z

Young Writers Society


E - Everyone

The Book Man, Chapter 24 (Revised)

by BluesClues


24 HARPIES

He headed straight for the shed behind the house and flipped the light switch. Nothing happened. He muttered curses to himself and dug about in the darkness. Cleaning supplies and tools went flying across the shed.

At the back, sitting in a wagon, he finally found what he was looking for: two buckets, empty except for a few stray spiders. He shook the spiders loose and ran back to the park with the buckets.

The mermaid settled behind her pedestal to watch as he dipped them into her pool. They were much heavier than Minerva’s enchanted pitcher when full, and of course he would have to keep returning to the pool to refill them. But the roses would not die. He was determined of that.

He had only finished one rose bed, however, and filled his buckets only once more, when he looked up to see Minerva watching him from across the path, holding her pitcher on her shoulder. She smiled at the sight of him.

“What are you doing?” she asked.

Christian sloshed water all over himself in his haste to make his way across the path to her. “Watering the roses.”

His voice shook. He had been so certain something awful had happened to her, yet she stood before him as if nothing in the world was wrong. Her smile widened.

“I can see that,” she said. “Forgive my delay. Where did those buckets come from?”

“My shed,” he said. Why didn’t you wake up, he wanted to ask, but the question stuck in his throat as something whooshed through the leaves overhead.

“What was that?” he croaked instead.

Her smile vanished, her pitcher went onto the ground, and her slingshot appeared from the folds of her gown. Though her eyes narrowed as she searched the trees for whatever had made the sound, her voice was steady when she spoke.

“I don’t know,” she said.

The something swished through the leaves again, like an owl after a mouse—but bigger. What owl’s wings made such noise in flight? What owl could make the treetops dance as if a wind had sprung up?

A third whoosh, this time behind them. Minerva held her slingshot at the ready, with a stone the size of an eagle’s egg loaded into it. Christian brandished his buckets.

On the ground, the bushes trembled. The accountant swallowed hard. Minerva trained her slingshot on the spot, but after a moment, a squat little man hopped out.

Christian’s voice cracked when he spoke.

“A garden gnome,” he said, lowering his buckets.

Minerva hushed him. “It wasn’t a gnome in the trees.”

She had a point there, he thought, though he would have happily believed gnome was the one making all the noise. By the looks of it, the squat little man would have happily believed the same thing about them. Its painted-on eyes were wide with fear as it waddled over to them and hid behind Christian’s legs, clutching at his trousers.

For several moments, silence. Then the something whooshed for a fourth time, but rather than dying away the sound continued onward in the direction of the herb garden.

“It’s getting away,” Minerva said. Without another word, she spun around and gave chase, slingshot in hand.

“Minerva!” Christian shouted as he followed her. Already he had lost sight of her amidst the branches and shrubs draping the path. “Minerva!”

He slowed as he neared the herb garden, clutching the handles of his buckets. The garden gnome waddled to catch up to him.

“Minerva?” he whispered.

His heart pounded as fast as a rabbit’s. Far from feeling safe at the thing’s disappearance, he couldn’t stop looking to see where it had gone. He was so intent on his search that he walked right into Minerva when he reached the herb garden.

“Sorry,” he said automatically, but she seemed not to have noticed that he’d bumped into her. She gazed intently at the surrounding trees with her slingshot raised.

“Where did it go?”

“Minerva—” Christian’s voice caught in his throat, but he pressed on. “Minerva, I think we should go back. I think—”

An ugly screech came from the direction of the courtyard. The color drained from Minerva’s face.

“The roses!”

She turned and flew toward the rose garden with the long skirts of her tunic clutched in a hand, running so quickly that her feet barely skimmed the ground as she went. Christian sprinted after her, calling her name.

He skidded to a stop in the courtyard, arrested by the sight of the two creatures attacking the roses bushes.

At first glance, they were eagles—giant eagles, half Christian’s height, with wings that beat so hard as they hovered above the roses that the nearby plants waved and danced as if caught in a hurricane. But when they turned to look at him, they had the faces of cruel and beautiful women. Their eyes blazed yellow—they screeched again—now the accountant saw why. They were trying to tear out the rose bushes with their talons, but something kept them from touching the plants. An invisible barrier protected the roses from the creatures’ talons.

“Harpies,” Minerva hissed. She sent a stone flying at one of them and missed, bent for another, shot again, and hit the other in the temple. The beast shrieked and abandoned the roses, but before it could reach Minerva she’d hit it again, this time in the jaw. The other harpy came after Christian, who squeezed his eyes shut and swung his buckets until he heard one of them make contact.

The next moment, a soft hand slipped into his, a voice said run in his ear, and then he was stumbling through the gardens with Minerva. The harpies screeched and flapped after them, but their overlarge wings got caught up in the tangle of branches and shrubs. They fell back and vanished into the greenery.

Minerva did not let go of Christian’s hand. Instead she dragged him along until they had reached the center of the maze. The black horse looked up from its grass as they collapsed together on the stone pedestal to catch their breath.

“What—was—that?” the accountant asked when he could speak. His chest burned; his heart pumped loudly in his ears. “What—were they—doing?”

“The roses. The Good Magic.” Minerva put her head in her hands. “If Goblin’s allies destroy them, it will be that much easier for him to return and take back the park. Thank heaven the spell held.”

When she looked up, tears were rolling down her face.

“Minerva—”

“I have to go back.”

“No,” Christian said, grasping her hand as she stood up. “No, you mustn’t. Those awful creatures will—”

He wasn’t sure what those awful creatures would do, but at that moment they made their reappearance. They swooped above the treetops, screeching madly. The horse reared and screamed. Minerva wiped her tears away and glared up at them, but Christian tugged on her arm.

“Come on,” he said. “We can’t stay here—”

She wrenched her hand out of his and readied her slingshot.

“What else can I do?” she asked. “I’m supposed to protect them.”

The harpies dove at them. The horse galloped off through the maze. Christian grabbed Minerva’s arm in panic.

“We’ll go to Conrad. He’s the Guardian, he’ll know what to do—” The great wings streamlined into the harpies’ bodies as they neared the ground, the cruel, beautiful faces stretched forward—

“Minerva—”his voice went up an octave—“please, it’ll be alright, but we need to get out of here—”

Tears welled up in her eyes again, but she lowered her slingshot and allowed him to pull her along through the maze. The harpies followed above the hedges; their wings were too wide for flight between them. They vanished in the treetops again when Christian and Minerva came out of the maze on the other side of the gardens. The horse was standing there, quivering. Minerva leaned her forehead against it and cried into its neck.

“Minerva?” Christian asked shakily.

She did not answer, but after a moment she stopped crying, wiped her eyes, and said, “Let’s go.”

They left the horse quaking in the gardens.

The harpies reappeared as they reached the edge of the Fairgrounds. Christian’s throat went dry with fear, but when they tried to dive after their prey, the beasts smacked into another invisible barrier, this one arcing over the clearing.

“What’s happened?” Christian whispered. “Why can’t they get through?”

“The spell,” Minerva said. “It’s protecting the park.”

The harpies circled, their womanly faces glaring down at the Fair as they tried to find a way to penetrate the barrier. After a few minutes, they shrieked in frustration and glided away.

“Thank God,” Christian said weakly.

Minerva rubbed her temples. “I don’t understand. They shouldn’t have been able to get into the park at all. The spell must be weakening.”

Then: “Where is Conrad?”

“Rovers,” Christian said. His legs trembled with the shock of adrenaline and exertion. “He’s with the Rovers.”

“Come on,” Minerva said. She took his hand and led him across the Fair toward the Rover caravan.


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1007 Reviews


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Sun Jul 20, 2014 7:28 pm
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TimmyJake wrote a review...



Timmy here!

This chapter was so much fun to read! Yay! It was your first true action scene that I have read of your writing, with some actual fighting in it. I would have liked to say that Christian had been very brave and fought the monsters off by himself... but that wouldn't really be the truth. I love, love the character development you still sneak in there, slipping it in small pieces to us, in-between other moments so that we don't even realize it is happening--but we are experiencing it and learning the character all the more while we read these scenes. Each scene builds your character so much more, and adds onto our mental image of who he is--not just who he looks like. :)

Her smile vanished, her pitcher went onto the ground, and her slingshot appeared from the folds of her gown


Yay Minerva! She is going to be the character that makes Christian grow. There is no one that can do things quite a perfectly as she does, and with so much charm. Every little action she does, whether in aggression or kindness, is totally collected and graceful. She is going to teach Christian a few things about bravery, and what it is like to fight.

appeared from the folds of her gown


with the long skirts of her tunic clutched


Did she change for battle? :P Aren't tunics and gowns totally different things?

held her slingshot at the ready, with a stone the size of an eagle’s egg loaded into it.


I was thinking for a long while on this, and wondering if I should mention it or not. Would the stone really be that big? I mean, an eagle's egg can be of varying size, but when you say Eagle I assume you mean BIG egg--like perhaps Golden or Bald Eagle size. That is a HUGE rock to be throwing with a slingshot, I think. Or maybe I am wrong? I dunno. I just thought it would be good to mention it, just in case. :D

Also, since harpies are like massive birds, I would think that the [I]first[I] rock would damage the animal enough to make it fall back. Just think about it: a projectile the size of a softball (considering the fact that it's an eagle egg) smashing into the harpies head, which is built like a bird's--filled with small, hollow bones. The result would be pretty hugish.

Minerva hushed him. “It wasn’t a gnome in the trees.”


Okay, so Minerva hushes him, and then she talks? That seems rather contradictory for her to tell HIM to be quiet, and then start prattling on herself. I think she could put a finger to her lips or perhaps shake her head. Some silent, but visual thing that works good for that kind of thing.

She took his hand and led him


Awwww... *wipes a tear away* They are getting too sweet. :)

They are meant to be. *nods* Yup. And nothing is gonna convince me otherwise.
~Darth Timmyjake




BluesClues says...


Heh heh. This makes me so happy.

Did she change for battle? :P Aren't tunics and gowns totally different things?


I've pretty much been using the terms interchangeably, though you're probably right. It's just, like, you know the kinds of dresses (if you want to call them that) that Roman and Greek statues of women are dressed in? That's what I'm picturing, but "dress" isn't quite the right word. "Tunic" seems closer to me. According to my Google image search, that word works, but I'll probably do more research on it to make sure when I'm done with revisions.

Oh, p.s.: This novel is in the Adopt-a-Novel club, so you could always adopt it and get prizes (or whatever it is we get) when you make it to the end, since you're reviewing it anyway!



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Sun Apr 06, 2014 3:23 pm
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Deanie says...



So the daily reviewing hasn't worked...

but I can't leave a review on this chapter because I don't see a thing to change :D

Deanie x




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Sun Mar 30, 2014 10:54 pm
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Messenger wrote a review...



Messenger here reviewing for chapter 39 and such. Well Review Days is ridiculously close and I am really stressed out but trying to concentrate. There isn't much to say about chapter 39 although I can't believe Christian has eaten so little XDDD I would go home and make a massive snack, haha, but anyway hopefully the fairies don't die, because I am really growing attached to them.

For Chapter 40 I think you could make the list take up a little less space. It gets kind of long to scroll down.

Poor Christian. He had never so much as been camping; he thought it was a good list.

This sentence is really weird. I don't even know what point-of-view you would put it in. Try changing it up a little.

The roar of the lawn mower cut through the evening air. The smell of exhaust drifted through the window. Christian wrinkled his nose and bent over his book.

That was kind of random but ok XDD

“We haven’t time for that now, my boy,” Mr. Catcher said. “We need to get you inside that park.”

Well, well, well I wasn't expecting that! Can't wait to see what happens, now that Christians kind of has team for the first time. This is getting good!

~Messenger




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Sat Mar 15, 2014 3:01 am
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BitterRosemary wrote a review...



Hey! BitterRosemary here to give a review. Let's get started.

So, first you should know that this s my first time reading one of your chapters.
You should also know that you are a fantastic writer.
I had absolutely no idea what was going on at first. I had just clicked on the link becase I needed points. But after I took the time to read this, I was amazed how quickly the story like drew me in, especially with your accurate detailing of The Hobbit (a favorite book of mine). It's the little details like thse that really make a story come alive and seem real. Well done my friend. A stranger to your writing I was simply enthralled to stble upon such a treasure. Now I must go find all the prceeding chapters. For the love of God, please keep writing!
Very well done indeed!
BitterRosemary




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Fri Mar 14, 2014 3:29 am
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Iggy wrote a review...



Why must you ask me to nitpick. Why.

NOTHING IS WRONG HERE, IT'S ALL GOOD.

Seriously, ugh, finally Liza is starting to act on her suspicions! Oooh Christian, you're gonna have to tell her sooner or later, and it looks like she's gonna need to know here in a bit. If I were her, I would totally kick his butt and make him tell me. You get him, Liza. >:(

Anyways, I just KNEW Mr. Catcher knew about the Fair Folk! You totally hinted towards it, of course, but I had to be sure, and sure I am. So now with his help, because he'll probably find a hidden pathway into the park or something, Christian will have an easier time getting into the park.

Okay, so I totally loved the whole book-binding process. Not only was it very informative (thank you) but it was something calming and peaceful to help relax Christian's mind and help him think clearly, if he thought about anything at all. Plus, it was kind of like the calm before the storm, because now he has two tagalongs, one who knows about the Fair and one who doesn't and is also insanely pissed off. xD

I want to read moreeeeee.




BluesClues says...


But not until the red alert is over, young lady!




It's hard to enjoy practical jokes when your whole life feels like one.
— Rick Riordan, The Last Olympian