Timmy here!
It seems as though everyone is trying to come up with alternative ways of saying "hello" to you, beginning the review. I might look for ways, but I kind of like my boring salutation. 
Tis tradition! That must be upheld. Always. Anyway, onto your review. Err... my review, but written for you, but by me. Um, yes. Pretend that made sense.
Erm, Christian? I have a teensy little thing to say to you, and you may not like it, but here goes. IreallythinkyouneedtotellLizabecauseshedeservestoknowaboutwhereherhusbandis. *takes breath* There. Its out of my system. Sometimes Christian is so amazing that I want him as my neighbor--as long as he brings his house along--but sometimes he needs a good spanking. By his YWS mom, perhaps? I hope he just confesses that Conrad is hurt, in the park--a place she doesn't know about. Wait. Wait. Does she know about the park? I always thought she didn't, and from what I remember of the book so far, I don't recall anything saying that she did know about it, but more hints that said she didn't. Hmm.. I guess if she did know, she would know where right to go if Conrad didn't come home. So she must have no idea.
Hmph. Conrad, not telling your own wife. Your YWS mom needs to give you a spanking, too.
“I like that you apologized to the marigolds.”
I thought that the part where Christian apologized to the marigolds was powerful, as well. And the fact that Minerva brings it up only promotes it further. That he is a compassionate and caring person--even to flowers that are going to wilt and die soon, anyway. You never skip a chance to further his character, and that just makes him so much more realistic and loveable.
No quoting here, and this isn't really a nitpick, but more a stylistic preference--one you can ignore, if you like.
I think in their dialogue, and the story throughout, you like to use the en-dash. That is what it's called, right? I have a HUGE book on English Grammar(Bleh) <.< in my room right now, and I have been reading it (sorta). But I think I forgot what its name was. Anyway, this thingy: -- Erm, it changes in Mic Word, but you get the gist of what I mean.
I love, love using those things when writing my work. I like them more than commas, even periods. They seem to spring up everywhere, almost like weeds. But I think that they can become a distraction in your work because people are not used to the in abundance. Perhaps you could weed a few of them out to make them a little more spaced out? As much as I love their usage, and how you use them, I think they were just a little bit overdone. The slightest amount.
That is all I have for nitpicks. I loved the way you told the story--just like when Conrad was telling his! It works out really well, because it is still written like a story, like she is telling it, but you aren't throwing humongous chunks of dialogue in there, acting like its completely normal. Which it may be, but looks ugly and doesn't work too well. As it is, your way of storytelling is just perfect. Just like everything else in here.
Since I was recently told by you that you are not finished adding chapters to your book, I will not say any numbers, or try to guess how many I have left. But as it is, I hope you write many more. Because this is too much fun to read.
~Darth Timmyjake
Points: 13831
Reviews: 1007
Donate