z

Young Writers Society


12+ Violence

The Book Man, Chapters 32-34 (Revised)

by BluesClues


32 THE KING AND HIS STEED

He could not find his way through the maze that night. He went too quickly in his panic, made three wrong turns, and had to backtrack all the way to the start of the maze just to put himself right. Finally, however, he found himself in the center of the maze, in the round grassy area where the horse usually grazed. He did not see it at first. The pedestal in the center of the pasture was empty as usual, but the grass around it was littered with chunks of stone. The largest two were recognizably a booted foot and half of a hard, proud face: all that was left of the statue of Morrow, the Rover king.

Christian reached for the face, feeling sick. Then he heard a soft whicker from behind him. The horse stood in the shadows, pressed against the surrounding hedge, but its neck stretched out hopefully as it saw a familiar face. Christian made kissing noises to beckon it over, feeling silly but more glad than he’d ever felt in his life to have some company.

The horse came and nuzzled his shoulder with its velvety nose. Something growled and snarled behind them. Christian whipped around to see a hellhound standing over the pedestal. It towered over him, blacker than a starless night, all lean muscle and round shoulders and giant, padded paws. It bared its teeth at them. The horse screamed—Christian picked up the nearest chunk of stone, the face, and whipped it at the hellhound as hard as he could (not very hard). The beast vanished before the stone made contact.

The horse pressed against Christian, trembling. He put a hand on its warm neck and looked around, shivering despite the heat of the night and the animal beside him. The hellhound did not reappear.

Christian swallowed and whispered to the horse, “Come on.” Together they wound their way through the maze, toward the rose beds.

33 COLLAPSE

The rest of the gardens had been intact, but the roses were blackened and burnt, some trampled, many reduced to nubbins. The leaves of the climbing roses in the trellis curled back with brittle dryness. Bits of paper with burnt edges drifted through the air, all that was left of Minerva’s library and the books Christian had given her. He caught one of the pieces of paper. It said, all the stars are laughing.

Christian stopped beneath the trellis and called out, “Minerva?”

He waited, but he was met with silence. His hands trembled and went cold, but he held tightly to the horse and continued on toward the pool and the bench.

His foot scuffed something. He looked down and saw a chunk of stone in the shape of a hand. A short ways away he found another chunk of stone, this one a smooth and indeterminate piece that might have been an arm. Then there was another, and another, and another, this one like an eye, that one full of scales, this like the tail of a fish—

The mermaid, Christian realized with a jolt, the mermaid who had lived in the pool. He gathered up the broken fragments and piled them at the water’s edge in a sort of cairn. He stood over it for a moment, trying to think of something nice to say about the mermaid (even though no one would hear him), but she had never spoken as far as he could remember. Instead he settled for a moment of respectful silence, and then, shakily, put his hand back on the horse’s neck and continued onward.

Minerva had not yet awoken. Her face was frozen in its cold marble smile, but her right arm had been broken off at the elbow, and the pitcher it held to her shoulder lay in white chunks scattered around the courtyard. Could she even wake up now? Christian wasn’t sure, and he wasn’t sure what would happen if she did. Feeling cold, he sat. The horse stood nearby.

His breath came in shaky bursts, and he worked at controlling it. Inhale, exhale, he told himself. Whatever happened, it wouldn’t help Minerva to see him panic. Inhale, exhale. Slow breaths, he thought. Easy does it.

A drop of blood landed beside him on the bench.

He sucked in a breath and then remembered he was supposed to be controlling it. Now he had to work at keeping it steady. Inhale, exhale, he told himself with less resolve.

Another drop of blood splashed onto the bench.

His throat tightened. He tilted his head back to look as blood gushed from the marble stump of the statue’s arm.

Christian leapt from the bench and tumbled to the ground, skinning his palms and tearing the knees of his slacks. He gaped at Minerva with wide eyes and a heart throwing itself against his ribcage like it wanted to escape, and his lungs had forgotten about control and pumped crazily, inoutinoutinoutinout.

The blood gushed faster from her arm as color streaked through it: red at the end of the stump, creamy through the arm and neck and face, deep brown where the hair curled softly to the shoulders, the cold white eyes darkening as well and fluttering shut…

Christian threw a hand over his mouth as nausea rose within him at the sight of the blood and the beautiful forehead crumpling in pain, but not for long. A moment later he darted forward to catch Minerva as she collapsed.

34 FIGHTING FIRE WITH A TEACUP

He sat on the pedestal with her in his arms. Her blood soaked into his trousers and pooled on the white marble, staining it pink. Christian bit his lips until they were white, trying not to scream or throw up or both. He had to stop the bleeding, he thought wildly, he had to stop the bleeding or she would bleed right out.

He set her down for a moment and worked at taking off his shirt, fumbling with the buttons until they were all undone. The shirt remained whole when he yanked at the fabric. He set upon it with his teeth instead and tore and tore until his jaw ached and the shirt was reduced to a pile of bandage-like strips beside him. There was a smudge of blood on his undershirt.

He wrapped Minerva’s arm in the strips of fabric until her stump was more or less bandaged, hoping it would be enough. Then he took her in his arms again and touched her cheek with quaking fingers.

“Minerva. Minerva, wake up. Please wake up.”

After several long moments, her eyes opened.

“Christian?” She managed a weak smile, but it faded after a moment. “You promised not to come.”

“I know,” he said. “I know. I’m sorry. I’m so sorry.”

He didn’t know what to say. But he felt he needed to say something, so he kept saying “I’m sorry” because he couldn’t think of anything else, and all the while he felt like he was trying to put out a fire with a tea cup. He hid his face in her hair to hide his shame and his tears. Minerva laid a hand on his wrist and hushed him. He looked at her with bright eyes.

“I’m glad you’re here,” she said.


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Wed Aug 13, 2014 10:34 pm
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Deanie says...



Hi Blue! I'm back!

The horse screamed—Christian picked up the nearest chunk of stone, the face, and whipped it at the hellhound as hard as he could (not very hard). The beast vanished before the stone made contact.


I had a little idea and I thought I should share, even if you totally disagree and don't wanna do it anyways :P Well, seeing as he threw the head and it didn't make contact, maybe it would be nice to mention the eerie sound of it landing in the deathly silence around them? Or even the head could shatter... It would just add to the atmosphere more and so on.

Another possibility would be to have the head land and roll, it's stare landing on Christian. All creepy things...

:D Hope this helped ^^

Deanie x




BluesClues says...


Ooooooh, good ideas. I might pick one of them, just not sure which one yet. All good ideas.



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Fri Jul 25, 2014 1:13 pm
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TimmyJake wrote a review...



Timmy here!

he found himself in the center of the maze, in the round grassy area where the horse usually grazed.


I didn't know you did poetry! hee-hee. Sorry, this sentence was too lyrical to ignore. The rhyming!

Oh my goodness... And just when I was beginning to hope that the statue of Morrow, the Rover King, was going to come to life and start swinging his sword. Now he has become gravel for a driveway. Wow. what a turn of events. The entire first chapter was so tense, so on-the-edge-of-my-seat kind of writing--too perfect!

The horse screamed


Do horses scream? I have never heard a horse scream before, although I have been around them for quite a while. (Not too long at one time, but I ride them every so often and spend five days each year with horses as company.) I have heard them whinny, but never scream. It sounds like something that they could do, but I thought I would mention it--just in case. :)

He put a hand on its warm neck


Ooooh... You missed an awesome chance here! The horse could be sweating from fear, and Christian could feel it mixing with his own or something... AND you could take this time to describe the feeling of the coarse hair on the horse, the power Christian could feel behind the muscles. Horses feel so powerful when you put a hand on them... Its quite a sensation, actually. It may sound like a strange thing for a sensation, but its a neat feeling when you put a hand to its neck... :)

Her face was frozen in its cold marble smile, but her right arm had been broken off at the elbow,


<.< I am going to have words with you one of these days, Blue. You just took my favorite character and cut her all up! There will be consequences for your lack of respect! Tis so sad. ): He is trying his best to keep her alive and well, but I wonder how she will heal. Also, I wonder if her arm can be repaired while she is in her rocky state during the day... It would be so neat if that was a possibility! :D But even if not, she will bear this injury until the day she dies--and Christian will feel it inside him as well. Amazing job to keep me into this story, and the pages, (well, browser pages) flying.

She was happy he came back! Yayyyy! I knew she would be. Somehow, I knew she would be happy. :)

I am loving this. So. Much.
~Darth Timmyjake




BluesClues says...


You know what's funny? Somehow I didn't see this review until after the next review, and I was like?????????? You skipped a chapter??????? So I'm quite happy to see that is not so.



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Thu Apr 10, 2014 4:48 am
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Deanie wrote a review...



Good morning Blue!

I don't think I reviewed you yesterday but I was snowed under with homework! I'm here and trying to catch up with Messenger again. And get to the end of your story ^^

Loving the first chapter! Naro is such a secluded person who's made such great friends with her land that she feels the need to be there. I can't imagine her embarking on a very long trip at all... she would get too homesick! And although she did do a cruel thing she seems so nice :') Out of curiosity, what age range is your book for? I never thought about it till now and I'm just wondering...

So Naro can hear his thoughts. Can she hear them wherever she goes, even when she travels back to he garden? Because she showed up pretty conveniently when Christian was being attacked by the Sirens, and when he wakes up she returns again. So, is it possible for her to keep tabs on one certain person so she can see them?

I was a bit disappointed in the middle chapter, where they are travelling to the palace. They don't talk much... and Naro is such an interesting and unique character, I wanted to know more about her. We don't know much except she is protective and alone... I wanted to know if she was the only one of her kind, because she sure does act like it. How did she become keeper of the lands she had? You know how Christian has learned a little background on Conrad, and Aurelia with her sisters and a little bit on everyone? I wanted Naro's little bit of backstory!

I know he should be worried about Minerva first, and his Book house but it wouldn't hurt to make him a bit worried about Conrad too. I mean his friend was injured! And he hasn't seen him for the longest amount of tie, despite the reassurances he's been given.

I loved the description of the surroundings inside the palace... how you built it all up to sound so majestic and then made it all lead up to Neva on his throne! I can't wait to meet this angel and see what he's like in the next chapter :)

Deanie x




BluesClues says...


Do you know, audience age-range is one of my biggest problems with novel writing. Because the general way of the story makes it seem like it would appeal more to younger people (and everyone who's read is so far is between like 14 and 23), but the MC is 37, so...



Deanie says...


I know what you mean though! It sounds like a pretty all age story... It could be targeted for kids but then its a bit... much. Like my twelve days! I want to target it to kids but then sometimes I feel like I include too much heavy stuff for kids :/



Deanie says...


I know what you mean though! It sounds like a pretty all age story... It could be targeted for kids but then its a bit... much. Like my twelve days! I want to target it to kids but then sometimes I feel like I include too much heavy stuff for kids :/



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Wed Apr 09, 2014 5:46 am
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Messenger wrote a review...



I really need to figure out how to make a more interesting entrance. Like every time it is the exact same thing and I hate that >.< Anyway, I passed Deanie (small cheer) and must stay ahead. So to review (hopes there is something TOO review)

She did not seem terribly surprised that he had come from Earth, perhaps because of all the Fair-folk that spent each night in her world.

She already knew he was human so why would she be surprised? And in this land wh would she be surprised at ANYthing :P

Neva was the magnificent being of Aurelia’s story, the being who had charged her and her sisters with the task of keeping Goblin trapped so he wouldn’t escape to Earth. The being who had banished her and her sisters when they failed.

Ooooh goody, an angel!!

He felt as if he had not been home in years. He missed the Book House, in that moment, almost more than he missed Minerva. He sighed without realizing it. Narodnaya looked sideways at him but said nothing.

Sheeesh! Poor guy can't even think without her knowing what he is saying. This guy has no privacy left whatsoever.

He is one of Neva’s messengers.

You didn't tell me I was in your book :P

I cannot read the minds of beasts and birds as well as humans. They are not so simple-minded.

Ouch.

Bum Bum Bum. EPIC ENDING. Actually I was totally expecting it. It was more like I was doing a LoTR's music score thingy . .whatever.

I don't really have much to say on these chapters. I can't wait to see what Neva is like and how and the witch get along.

~Messenger




BluesClues says...


ALL MY YES TO LOTR-TYPE SCORING

And, ahem: "You didn't tell me I was in your book" <3



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Sun Mar 30, 2014 9:16 pm
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Rydia wrote a review...



This is why I should stay away from YWS on review days. Or most days, but especially review days...

Specifics

1. Of course she isn't surprised he's from Earth, he already said he's a human! Even if he doesn't smell like one ;)

2. Does he not wonder if the dead man might be Conrad? I would. Just how many men travel to strange lands? I would be very worried that it might have been my friend D:

3. So quickly he has come from wondering if the sprites she referred to were the fairies and wondering how they could misjudge her if so, to being sure that they were and to recalling that in the story they told him they tried to kill the Marsh witch. Or did he learn that elsewhere? I forget! The thing is though, if I have forgotten half of that story and I've just been sat here reading it, then I'm sure after a few days of hardship he remembers very little of what they said!

4. I'm glad he doesn't remember who Neva is, that's a nice bit of realism. Strangely, that was the one name I actually did remember from the story, but maybe because it's shorter and easier to recall xD We all remember things differently though so it's just good to see that Christian is being human!

5. I kind of want Christian to ask how charging in to see the angel went for her? Or at least for him to take heart in knowing that she did that and didn't come to any permanent harm.

6. Why does Christian presume the bird couldn't hear her thoughts? That comes out of nowhere. There's nothing to suggest she tried thinking at the bird or that it didn't react to her so it feels a bit like a step out of the story and like you as the author have decided this is something we need to know.

7. Telling us the names of the flowers doesn't help much as many are unfamiliar - I want colours and descriptions of whether they're vine plants or flowery plants. What do they look like?

Overall

A good filler chapter. I think the angel needs to employ a more useful messenger since I'm sure anyone other than Naya has trouble communicating with it and if it can't hear her thoughts then even she has trouble! There's no wonder people have to charge in on him ;)

Heather xx




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Fri Mar 21, 2014 2:23 am
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Iggy wrote a review...



As always, beautifully detailed.

I hate that Narodnaya can read your thoughts. It's weird D: It's like Christian can't do anything privately anymore. Can she see his dreams as well, I wonder?

I just love how beautifully you describe the scenery of the Otherworld. One thing I would like to know is: is there magic there? What a stupid question, of course there's magic there. What I want to know is if Christian can feel it. The way I see it is that the magic is probably in the air, thick and intangible, but nonetheless there. Will he be able to use it?! :D

Overall, this is getting very good. I can't wait to see how this Neva is like. Is he sexy? Your typical angel? I'm also curious to see his personality, and also, why he's not in his form of heaven.. unless this is his heaven? Explain. >_>

I'll review the next installment tomorrow. :3




BluesClues says...


Well, there are magical creatures, but I think since it's normal for the Otherworld you wouldn't notice as much. Like how you're more likely to notice a freak cold day in high spring when things have been warm for a while than you are to notice one in winter when it's cold anyway, if you get my meaning.




Darkness cannot drive out darkness: only light can do that. Hate cannot drive out hate: only love can do that.
— Martin Luther King Jr.