Hello Aria 
Here I am in early July, If you receive this any earlier it means that I have died am procrastinating
I won't tell you if I liked this or not yet. So, there! 
The thing is though, that I'm not going to nit pick this that much. In all honesty I'm going to write this as more of an analysis than a review.
Main Points
His moves were followed by a pair of blue eyes
Excellent way of introducing the second character (the child). This is basically the definition of show and not tell. Wonderful
it had barely been a few hours
This is too vague.
*Edited* This was an unfinished statement, I was contemplating whether to mention it or not. Please ignore.
the child... its home... this one... mention it
A fascinating choice to continue using these terms to describe the child even though it's been revealed as a boy. The continuous use of ambiguity towards the child emphasises it's foreignness in August's house and his almost “alienation” from it. It gives us the feeling that he is trying to objectively categorise “it”.
He lifted the glass,
The constant references to August needing a glass of wine are fabulous. It indicates his discomfort at the situation, and depicts how he really has no idea what to do. Any other normal person would be seeing tho the needs of the child, feeding it, engaging it in conversation or helping it find a new home, they would most certainly not be sipping wine. August is really out of his depth here. The wine doesn't just act as an intoxication here but the actual physical motion of pouring the wine and lifting the glass acts as a distraction too. Hence, when he run out of wine he goes and distracts himself by rearranging papers. You've really built up his reluctance to communicate and interact with the boy. Wonderful job!
feel that blue glare on himself
I wouldn't use “glare” here. It implies that the boy is somewhat “angry”, which he doesn't seem to be.
”Neither does August,”
August recalls that he saved the child just hours ago right? Now he is having what I'm assuming is his first interaction with the child. So... how does it know his name? Forgive me foor being a kill joy but it just doesn't feel right. Though it's a really cute line and adds to the scene, you previously given me a sense of silence and distance between August and Lain, so I'm curious about how Lain knows August's name.
“Can Lain be English too?”
Lovely implication that Lain actually isn't English.
grateful for the way his little guest acted
This is really nit picky but, his little guest hadn't really acted at all so far. So what is August talking about? Maybe mention the fact that Lain kept his hand to himself? I think it's because the entire sentence just seems disconnected.
He couldn’t help but feel somewhat grateful for the way his little guest acted, even though it was under the influence of fear and loss which most likely hadn’t even properly hit him yet; the last he wanted were dark smudges on his things, or broken glass on the carpets.
The way you've written this makes it seem as though you will mention, how it is that the child has acted. The part in italics especially, builds the reader to expect it. The part in bold almost seems like a separate sentence. These are just suggestions but it would be much easier to read if you did break off the bold section and instead added how the child had acted. I hope that wasn't too confusing ^.^
“Then I can imagine the stories myself.”
August kept his eyes on Lain’s
You've written this in such a way that it's clear for the reader to see that what Lain had said in that paragraph had a great impact on August. We can feel that at this moment, that after moments of silence, discomfort and uncertainty, August suddenly connects with the child and that without needing to speak the both of them form a bond. Brilliant stuff.
Alas, we have reached the end. First of all, I loved this. As you can see, most of my comments are positive, so sorry if they're not all that beneficial. :/ The only thing I would say is that this does need a lot of editing. Previous reviewers have listed out nit picks and anyway I'm sure you're capable of editing this yourself. I would just say, recheck your word choice, it's usually the smaller connecting words that seem slightly out of place and also watch your “has” and “had” and make sure to put the right one in the right place.
Right from the get go you grabbed me an threw me into August's world. The amount of definition an character development you gave him within that short time was wonderful. Almost none of your sentences were wasted. Each one seemed to add to the story or add to August's character. Even the descriptions, which often destroy pace and can prove distracting, are used in such a way that they add to August's character and convey more about him. Just like in FF, you've used intrigue to capture the reader's attention for the entire way and to keep them invested in the story. Some of them may now really want to review the next chapter despite impending exams -.- Also like in FF, you managed to spin a lovely atmosphere around us readers, with your characterisation, descriptions and pacing. The fact that this is set in Italy is just <3 August mentions canals, so are we in Venice? If so, even more <3 XD
Anywas, this was pretty amazing so I'm looking forward to the fact that you'll be posting more chapters. yes, I've read chapter one, no I'm not to sure when I'll review it, though I hope it's soon.
Keep up the good work and happy writing! Silverlock
Points: 20262
Reviews: 301
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