Ring around the roses
a pocket full of posies
Ashes, ashes, we all fall down.
I 'member the songs my mommy used to sing me, before the bad men came and took me away from my room, my bed, and my daddy. Now I'm in a white square, and I can't see daddy anymore. But mommy is still here, and she never goes away. I like that. I'd be lonely without my mommy.
What else do you remember sweetie?
I 'member that mommy had to go away for a little while. After the fire. The fire was so pretty but it hurt my hands. I liked it. I missed mommy, but I liked the fire.
Is that why you started it?
Huh?
Annie, is that why you started the fire?
What's that mean?
Annie, you took a match and lit the curtains on fire. That fire almost burnt down your house, and killed your mother. Did you start it because you like it?
What does killed mean?
It means that your mother is gone, and she's never coming back.
Liar.
No, Annie. Your mother is gone. You don't see her, you don't talk to her. She is never coming back, and you need to stop saying that she has when she hasn't.
NO! NOOOO!! Mommy is here, she's sitting next to me! She talks to me, she does, she does!
Annie, you are almost sixteen, you need to stop. Annie, stop! Guards, guards! Take her back to her room.
I don't wanna go back, I don't wanna go back!!
~~~
I ended the recording and sighed. That girl had killed her own mother and even now, after nearly ten years can't even remember. She is forever stuck in the mindset of those days, and she has gone so far to claim that she can still see her mother. I'm not sure if this is a cry for attention or if she really is as crazy as the last psychologist she had says. I don't know how to help her. And to be honest, I'm not sure that I want to.
Our next session was horrible. She refused to talk and all she did was write in her journal, refusing to even look my way.
~~~
The bad men came and took me away from the pretty lady. I screamed for a while, but mommy helped me stop. She's such a nice mommy. I like it when we sing together.
One, two buckle my shoe,
three four shut the door,
five, six, pick up sticks,
seven, eight, lay them straight
I am a good girl. When I was littler I listened to mommy's songs and did just what they told me to do. "Ashes, ashes." "Pick up sticks, lay them straight." All I did was listen to mommy. I'm not a bad girl for that. And mommy isn't gone, she's right here next to me. She needs a bath, and some new clothes, but she's still be-u-ti-ful. I'm happy. I'd be happier with daddy too, but he's not coming for a while mommy says. That's okay, I can wait.
London bridge is falling down, falling down,
London bridge is falling down, my fair lady.
I read this story with high expectations from the title. Your story exceeded my expectation by a lot. A LOT. This is probably the most captivating story I've read so far. I got lost in it and when it ended, I got that what-am-I-supposed-to-do-with-my-life-now feeling that I usually only get after finishing a TV series. Good job. It was enthralling. 
Hey there!! Laura here to review!
So I am going to be completely honest...this story was really creep. And I felt like I was in the mind of a psychopath. So very good job with that!! I did not find much problem with this piece. But I must yell at you. MAKE ANOTHER EXERT OF IT!! God. I want to know more!! This is a good piece and I want to know more about what happened. I do have a question though o.O
You skipped from the girl to her psychologist? But why did you not ever go back to that person? That is why I want you to write more, so we can get more information and because I would actually sit here and read it and not get bored of it. I know a lot of people say that long stories get boring but if you read a short stories of established writers it isn't half a page....and I am rambling...sorry:/
Another thing, you had a few spelling errors, not noticeable, I only noticed because I'm a nit picker when I read.
But other than that, this was a fantastic piece and I apologize for yelling at you. Have a fantastic day(:
~Laura
Wow, this is such a creepy story (in a good way!). I couldn't stop reading it. I liked how you didn't over write this. You gave just enough information in bits and pieces for the reader to put everything together. I loved this.
let me ask you, are you or have you ever been a Korn fan? because I think you've done a really good job of capturing the creepy atmosphere of JD's vocals in that song. the hidden dangers of childhood are a prevalent theme in their early work, this song and album in particular and that theme is present here as well. I especially liked Annie's voice, a sixteen year old who talks like a six year old. delightfully disturbing.
my only major concern with this story was the structure. the bold, italics and changing voice all thrown together can be a bit confusing. consider turning this into a scrapbook story, a collection of documents and journal entries from the different characters assembled to form a coherent plot about Annie and her illness. the section in which Annie's Doctor is narrating would definitely benefit from this type of change, as it stands right now it seems a bit awkward the way it shifts perspective. consider including a note, letter or something written by Annie's mother or father to give the reader a better understanding of their relationship.
that's about all I've got. great story.
Really, really good.
A very real and possible situation I think. This girl can't handle the pain of losing her parents so she traps herself in a world where she never grows up and is with her mother forever. I have talked with some of my class mates about what insanity is and we pretty much all agree that insanity is knowing too much. This girl was too young and innocent to experience the pain of loss and she fell into a disillusion of a never changing world.
It's sad, but it happens. When we come to certain conclusions or refuse to conclude that something happened in the first place, we go to a world where are actions are just and right. It saddens me to know there are people like this in the world.
And you did a fantastic job of capturing the very meaning of insanity in this girls life. Bravo to you.
Yet again you amaze me with your writing talent @KnightTeen! This piece was so creepy yet interesting. It had my attention at every word. I could really imagine Annie, and in a way I kind of felt for her. The psychologists and whoever that other person was ( a police officer, I presume) were being really mean to her.
The way Annie describes her mother was just plain creepy. And the end was even creepier. She took the songs literally. It made me wonder: was Annie insane before or after she started the fire? And I guess that's up for me to decide, eh?
Good job, yo!
Hey, Korlix here for a review 
Quiet impressed with the general idea flowing here. A very nice contrast from childhood songs in comparison with their actual meaning. Also an interesting insight given into the thought process of the girl. (Btw Annie playing with fire? League of Legends reference here? And yes i am an active lol gamer 
. )
There is one stick in the mud that i might have picked up wrong, in this part:
Annie, you took a match and lit the curtains on fire. That fire almost burnt down you house, and killed your mother. Did you start it because you like it?
What does dead mean?
I didn't seem to pick up her seemingly spontaneous question for the meaning of a word that wasn't even mentioned in the question. Intentional or accidental?
Apart from that, nice concept but caught a little bit short... would have been nice to see what might have followed.
Okay then...... Well I am here to review your wonderfully disturbing piece. This is a piece where you read, sit there, and wonder what the heck just died in your childhood. This is good, very good.
Why did the mom want the child to burn down the house? Is she crazy or did the girl misinterpret her mother's words.
You misspelled something in the beginning. You put ~you house~ when it should be your house.
Good job!
Wow, this is really spooky but it's well written. It gives a clear image of what's going on and it flows nicely. Your slight use of vernacular in the language ('member, etc.) also adds a lot of life to your character. I'm left wondering if the spirit with that girl is actually her mother or not? I don't figure a mother would want her child to actually burn a house down.
There's a couple grammatical things near the end, a misspelled word and you used "to" where "too" should've been.
Otherwise, this was a great piece! Good job.
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