Young Writers Society

Yo!!!!!!!

What a great piece of poetry/prose you have here. It is short, simple and to the points and I love works like that. Works that don't faff about with discriptions and stuff, while that is good too, sometimes you just need to read something which is to the point. A lot of writers forget this, they believe that you need to put in a lot of figurative and descriptive language to make it more interesting, but sometimes, the simpler the piece the better it is.

I really like the meaning behind this, how a person is feeling sorry and quilty for acting and feeling a certain way, and the blame themselves. There is also a feeling that they are sad that they are like that, but also sad that they've hurt somebody else.

My favourite line was the last line
"I'm sorry for being sorry'
It reminds me a bit of the part in the movie "10 things I hate about you" where Katarina is reciting the poem and she says something like "I hate the way I don't hate you, not even a little bit, not even at all', something along those lines.
I don't know why but it just did. It's a good film by the way, if you haven't seen it.

Anyway, back on topic. The reason I love that line is because this person already feels terrible for everything they have done and now they feel extra bad and sorry for feeling sorry, and that just really upsets me.

You don't have any grammar mistakes or anything so good job on that.
Overall, you have written a really good prose/poem and you should keep writing.
Nargles xxx

Heya, sbitonti! A short but to-the-point piece - I like it. Like modern, my favorite line is also "I've become a victim of life." That is a very strong sentence, and I think that is the center-point and focus of this piece. Definitely prose, in my opinion. It's a little short; perhaps too short, but that's up for you to decide. It could certainly be elaborated on if you felt the need. Feel free to PM me if you have any questions!

-FireFox

short and simple. but at the same time deep , sometimes writers forget that things don't need to be long to be meaningful. But this states how a lot of us feel .i especially like the line "I've become a victim of life" the only thing i would change is you use the transition word "and' a lot, its very repetitive but besides that i think this is a great poem(:check out some of mine if you have the time.

-modern