Hello Deadman!
From the first stanza, I could tell this was about a person with a gun, playing their own version of Russian Roulette, since it took so many clicks to finally reach that one bullet. And since this is about suicide and therefore a triggering topic, I ask that you please rate this 16+, so people know what they are getting into.
First off, I did not like the repetition of commentary after each unsuccessful click. After the first two, it got tedious. I mean, the reader gets it. The clicks signify an empty chamber, so that means the individual will be mad and annoyed for not being dead yet. You don't have to repeat it every time. Saying it twice gets the message across and holds that message until the click turns into a bam and the person is dead.
Second, I didn't like the last stanza. I mean, the bullet went through his/her brain, so of course, there is no afterthought. We already know that the person is happy that they are dead, so there really isn't any need to state anything else. We know that they died happily, and that it was their final goodbye. I suggest you just end the poem with a simple click and bam. It leaves a greater impact and resonance than the needless explanation. So I definitely like the ending of the first poem versus the second.
The ~ for every stanza break is distracting. I suggest removing them, but that's up to you. I had to look again to see that it was two different poems. You should use the ~ for the poem break, between the two of them, not for every stanza.
There are so many questions asked in the stanzas. They too are a bit distracting. I can understand that some of them are necessary, to keep the pace and flow, especially the grouped ones, but I suggest that next time you focus on the person. Why are they killing themselves? I don't want to be asked questions, I want to know the reason(s) behind them committing suicide. I want to know their pain, the reason for their tears, the thoughts that push them to pull the trigger again and again until it works.
Emotion. Where is the emotion? I feel some emotion, like sadness and despair, but surely there must be some doubt in there. Especially since there was so many chances for him/her to back out, to put the gun down and walk away. Don't they hesitate at all? Think, "Do I really want to do this?" Anything similar to that?
Finally, imagery. There isn't enough of it, or any at all, and a poem thrives off of imagery. It's one of the most important factors in a poem. It is the strength behind the words, the impact it's supposed to leave the reader with. I know that it would've been hard to weave some imagery into this, but I think you can do it if you tried hard enough, and try you should. It would definitely strengthen the poem.
Overall, I think this was a good poem. The emotion behind it was powerful. It was a unique idea, one I have never seen before, and it was done with a good flow, albeit choppy at some points. The overall emotion was conveyed and the impact was strong and powerful and the ending leaves the reader with a lot to think about. Nice work. 
Points: 4261
Reviews: 933
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