Young Writers Society

hey there smile is here for a review

i'll start by saying that this is a very creative and quite intelligent work , i extremenly liked how you mixed all those ideas and thoughts ( nature , happiness ,seasons..) to create some wonderfull and unique poem .
i have to say that this part is my favourite , it's really an attractive imagery :

"The leaves are soft waving the wind greets,

Right under its umbrella is a world of mirth."

"You will remain across the future and seasons,
For the times ahead and waving the ticking clock;
For a life lived are spending youth with risking time,
With the old tree, I found the secrets to unlock. "

the end is powerfull , i think that mentioning the word "youth" and then its opposite "old" gave the part a nice touch ( just to let you know it's something really commun in arabic poems and i didn't think it will add a nice touch to english poems as well )
also,this part is rhymy ( clock , unlock )
as alex said i didn't get the metaphor , but really enjoyed the vivid imagery .
so if i rate your poem it deserve 9/10
GOOD WORK
keep writing

Hey there DreamWork!
This poem is very good! I don't fully understand the metaphor but I really loved the imagery and some of the creative phrases in it!
My favourite line by far is:

You're the one, who stands strong with your bare twigs,

On a snowy Christmas and a New Year countdown.

For a life lived are spending youth with risking time,

This is a wonderful poem.

"The leaves are soft waving the wind greets,

Right under its umbrella is a world of mirth."

The first lines seems like it should have a comma after "soft," but that doesn't matter. These two lines are great and really put into my mind the image of a tall oak, stretching out its branches.

"You will remain across the future and seasons,

For the times ahead and waving the ticking clock;

For a life lived are spending youth with risking time,"

I liked this descriptive mention of kids climbing the trees. Very creative. It makes the poem fun and interesting. Very good work!

Thank you DreamWork!