe try something like "And yet he couldn't help it as a tear slipped down his cheek and fell onto the ground; a dark splotch against the stone/concrete/whatever you like."
"Hermione sniffled from beside him. She had tried not to cry, and he knew she was only trying to be strong for Ron's sake, but it could have mattered less." <--- When you say "she had tried not to cry" it sounds like we're in Hermione's head, try rewording it to something like: "He knew that she had tried not to cry, that she was only trying to be strong for Ron's sake".
"The red-head was sitting cross-legged on the ground, staring into the distance." <--- Again repetition of ground, try grass maybe. This is more of a personal preference but
something just seems off about referring to Ron as "the red-head". Even though everyone in the world knows who Ron Weasley is, it's still better to call him by his first name. Also I would make this a new paragraph.
" But his face was dry, as though his eyes had run out of tears and he was crying vapours instead." <--- Love this imagery!
"No one spoke, and then Ron said suddenly: "It hurts less every day." " <--- Make this a new paragraph too.
""What?"" <--- Who says this
"He had lost track of himself now, lost track of what he was saying. It was almost like he was speaking to himself, and then he got all distant again. He looked at the sky again, and this time, he smiled." <--- This sounds like it's in Ron's head, maybe say something like this instead" "He stopped like he had lost track of himself, lost track of what he was saying"
"It's getting better," he said. He looked at his two best friends and laughed at their grim expressions." <--- This seems off too, re-word it something like this: "It's getting better," Ron said. He looked at Harry and Hermione and then he laughed, probably because of the grim expressions Harry knew both he and Hermione were wearing.
"The two made their way down the hill, walking towards Hagrid's hut where the rest of the Weasley family were," <--- Were should be was.
"and then he bent down to place the rest of the flowers by Fred's grave. Some he placed by Lupin and Tonk's, and some by Colin Creevey's" <--- How can he place flowers on Lupin's, Tonk's and Colin's grave if he placed the rest on Fred's? 
Try this instead: "and then he bent down to place more flowers by Fred's grave, scooping up the remaining ones as he walked to the other rocks that represented people he had loved."
"And he sat there as dusk faded to night, listening to the cries of the thestrals, and the songs of the wind. Just listening. As he rose to leave, he glanced back at the gravestone once more; the inscription in red gleamed at him like fireworks in the night. It read:
Happy Birthday Fred." <--- I really love this!
" "Happy birthday," she said. She had brought a cake -- pink with blue icing, and a birthday message written across it in loopy, ridiculous cursive. George smiled.
"Happy birthday, Fred," he said, before reaching out and smashing the cake in Angelina's face.
And passersby who heard George's echoing laughter wondered what kind of grief man had to go through before he could laugh so free." <--- This made me laugh because it seems like something only Fred or George could do and get away with. Beautiful, beautiful ending. It summed everything up wonderfully!
Sorry if I was a little harsh, and please don't think I didn't like your story because I did. I rarely take time to review people's work unless I really like the story Keep up the amazing writing & thanks for making my cry
-Nicole
Hello, Cheetah here to review this magnificent piece. (I apologize in advance if I accidently mix up their names and say that George died or something.)
Pompadour. You confuse me with your greatness. I read the first part of it thinking, 'Crap, I'm gonna cry.' Nope. In the spirit of Fred and George you turned it around. I have no idea how you made something so sad turn funny. I think that's the best thing about this.
It was four years after Voldemort fell.
I could write something cheesy and sad here, but I just want you to know that no one wore dress robes at your funeral.Irony in its cruelest form.
He watched the smoke spiral upwards from Hagrid' chimney,
He wished he could summon more flowers somehow, but these had been the only kind in the greenhouse that didn't have fangs or squirted pus at you.
"Happy birthday, Fred," he said, before reaching out and smashing the cake in Angelina's face.
And passersby who heard George's echoing laughter wondered what kind of grief man had to go through before he could laugh so free.
Before I begin to read:
Please tell me this is not what I think it is. Please tell me I am not about to cry my eyeballs out as George Weasley celebrates a birthday alone.I totally am, I just know it.
Okay, and now to read it....
OH MY GOD THAT ENDING THOUGH
Okay, thank you for making the ending funny, because a) I could totally see George smashing a cake in someone's face as a fitting tribute to Fred and b) otherwise I was totally going to lose it.
I'm not a big fan of fanfiction, in general, but I think you did a good job keeping everyone in character--or at least, keeping the main players, in this case Harry and George, in character (the others didn't stand out as much, but Hermione didn't even talk, so...yeah). And how they gave Fred a tribute--Harry carving "Happy birthday" into his gravestone like he carved in Dobby's gravestone, and George (as previously mentioned) smashing a cake in someone's face. The ending is a nice sort of plot twist, except it also makes sense, and it leaves us laughing rather than sobbing our eyeballs out like I expected to do at the outset of the story.
I think the only thing I questioned is, they're all buried at Hogwarts? I mean, we don't actually know where they ARE buried, and since they all fell at Hogwarts that seems, well, easiest, but...I mean, they all had family elsewhere, and in some cases family buried elsewhere--like Colin Creevey came from a Muggle family, so would he be buried at Hogwarts when his parents probably can't even see the real building (just a ruin)?
You know what I'm saying? I mean, it was just weird to me that they were all buried at Hogwarts. Other than that, I liked it.
Blue
Why would you kill people in the feels like this?! But that means it's like incredible! It was caught in just by the first few lines, and I was impressed. I was like "Dannnng."
But I am like totally impressed by this. I can't even find negative words to say about this. It is just to impressive to even write a review about.
The moment with Dobby's grave (Almost typed "Bobby") is what hit me the most just as the entire story did. I love the touching message Harry left on his tombstone.
Pulling out his wand, he pointed it at the gravestone so another inscription appeared there, in bright red lettering. He cocked his head at it, and gazed at it with some scrutiny. He'd gotten better, although the writing was just slightly less lopsided than on Dobby's grave.
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