Young Writers Society

Timmyjake to give you a review! Did this make it on literary spotlight? It should have. Its awesome!

I think it tells a story that a lot of people can relate to. To me, it seems to be the fear of the unknown that is connected with a lot of it. She wants to live her life, be loved, and then face her fears, but not alone. Truly epic.

I noticed that when you posted this, it was under lyrical as well. It would make an awesome song! All you have to do is make a refrain for it!!

This was beautiful. I am sorry. I had meant to come here to critique it and even started this to try and do that, but I find no fault. It was beautiful.
Happy Review day!
~Timmyjake

Hello there!
Rachel here to review.

I like this piece you've written here!
This is some deep stuff you've written.
I can't find anything wrong with this. You've captured some deep, raw emotion in your work, as well as great passion. I like the style you've given this; listing everything that scares you-- the deep, hard-to-deal-with things. Great job on this; I have no advice for you!

Keep writing!
-Rae

Dang this is just plain amazing. I really have no words. It's just so great. I really loved it. My favorite part is:

"I'm afraid of dancing in the rain,

To feel the cold drops hit my skin,

to let the rage out and the calm in.

I'm afraid of dying, of meeting Death,

of giving away my last breath."

Really I loved the whole thing, but this part spoke to me. I'm definitely going to read more of your work. Thanks for sharing this, I'm glad I read it.

-Haley.

Dang, this is some deep stuff. I love how you explained your fear. It made me fear my death too. To be honest, I don't really read or even write poetry but when I do read it there is not a poem that jumps off the page for me. This one did though. It really made me think about myself and the way I experience my own fears. I don't have to criticize you because your work is amazing. So, your poem is amazing and there is no way I could criticize it any way. I LOVED IT.

I liked this poem, I feel like the subject matter is easily relateable and that is always a great basis for any kind of literature. I also liked the structured rhyming scheme and how it was consistent. But the very last line, I feel like using the word droll was kind of a cop-out. I thought it didn't fit with the vocab you were using and it seemed out of place even though it did fit with the rhyming scheme. You don't have to change if you don't want but if this were my poem I would. But it's not my poem, it's your poem and you can leave it in if you want, the whole thing will still be good