*This is an expository writing piece.
The time has finally arrived, my pupil, for me to release my valuable information on avoiding the wrath of your parents, particularly while sneaking to your room past your bedtime. I have chosen you to learn my ingenious strategies on this matter that can only be learned through years of trial-and-error study (and there was a fair share of error), or from me, your very own Yoda of sorts. In order to evade my parents, along with the dangers hiding in the nighttime shadows, I have developed a particular method as follows:
This first step is critical. You must remember to investigate the exact path you will take through your house to your destination with minimal creaks, and mark your path with inconspicuous pieces of clear tape before the expedition while your parents are gone working and whatnot. This will diminish the fear and suspense that comes before each step, wondering if the treacherous wooden planks will squeak.
Now for the fun part. Before beginning this process it is imperative you remove all footwear, even socks (you wouldn’t want to slip and fall and break a bone and end up going to the hospital), and store them in a well-hidden area. Next, locate the first piece of tape and begin following the “yellow brick road” you made for yourself, so to speak. Lift your knees high and make tyrannosaurus-like gestures with your arms. The more exaggerated the better. This will give you more time to plan your next step as your foot begins higher in the air. Use a slow-foot-placement method, beginning with the big toe and rolling through the ball of the foot, but do not place the heel on the floor. This will make minimal noise. Also, as you are creeping along, AVOID THE DOG AT ALL COSTS. If you so much as place your foot to close to the dog the whole operation is jeopardized. Your dog will begin to bark and your parents will come rushing out into the hallway and ground you until you’re thirty, and you won’t go to college. Then, because of your lack of knowledge and life experiences, you will not be able to get a job and food and shelter, and you will die of starvation. And, if possible, steer clear of any dark corners that could house monsters. Screaming will land you in the aforementioned situation as well.
When you reach your room, your job is not done. The door must be closed with very precise movements. Wrap your fingers gently and fully about the handle and place a hand on the door, pulling the knob towards you while using your other hand to push the door into the frame, giving you time to make less noise and to control your movements. Once the door has reached the frame, a choice must be made. If you are aware your door is rather creaky when pushed completely closed in normal circumstances, twists the knob and continue the described process. If it is fairly new and the doorframe fits perfectly, I recommend cutting your losses and shoving it closed. If something goes wrong and your parents wake up, you are in a good position to turn off the lights and jump in bed quickly, and pretend you are asleep. If they come in, DO NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES, LET ON THAT YOU ARE AWAKE. I don’t want to give you all this information for nothing. Once you have made it into bed and are safely under the covers, your mission is complete. Congratulations.
So please do try to follow each step correctly and obtain the desired result, my novice, if not for yourself, then for the sake of my pride.
Points:
Time spent:
Canary word: Present
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125,005 Literary Works • 672,800 Reviews
This story was funny. And brought a smile to my face. This however, would been useless when I was a teen. My dad was always one step ahead. He would always check up on me at random times at night past my bedtime. I guess he just assumed I would sneak out like normal teens. So moral of the story... they always know! (No matter how good you are at sneaking) This was a awesome read. Keep writing.
Shalie
Hey Korlix here for a review.
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I think what we have here is a sense of incredible experience passed on precisely to withstand the test of time. Overall, there is no part in this story that in my opinion, should have been written any differently then it is. Chapeau to you.
On a side note, personally i believe socks soften the blow on the creaking wood and also avoid the cracking of bones on the floor, but i suppose it comes down to preferences
Congratulations to a descriptive, humorous story. I sincerely hope this will become a series... (Ideas could be asked from the community)
Here are some random suggestions that popped to mind:
-How to lie effectively towards your friends
-How to make your parents believe that you are studying, when you are really doing something fun
-How to make your parents buy you something you want
Accidentally submitted it twice... Do not know how to delete :S.
Ok, dude, this is plain mastery. You must have brilliant talent, considering you're on the front page and have only been on a couple days! Good job! *Applause and more applause*
This is a very humorous piece, which is seldom found on YWS, since we're all moody teanagers XD. I just love how you describe the exact motion of your foot gently hitting the ground, and the way to close your door precisely. But what I love most is how you must place clear tape along your path in the beginning of your piece! This is wonderful and fills me with awe. I like how you consistently give little pieces of advise that make you laugh and how you are so....active in your writing, such as all caps and things. This whole piece makes me laugh and want to try it. I especially like the beginning in how you must walk very quietly with your arms about to make "tryannosaurus-like gestures". This made me literally laugh out loud and cause every one in the room to look at me weird. XD. Anyway, I didn't find any spelling errors or things so good job on that. This piece was remarkable, a little spark of genius, so good job and keep writing! I can't wait to see what you have written next!
~Racket
Very helpful and funny. Great job, and great subject matter. I like the part with the monsters hidden in the corners. ^^
Hi there! Welcome to YWS! I am here to review your work. I was rather reluctant on reading it because I am not very good at reading 'How to' writings. I found this rather laughable and not exactly a project hard to read. On to the review.
Grammar is essential in writings because I guess it shows your knowledge in the writing arts. I don't really care for it but I can show you something I saw that I am pretty sure goes under this category. ~If you are aware your door is rather creaky when pushed completely closed in normal circumstances, twists the knob and continue the described process.~ In this you said ~twists the knob~ when it should be ~twist the knob~
The flow is also essential in a good story, or humorous tutorial in this case. To me it feels sorta choppy. It doesn't flow as smoothly as it could. Most people have issues with that at first but it can easily be fixed.
Well this is the end of the review. I do have to say two things. Why would your light be on if you weren't home if you want your parents to think you are asleep? Also it would be a lot easier sneaking in through your bedroom window. Maybe you can make a "How to break into your bedroom through the window edition" along with this. Good job on this and keep writing!
~lost
Deadman here to review! First off I'd like to say welcome to YWS, and I hope your finding this place suitable. Next, this piece was just great to me. I loved the fact that you took something that doesn't happen much for the younger generations and made this. I have had my fair share of sneaking in past curfew, and this is almost the same way I would do it. You where more than correct to put this under the genre of humor. Now time to get to the nitty gritty.
It flows kinda funny to me throughout most of the piece, and especially the beginning. I'm not finding too much wrong in the sense of grammar, but it just sounds funky. (I'm not a grammar buff someone else will probably come along and pick that up for me.) When I read a story I read it aloud to myself, and if I find myself stumbling on areas that means something is generally wrong. (Or my dyslexia is acting up.) However, at this time I'm just seeing flow issues. I would go back and re-read this aloud to myself if I were you.
"I have chosen you to learn my ingenious strategies on this matter that can only be learned through years of trial-and-error study" I personally would split this into two smaller sentences, because there is no break or pause between two ideas. I would put a period after matter and change the next part a little. "I have chosen you to learn my ingenious strategies on this matter. These strategies can only be learned through years of trial-and-error study" It is kind of a long sentence in the first place so breaking it up might make it flow better and look better. So try and play around with that.
"And, if possible, steer clear of any dark corners that could house monsters." Oh, well you started the sentence with and. This is never recommended, but can be done. I personally advise against doing that, but if I were you I would just get rid of the and.
The part about the monsters seemed a little out of place, but it was kind of humorous.
"position to turn off the lights and jump in bed " Whoa! I don't know about you, but when I sneak in all lights stay off. If he was out past his bed time, why would his light be on? It should have been off, and correct me if I'm wrong, but I don't recall him mentioning turning it on. Watch out for stuff like that.
That's about all I could come up with. I loved the story. The subject was perfect, and something I was very familiar with. My only real recommendation would be to re-read it, and if possible re-read it aloud. Reading it out loud helps a lot in catching mistakes. The piece was written very will, and I hope to see more like this from you. I hope you're enjoying YWS, and I wish you the best.
Cheers,
Deadman XD