Young Writers Society

Hi dear Skydreamer!!

This is Eros here to review your work!!

First of all let me tell you one thing that I love to play piano.Anyways, I think you used to hear the notes of the piano of a man when you sat in a classroom of your school. The following lines suggests this:

"The melody rises to me as I'm sitting on my seat.
The teacher droning on and on,
while the sounds swim next to me."

You have neither seen the man and nor the man has seen you. But still the piano notes which srikes your ears have taught you something about the life. The whole poem is deeep in the meaning. It is beautifully composed.

The stanza:

"He brings his soul his very being,
into to the world of the unseen.
I try to listen, yet I cannot grasp,
all of what he has to say."

tells us that the man played the piano with all all his heart and soul. I loved to read this particular Stanza.

It is a nice poem and I loved reading it for its huge meaning and the easy language it had.

You are doing great!
Keep writing more stuff!!

Hello! :3 Today, I'll be reviewing this poem of yours!

Okay, to begin with, I feel as though some were uniquely longer or shorter than others. This sort of ruins the flow and rhythm. Only the special areas, like the first stanza or the last stanza should be different. Otherwise, it certainly seems strange.

I also don't understand why this Piano Man is so special. The meaning is hard to discover, and it is hard to uncover.

There was a man down by 55th street,

The teacher droning on and on,

A mixture of pain and happiness,

a mixture of love and war.

I try to listen, yet I cannot grasp,

all of what he has to say.

PeanutPhoebe, here for a review!! First off, you did really good with formatting. I know some people have a lot of trouble with that, so it's good to see not everyone does. I like the way you spit up the stanzas, that was nice. The middle three stanzas were a little confusing, because you had been talking about the teacher in the end of the second stanza, and that's who I thought you were talking about in those three middle ones. Then I was like, "What? I thought this was about the Piano Man!!" So at first those really messed me up, until I understood what you meant. Really love the simple yet descriptive words.

" The sound of a life

that is steady and sweet,

the sound of a life

that was heavy and beat,

the sound of a life

that came only to me."

That verse was my favorite!! The second to last stanza messed me up a little with the beat change, but that's okay. Great job, and keep writing!!

Lady Celestia, the Golden Knight.

Hi there, thewritersdream! Nite here to review for the Flaming Keys this fine Review Day!

Now, first off, you do realize that the title is going to make most people's minds jump straight to Billy Joel, right? As a rule, I think it's best to avoid using really famous titles if you can, since it invites comparisons and you want your work to be judged on its own merits.

Now, on to the piece.

A mixture of pain and happiness,

a mixture of love and war.

But sometimes I doubt myself,

I doubt what I hear.

Because no one else picks it up,

no one else can hear.

into to the world of the unseen.

Hey, Nargles to review for you!

I lik this poem, it is sweet and nice and good.
You have a really heartwarming story here and you manage to capture the warmth beautifully.
The way you describe the Piano Man and the personas relationship is really well done.

One thing I will criticise is the rhyme, now I know that it doesn't have to rhyme, but you have a poem that feels as if it should rhyme. The last stanza does rhyme and bits and pieces of other stanzas. I feel as if it should have more of a rhyme scheme.

Apart from that it was a good poem and I really enjoyed it.

Keep writing
Nargles xx