I have been trapped, trapped for so long by the white walls. So instead of remaining trapped, I create worlds.
In my realities, I am whatever and whomever I want to be. I am a pirate, an adventurer, an explorer, a sorceress, a dragon, a queen. I travel my realms again and again, sometimes by sea, other times by air. Each time something new and exciting happening.
I board another ship and stage a mutiny; I discover a magnificent Egyptian tomb or an underwater palace. I swim with sharks and face down danger on a daily basis. I can visit all of the places I have only heard of and can never visit, can only dream about.
In my universes, I am God. No one makes a move unless I tell them to, and the only people who ever get hurt are the one that I command to get hurt. If something goes wrong, I can rewrite it, or simply start all over again, because I am the master in my creations.
I have been trapped, trapped for so long by the padded white walls and the jacket that pins my arms to my chest. So instead of remaining trapped, I create worlds.
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Canary word: Present
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138,443 Literary Works • 672,121 Reviews
This is really good, i love the imagination in it. I would love to see it as a longer story, put into more detail on these worlds and the story beind them. I love the idea behind this, as you can really throw the net out and draw in anything to build around. It's different, and I like it.
Though I agreee with @KnightTeen with the fact that you need a different word other than "worlds" as it gets too repetitive.
Overall, I really enjoyed reading this piece of text and hope the review helps a bit. Keep up the good work!
0rki3
I think that this is very good. I don't know what exactly to call it, but I like it.
The only thing is, I think that you should find a synonym for "worlds" and not use the word so much. This kind of repetition so close together makes it look like something went wrong with your copy/paste tool. The same thing applies to the word, "create". While not used a lot like the aforementioned, "worlds," it is used more than once. I think you should replace it with another word.
This is why I write. I could never put it into words, but you have. Thank you.
KT
Knight Dragon, here to bestow my 350th review upon you. Congratulations!
Technical:
You need to pick one of those two verbs and go with it. I think you might have had "am can be" because you hadn't decided between the two and didn't go back and edit it out, but it's there.
I think you meant "again and again", not "again and aging." If you did mean the latter, then you need to explain it.
Um, I think you had an auto-correct moment there. Did you really mean "pope" or were you going for "people"?
Your "o" in "to" got dropped there.
Hope this helps!