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A Piano Man

by Skydreamer


There was a man down by 55th street,

he had a piano.


I knew nothing else about the man 'cept,

he played that piano.


The melody rises to me as I'm sitting on my seat.

The teacher droning on and on,

while the sounds swim next to me.


I hear a lot of things in his voice,

things I never heard before.


A mixture of pain and happiness,

a mixture of love and war.


But sometimes I doubt myself,

I doubt what I hear.


Because no one else picks it up,

no one else can hear.


He brings his soul his very being,

into to the world of the unseen.

I try to listen, yet I cannot grasp,

all of what he has to say.


And when he stops his playing,

I feel he's stopped my day.


For all the notes and all the tunes,

I have heard in all my life

can never beat the truth that comes

from the Piano Man's piano.


The sound of a life

that is steady and sweet,

the sound of a life

that was heavy and beat,

the sound of a life

that came only to me.


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405 Reviews


Points: 436
Reviews: 405

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Sun May 31, 2015 9:43 pm
Eros wrote a review...



Hi dear Skydreamer!!

This is Eros here to review your work!!

First of all let me tell you one thing that I love to play piano.Anyways, I think you used to hear the notes of the piano of a man when you sat in a classroom of your school. The following lines suggests this:

"The melody rises to me as I'm sitting on my seat.
The teacher droning on and on,
while the sounds swim next to me."

You have neither seen the man and nor the man has seen you. But still the piano notes which srikes your ears have taught you something about the life. The whole poem is deeep in the meaning. It is beautifully composed.

The stanza:

"He brings his soul his very being,
into to the world of the unseen.
I try to listen, yet I cannot grasp,
all of what he has to say."

tells us that the man played the piano with all all his heart and soul. I loved to read this particular Stanza.

It is a nice poem and I loved reading it for its huge meaning and the easy language it had.

You are doing great!
Keep writing more stuff!!




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103 Reviews


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Reviews: 103

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Sun Nov 24, 2013 12:00 am
KittyCatMeow wrote a review...



Hello! :3 Today, I'll be reviewing this poem of yours!

Okay, to begin with, I feel as though some were uniquely longer or shorter than others. This sort of ruins the flow and rhythm. Only the special areas, like the first stanza or the last stanza should be different. Otherwise, it certainly seems strange.

I also don't understand why this Piano Man is so special. The meaning is hard to discover, and it is hard to uncover.

There was a man down by 55th street,


Okay, this doesn't make sense with -

The teacher droning on and on,


The piece first says that the man was down by 55th street, but now it seems like we're in the classroom. There should either be more information, less information, or delete something in there.

A mixture of pain and happiness,

a mixture of love and war.


So... random. What does the poem mean by this? Why is it such a mixture? Maybe if it was added two more lines to explain, I would understand better.

I try to listen, yet I cannot grasp,

all of what he has to say.


Now this poem is saying that it can't grasp what he has to "say". What does this mean? Does it mean that he has a meaning or something deeper or maybe shallower. Help me out on this.

Overall, this poem had a lot of potential, but I just didn't see much of it going on. It threw out excessive amounts of information that was not necessary at all, only creating more confusion, and it also made the entire thing scatter.

It seems as if you didn't put a lot of effort or thought into it. Although, I liked the last stanza. It closed the poem simply, so hey, I know that you tried!

Keep writing! ;)

~Kitty




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187 Reviews


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Sun Oct 27, 2013 6:43 pm
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PeanutPhoebe wrote a review...



PeanutPhoebe, here for a review!! First off, you did really good with formatting. I know some people have a lot of trouble with that, so it's good to see not everyone does. I like the way you spit up the stanzas, that was nice. The middle three stanzas were a little confusing, because you had been talking about the teacher in the end of the second stanza, and that's who I thought you were talking about in those three middle ones. Then I was like, "What? I thought this was about the Piano Man!!" So at first those really messed me up, until I understood what you meant. Really love the simple yet descriptive words.

" The sound of a life

that is steady and sweet,

the sound of a life

that was heavy and beat,

the sound of a life

that came only to me."

That verse was my favorite!! The second to last stanza messed me up a little with the beat change, but that's okay. Great job, and keep writing!!

Lady Celestia, the Golden Knight.




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Sun Oct 27, 2013 1:47 am
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niteowl wrote a review...



Hi there, thewritersdream! Nite here to review for the Flaming Keys this fine Review Day!

Now, first off, you do realize that the title is going to make most people's minds jump straight to Billy Joel, right? As a rule, I think it's best to avoid using really famous titles if you can, since it invites comparisons and you want your work to be judged on its own merits.

Now, on to the piece.

A mixture of pain and happiness,

a mixture of love and war.


The repetition of "mixture" so close together doesn't sit well with me. Repetition can be effective, but sometimes it feels like too much. I think a synonym like "blending" would work, or check out a thesaurus to find a new word.

But sometimes I doubt myself,

I doubt what I hear.

Because no one else picks it up,

no one else can hear.


Again, rhyming a word with itself feels a bit tacky and almost ruins the rhyme scheme. I think you could rephrase the first line "I doubt my own ear" to preserve the rhyming while not repeating the same word.

into to the world of the unseen.


Just a typo here with the second "to".

I agree with Nargles about the inconsistent rhyme scheme. I love free verse, and usually I tell people not to rhyme, but here I think a poem about music should have a more steady rhythm. The ending does this really well and it'd be cool to transfer this to the rest of the piece.

Overall, this is a cool piece but it could be cleaned up a bit with a strong rhythm. Keep writing, Schadenfreude, and Fahrvugnugen! :)






Sorry about the title, see I've been wanting to write something with such title for a while. I didn't purposely want to make it such a possibly well known title, but I certainly can change it.
As for the rhyme, yeah I'll work on it, I didn't really want it to rhyme fully but I can't help myself AHHH haha, I always have to rhyme, so I'll fix it up a bit and stuff.



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Sat Oct 26, 2013 9:13 am
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Nargles wrote a review...



Hey, Nargles to review for you!

I lik this poem, it is sweet and nice and good.
You have a really heartwarming story here and you manage to capture the warmth beautifully.
The way you describe the Piano Man and the personas relationship is really well done.

One thing I will criticise is the rhyme, now I know that it doesn't have to rhyme, but you have a poem that feels as if it should rhyme. The last stanza does rhyme and bits and pieces of other stanzas. I feel as if it should have more of a rhyme scheme.

Apart from that it was a good poem and I really enjoyed it.

Keep writing
Nargles xx





I am big enough to admit I am often inspired by myself.
— Leslie Knope