Young Writers Society

Heya yubbies!!!

This is Eros here to review your work!!

I read your poem "Thank God For Today". I love the main theme and the idea of the poem. Is a nice way of thanking God for all the things. I loved the style in which you wrote the poem. It has got all the ending words rhyming. It requires a great vocabulary to write the rhming words. It is a beautiful poem dedicated as a kind of thanking prayer to the Almighty God.

It was a beautiful poem and was really unique.You are writing good! Keep it up!!

Hai yubbies! I'ma try to review this, but I suck at poetry, so sorry if this isn't helpful. x)

I'm normally not a fan of AABB poetry but this was pretty good for that type of poem! It was cute and simple and held a lot of meaning in the words. The message was clear and powerful and delivers as it should: by making the reader stop and think and realize how much God has given them. How much God has given me. Thank you for reminding me. Us humans need a reminder every now and then to be thankful for what we have.

The rhymes were, as I said, cute and simple, but I feel like some of them were forced. I know you had to force them out, since this is a song and all, but I would advise that next time, you don't force them. If it doesn't want to rhyme, don't force it to. Let the words control you, not vise versa. Let them flow out of your fingertips and onto the keyboard. Forcing them to rhyme takes the focus off of your message and instead on the weird way the line sounds when it rolls of the tongue. Make sense?

Besides that, I thought the poem was wonderful and good. Clearly meant to be light and spiritual and touch the soul, as it did. Thanks for sharing. I enjoyed it very much!

Like the person said below you just need a few semi-colons
But other than that this is good
Sorta reminding Christians to thank God.
It was well written
It made sense
And everything was imaginable
I like when a writer can do that
Pure talent
Your poem was graceful and smooth
And thats what you want
So keep it up!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Hello again! A nice happy poem!
I will give you my criticism, while I still remember it. And that is punctuation. It is clear you are using it, but I think you need to re read it and establish a solid punctuation pattern, and be adventurous! Use semi colons! (Or just colons)
Now, a small HUZZAH! for the subject matter, and the message, and let me say I whole heartedly aggree with this mentallity. Keep up the good work, I really liked this!
I hope you find this helpful,
Take That You Fiend!

I love this poem also, because i'm a Christian and it speaks really loudly to me.


Seeing the bright autumn leaves,

Swinging through the summer trees.

Thank God for today, and please

Keep me busy, like the bees.



This part made me smile, because you made God with his creations and added movement that I can actually see.

Like feeling a cool spring breeze,

Watching the winter lake freeze,


This one is also awesome and it had good describing words, could use a little bit better, but it still works with the piece.



Great job. I look forward to reading more of your poems!

Hey!
I love this poem, half because I am a Christian and half because you have an amazing ability to write poetry! This is beautiful and it flows so smoothly. I think starting and ending the poem with:

Thank God for today, and please

Keep me busy, like the bees

was brilliant!
I know you probably want to hear things other than you're amazing, but I really couldn't find too much of a flaw in this poem. The imagery is superb, I see myself in this poem.
Keep up the great job can't wait to read some of your other work!
XOXO,
Rascalover

Hey yubbies, Subtle here for a review! I am personally an atheist but nonetheless I found this poem extremely beautiful and almost heart-warming in a way.The poem it self is really lovely, is nice to see this amidst what I call the depression or cynical poetry. And I like some of the comparisons you have made in is poem. Is a very simple yet positive poem, asking for guide in your life. Asking to keep your life busy and not let yourself idle, frankly I think a lot of readers can release to this. Christian or not, so that's always a bonus point with writing almost anything. Content wise, I think you have done very well on a subject like this.

So, I will make some short remarks on the general rhythm. I found it rather nice, that you kept. Steady seven beat rhythm throughout the whole poem except for one eight beat line, but that didn't really disrupt the flow. And on top of that, the rhyme works perfectly making the pome very enjpayable to read.

I liked the reptilian of the repeated two lines it really brings out the main message of this poem. To guide you through life, to thanks and to praise. The only thing I would suggest, is perhaps add in some more imagery within this poem. It seemed a bit literal, but that's only a suggestion is fine if you don't want to take it.

Overall, very enjoyable and lovely poem, yubbies. Keep up w good work!