z

Young Writers Society


12+

Complications chapter three

by mongoose


Chapter Three

Nyota

In the shuttle…

Nyota found herself to be one of the few Cadets arriving late. Her eyes searched the shuttle desperately to find a spare seat, worryingly she couldn't seem to spy one. She made her way up the cramped aisle squishing past the soon to be cadets who were already belted in. un-expectedly an Orion girl who was unlike any of the human Cadets entirely, called out, "Here, there's a seat here!" Waving her arm rather erratically.

"Hello! I'm Gaila, Gaila U'aidat!" The Orion girl squealed excitedly, as Uhura took the seat next to the jovial girl.

"Thanks, I thought I was gonna have to wait for the next shuttle then. I'm Uhura, Nyota Uhura" Nyota replied warily, taken a back slightly by her over excited 'Hello', but grateful nonetheless. She took in the Orion's features her vibrant red hair wrapping around her shoulders in tight natural curls, contrasting against her bright green skin tone, with red lips and blue eyes; the Orion was very beautiful. Uhura was surprised to see the Orion in the Starfleet enlistment shuttle. Not to be xenophobic, but Orions generally was stereotyped as slaves of some sort to other species. Apparently 'Gaila' had higher expectations in life. She liked 'Gaila' already. "So what brings you to this part of the galaxy? You don't see many Orion's hanging around in east Africa." Uhura asked.

"Well my up-bringing wasn't the usual per say… I didn't grow up in a cave along with slaves, no. if that's what you are implying?" Gaila answered quite abruptly.

Uhura was hit with a wave of shock, she had not meant her comment to offend 'Gaila' in anyway tripping over her words she spoke again "Oh no... I wasn't... I didn't mean to offend you. I … I was just trying to make conversation, sorry" she looked at 'Gaila warily waiting for her response.

That was when Gaila screwed up her face and bit her lip, before blowing a big gush of air at Uhura in laughter "I love that reaction! Your face! You thought I was serious oh god, no I didn't take any offence I just wanted to see what you'd say" Gaila paused to let out a smaller giggle as her laughter faded into a more serious tone "And to answer your question, which I rudely ignored sorry about that, is I love the stars and the mysteries that the Galaxy is yet to reveal, and the animals are really cool here!" Gaila said with a gleeful expression.

Nyota laughed and felt a huge weight to be lifted off of her shoulders; Gaila had teased her she was not offended "Oh aha you got me I really panicked! And that is more or less my reasons for joining Starfleet as well"

The Shuttle's engines started and the soft hum could be heard, with a slight jerk the hum became a roar and they were off, shooting up into the atmosphere. Gaila and Uhura giggled with excitement. She always found shuttle rides to be exciting as they travelled high up into the atmosphere, way into to the stratosphere. The Shuttle shook with turbulence as they rose higher and higher, "Oh wow just look at that…its beautiful" Uhura remarked Gaila replied with a "hmmm" of agreement as both Cadets stared out of the window at Earth. Africa was in full view with its variations of yellows, oranges and baron lands of desert to the lush dark green of the Congo and its rain forests. From this height she could see the curvature of the Earth in all its glory.

After two hours of mid-orbit flight Nyota and Gaila fell into deep conversation; "So what will you be studying Ny?" Gaila asked she had already abbreviated Nyota's name into a nickname.

Nyota did not dislike being called 'Ny', it was a term her father had also accustomed himself to using as well. "Phonology, Advanced Xenolinguistics, Communication Level Two Engineering and Hand-to-Hand combat; you?" Nyota remarked happily, excited for her upcoming classes.

"OOH! I'm doing Advanced Xenolinguistics and Phonology too! We can be best buds in class!" Gaila exclaimed clearly the feeling of friendship that Nyota felt was mutual; "I'm also taking Biology and Maths although I am regretting Maths already" Gaila said bouncing in her seat as she did so.

"Well I can see we're going to get along just fine!" Nyota remarked before asking into her Orion friend's studies "What Languages can you speak?"

Gaila cleared her throat "I can speak: Yrevish, Orion Prime, bits of Vulcan Terran Standard and some Andorrian" she said matter of factly "what can you speak?".

"I can speak quite a few of what you speak as well mainly due to my Mother's background of intergalactic Diplomacy and bi-lingual talent I can speak: Romulan in two dialects the third I am still working on, Vulcan Swahili, Terran standard, Yrevish, Orion Prime and Andorrian" Nyota replied filled with glee that she had made a friend already.

Gaila looked shocked then replied in Yrevish, "Well, from what I know there is only you and I that can speak this, so how about it be our 'language'. And god you can speak more languages already than I have had boyfriends! Believe me I've had a lot…"

Nyota laughed and replied in Yrevish also, "Oh now I don't know about that last bit" laughing she carried on "and yeah sure why not, also I thought Yrevish was a common language?"

"No, only the slave girls of Orion, because it was a sense of privacy against their masters; I'm glad you speak it though!" Gaila added thoughtfully. Both girls squealed as the shuttle re-entered the atmosphere, causing the shuttle to shake and bounce its passengers in their seats.

Over the intercom a tinny man's voice announced "We are entering the atmosphere and should arrive at San Francisco Spaceport in 15 minutes". Nyota was silent the rest of the journey, greedily taking in the sights of America. The city of San Francisco growing as they made their descent.

She found America to be beautiful with the old, red golden gate suspension bridge spanning across the mammoth Golden gate strait. The shuttle passed under the bridge towards the Spaceport. When docked and departed, she stepped from that cramped shuttle and breathed in San Francisco, this was it, She was finally here. She spun around to smile to Gaila who was clearly, equally as excited as she was,she said her goodbyes to Gaila promising to meet up at a later date. To then go through the usual, dreary passport control.

After leaving the spaceport the Cadets were sent to a hovercoach to take them to campus, the journey was quick, but enough time for Nyota to take in some more of San Francisco's sites. 15 minutes passed and the hovercoach dropped the Cadets at the campus. On arrival the Cadets walked in line, and one by one were handed PADDs full of information, maps, timetables, teacher profiles and rules, to then be handed uniforms. The uniforms were red, tight with the Starfleet emblem placed on the high collar of the jacket. Heading for her dorm room with her bags, PADDs and new uniform, Nyota's face was alight with glee and pure exhilaration. She was here! STARFLEET she squealed in her head thinking back to the many hours she had spent by her Comm-console waiting for a reply from the academy board.

She found her room 257D on the east side of the campus facing the Golden gate bridge, she found the view from her window to be spectacular and regarded it a few moments longer before un-packing and placing her belongings in various places around the room. The room itself was small with two single beds, two desks, an adjoining bathroom and two Comm-consoles. She guessed her roommate would be arriving shortly.

Spock

Spock was pleased with his post as a professor. He had much more free time, his classes had not started yet and he had 3 days and 2.6hours until his first lecture. With his material prepared, and Cadet profiles checked he decided that he would speak to Christopher Pike. It had been 3.6months since Spock had spoken to Chris,he felt that he should ask of his progression with the Enterprise. Chris had wished to be its new Captain so Spock thought the sociable thing to do was to inquire of his 'friend's' position in the situation.

"Spock! I haven't seen you in over 3 months! How is it at the Academy?" Chris spoke before Spock could greet his former Captain; Chris's face was smiling as ever he seemed surprised at Spock's call.

"Hello Chris, indeed we have not spoken in 3.6months I am finding my position as a professor to be pleasant thank you for your inquiry. And I wished to speak to you of the Enterprise. Did your wish to be her Captain come true? I saw that the Captain had been chosen but the name has not of yet been published." Spock replied with a cool, calm expression showing no hint of pleasure that he felt. If he were human he would have returned Chris's gleaming smile, but he was Vulcan so he did not.

"Well I am glad to hear that you are enjoying yourself." Chris paused. Spock thought that Pike was going to explode on the spot his face reddened and he burst out his words "It's me! I'm her Captain! My wish certainly came true Spock! I thought they had posted the names?"

Spock felt a huge sense of relief, he had wanted Chris to be the Captain of the Enterprise. Chris was a good Captain he cared for his crew; he did not belittle them like most captains did. "I am glad you have received that Commission Chris, you of all people deserve it."

Chris's face had returned to its usual pinkish colour, "I am certainly proud for receiving it, the Enterprise." Chris basked in thought "You know, I even get to launch her from Earth, she's the largest ship to be constructed on Earth and I'm the one to launch her I can't wait, only 4 years!" Again Spock noted how the human officers from Starfleet favoured the Enterprise over any of the other ships in the fleet, just because the ship was being built on Earth. Illogical.

The conversation continued for a further Thirty-two minutes, they discussed further of the Enterprise until Chris said his goodbyes and Spock offered the Vulcan salute.

Spock shut off his Comm-console and walked to his Asenoi. He found meditation to come easily to him within Fifteen seconds he was in a complete trance focusing un-consciously on his and Sarek's relationship. The subject was quite distressing, but he rather focus upon it within a state of meditation than when fully conscious. He thought that his father had over reacted and that he should have accepted his choice. however, his cool logical side thought he should have accepted his father's choice and attended the V-tosh Science academy. After Two hours and twenty-six minutes Spock came round. He felt less tense, his thoughts of his father were not as clouded by emotion as they were previously but he still disliked his father.


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205 Reviews


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205 Reviews


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Reviews: 205

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Sun Jan 26, 2014 4:01 am
AEChronicle wrote a review...



I've now noticed that you are essentially following the story line of the new Star Trek movie. This isn't a bad thing, as long as you stay true to the characters, but keep adding your own interesting things to make it original and not just a plagiarism. You've done a good job at making this worth the read.

There's not a lot that I have to say that I haven't all ready said. You write fairly well, you keep things interesting, and the story flows consistently. There is one thing, though,

"Spock shut off his Comm-console and walked to his Asenoi. He found meditation to come easily to him within Fifteen seconds he was in a complete trance focusing un-consciously on his and Sarek's relationship. The subject was quite distressing, but he rather focus upon it within a state of meditation than when fully conscious. He thought that his father had over reacted and that he should have accepted his choice. however, his cool logical side thought he should have accepted his father's choice and attended the V-tosh Science academy. After Two hours and twenty-six minutes Spock came round. He felt less tense, his thoughts of his father were not as clouded by emotion as they were previously but he still disliked his father."

Whenever you start to do some explanations, you start to go into the "and then, and then, and then, and then," and the "and he, and he, and he, and he," modes. This slows things down and causes the reader to become uninterested. My suggestion would be to try to change some of this into a more poetic type of thing. Rather than just saying,

"He thought that his father had over reacted and that he should have accepted his choice. however, his cool logical side thought he should have accepted his father's choice and attended the V-tosh Science academy."

You might try changing some of the "he...he...he" into more of a first person sort of view. Rather than just saying, "this is what he thought" actually put in his thoughts, to break things up.

Thank you mongoose!




mongoose says...


Thankyou, i've read through all of the reviews that you've posted and thankyou again, i'm going to siv through my works and sort them out, btw you've missed a chapter i think it might be because i labelled it differently but chapter one is under the name, Illogical decisions.




Follow your passion, stay true to yourself, never follow someone else’s path unless you’re in the woods and you’re lost and you see a path then by all means you should follow that.
— Ellen Degeneres