AN: Requested by HighTop. I'm not novelizing the music video.
Drink the wine, my darling, you said
Take your time, consume all of it
"Come on Connie! It's just one drink, it won't hurt. Just take a sip. Don't be hasty." I looked into the eyes of my beloved twin sister Catherine. We were identical in everything but our manner of dress and speech. She always did prefer to speak more quickly and with a modern tone that I dared not use. It may be the 1920's but that is no reason to act like a common flapper. She was attempting to hand me a glass in the middle of our pantry, which she had dragged me into minutes earlier.
"I could not possibly! Why, the discovery of Dr. Sullivan suggests that the consumption of alcohol during a pregnancy can harm, or even kill the baby while he or she is still in development! Richard and I have been attempting to have a child for so long, I dare not do anything to risk losing what might possibly be our only chance. We've had such a bad time lately, and I think that the baby will turn it all around."
"Oh, Con! Don't be such a prude! One sip isn't going to do you any harm. The good Doctor made one little discovery among prison inmates. Your constitution is much stronger then theirs, no doubt. Besides, your announcing you news to everyone, including your wayward husband in only a few minutes. I see you shaking in your shoes. This will help calm you down." She smiled at me in a such a reassuring way that I found myself agreeing with her.
"One sip, then." Her eyes widened in glee, and she handed me the goblet.
But the roses were only to drain my inspiration
The promises were spoiled before they left your lips and...
"It almost smells like rose water." I murmured as I raised the drink to my lips, sipping slowly. "I still haven't decided when I'm going to tell them, I................."
I felt myself trail off into silence as I dropped the goblet. It struck the floor and shattered into millions of tiny crystals. "Cathy," I whimpered as I felt a sudden, blinding pain shoot across my abdomen. "What is wrong with me?"
She stood next to me and framed my face with her hands. Kissing me softly, she leaned over to hiss in my ear.
"Richard will never love you. He loves me. But I can't have him, because he married you. So you don't get to have a quick fix baby. You don't get to have what I should have. That creates a problem. A problem that, thanks to me, no longer exists. "
I felt my knees buckle and I hit the floor with a resounding thud. She stepped over me, and without a glance back calmly stated, "What I slipped into your drink wasn't exactly legal. In about two minutes, you are going to pass out. And when you wake up, you will have no remembrance of the past twenty-four hours. Everything will be as it should be"
She shut off the light, and closed the door behind her as she exited. I began to sob as I felt the life flowing out of me and the darkness approaching, but no matter how hard I tried, I could not fight it.
It closed over me.
I breathe you in again just to feel you
Underneath my skin, holding on to
The sweet escape is always laced with a familiar taste of poison
"Connie, you must stop this at once. You're making a scene. Put down the drink. Confound it Connie, put it down!"
I think that my husband is screaming at me again, but I'm already to far gone to care. I lost the one thing that could have saved me and Richard. It won't be long now until I lose him to. Drink is the only way that the pain goes away, and so now you never find me without a bottle of the stuff that I once regarded as poison in my hand. The taste is so familiar now, and I miss the burn that it used to give me.
"Connie! We are going home now. I don't know why I thought that I could bring you out tonight."
He bustled me out into the hall, shoved my cape onto my bare shoulders, and practically carried me into the car.
"Le' me guessssss." I slurred, "If ya had jus' listed to yer mother an married a nisssse, Cath~o~lic gurl, you wouldn't be the laughingstock o' the city? Is' alright, Richie. I hat...te ya to."
The rest of the drive was made in silence.
I tell myself that you're no good for me
I wish you well, but desire never leaves
I could fight this til the end
But maybe I don't want to win
I can't take it anymore. The disgusted looks, the whispers on the street, hell! The whispers in my own house. She's crazy, that girl. Killed her own baby. Good-for-nothing drunken wench.
It's too much. I keep going to the bottle. I thought that I could stop, but I can't. Not for my husband or my sister, or even myself. They're right, I'm crazy. Maybe I did try to kill my baby. I don't care anymore. I'm done.
I don't wanna be saved, I don't wanna be sober
I want you on my mind, in my dreams behind these eyes
And I won't wake up, no not this time.
I'm sorry, Cathy, Richard. For everything.
I folded the note in half and laid it on the bureau. I had visited a local apothecary earlier, making a rather illegal purchase. By the time the authorities traced anything back to me it would be to late. I'd be dead.
I withdrew the vial from my handbag, and reached for my favorite scotch from the liquor cabinet. Pouring myself a glass, I mixed the contents of the vial with the liquid. The powder dissolved instantly, like the man said it would. Quick and painless was what I had asked for. I prayed he hadn't lied.
Here's to you, baby. Momma's so sorry.
I downed the shot.
A familiar taste of poison