z

Young Writers Society


E - Everyone

My story.

by CrystalCore


You might think that this is just going to be another story similar to all the other ones you have already read but your wrong! You can't judge any piece of writing like that. A personne spent their time on their work just for others to read, wishing with all their hearts for you readers to enjoy it. For isn't that the reason why books are written? I want people to understand that everyone's story is special. It holds much more then a person can possibly imagine.

I've always admired all those stories who are able to transport you to their own dimension. This made me want to write a story of my own. I have written many pages but all have always been thrown in a trash where i believed they belonged. I'm always scared that what i write people won't apreciate. Maybe somoene else might have writen it better then me, or my story wasn't original enough for them. Thinking like this won't ever get you anywhere. Its true that i might not be the most talented personne but i want to write i want to tell people my feelings.

I believe that with faith anyone is able to write. There are so many diferrent stories in this world but none can compare to the story you wrote because the feeling and time you spent writing it makes it special. Like i have already mentioned i've always wanted to write a story that no one has ever read before.

This story is none more then the story about a typicall shy girl living in a library.

No, this is more then just that, this is my story.

"The birds Heart", "Journey to the Sky" and "Dusk" were all really good, I enjoyed reading them. Each and everypage, discovering a new treasure of words. "The last path" was also a great, i don't think i'll ever be able to forget those last ending words. "Cooking chef" , the cakes were surprisingly a lot harder to bake then i had expected. I think that a lot I will want to reread soon. The books understand me, they trust me, they tell me their story. Each book being different I love them all, the ones who make you happy, scared, smile and even the ones who make you cry. Books are pleasant, i can learn from all. They are all interesting in their own way. I like them when their in good condition their pleasan't to look at. I also like when their old, you are able to feel their crispy pages and smell their long lives.

As a menber of the library committee i am able to spend most of my time reading. I find it fun to spend my afternoon reading all those different books. Each day I spend my time reading in the library. The library is like my sanctuary, i'm able to escape reality. I don't like being surrounded by to many people. I don't mind when the library is crowded. These people have the same passion as I. They all come together to experience and learn about the books wisdom. After all books are meant to be read. They all want to discover the books secrets. I have growned acustumed to them they have become part of my daily life. I like to watch them as emotions cover their faces.

I never feel alone because i have all the books to keep me company but also my friends. Mina is always here for me. She's always talking nonesense, i'm not sure how we are able to comunicate knowing i'm more of a shy personne but somehow we are inseparble. Bloom is also part of the library committee. She's always trying to invite me to those scary places called Kareoke's, she just loves singing, each time i find myself forced to decline. There is also Lilly who is head of the library committee, she might seem strickt but she's actually a really nice person. I'll never forget that time where she let me pass a whole night in the library without telling the teachers. Without forgetting Paul, he's the funny type of guy; he's always trying to make us laugh by cracking a joke. He's not actually interested in reading, but in Lilly. Each year he plans to tell her how he feels but it just never works out.

Days pass and i wonder if these carefree days will be able to last forever. This is only for the future to decide. For now all i know is that i see no point in blaming nor regretting the past because there is nothing you'll ever be able to change. Nor do i see the reason to be frightened about our future. Our future is just anoter page to turn.

My story is just another page to turn.

aki


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36 Reviews


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Thu Oct 17, 2013 9:13 pm
MandaPanda1031 wrote a review...



This is a great piece to start with. I think the beginning really clearly demonstrates how most writers feel, afraid their work with be scorned and thrown over other's shoulders. Although in the beginning I wasn't sure if that was an author's note or just the story. I kept reading though and I really liked the concept.

However when you started the paragraph "I never feel alone i have all the books to keep my company but also my friends." I felt like you were starting to ramble a little bit. It would also be a great idea to reread and check for errors and make sure to capitalize your "I's"

I really absolutely loved the metaphor at the end. "My story is just another page to turn." It was very clever!

Keep Writing!!!




CrystalCore says...


Thank-you for reviewing ^^ The phrase about the book and my friend keeping me company is not well structured mainly because i was planning on writing something different but in the end i changed it to that without really looking over it.
I'll try to go over it whenever i find time :)
Thank you so much for also spending your time reading and liking this :3
aki



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Sat Oct 12, 2013 7:06 pm
Maia wrote a review...



This is a really good piece! When you say I, it's like you're talking to us and it makes it really engaging. I particularly like the first three paragraphs and I feel like I'm being told off for judging writing even if I don't. I did find that those first three paragraphs were a bit unrelated to the rest of the piece. Also, instead of putting 'i' you should put 'I', a capital 'i' which I'm sure you can do on a keyboard in whatever country.
Overall this felt a bit more like an introduction to a story than one in it's own right. This is still really nice and I hope you do continue this piece because I'd love to read it!




CrystalCore says...


Can't be bothered to right more :p this is only a short story ^^ but thankyou for reviewing.



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Fri Oct 11, 2013 8:09 pm
Messenger wrote a review...



The Messenger Knight here to review.
So, I really, really, really liked this story/ life experience, but you had some big errors.
1. You have "i" all over the place, when it should be I. That must be fixed. I think just re-reading it would be enough to find the places you have this, so I didn't give any examples.
2. You spell person "Personne" a bunch, and that's a mistake.
3. Here are some other various mess-ups:

"The birds heart", "Journey to the sky"

You need to capitalize "birds heart," and "sky".

He's not actually interested in reading but in Lilly.

You need a comma in between reading and but.

Nor do i see the reason to be frightened about our futur. Our futur is just anoter page to turn.

You have futur in here a bunch, and it needs and e on the end of it. Also, you are missing an h on another.

Bloom who's also a menber of the library.committee

Should be member, and you need a comma after Bloom. This isn't a complete sentence either, but it doesn't connect with the next one.

You have a lot more of those, but I thought I'd let some of the other reviewers pick them out.
Overall I really liked your story, and agree with most of it. I'm a tad jealous of you working at a library (I have a friend who does as well) :(
Keep it up!




CrystalCore says...


Hehe, its just that on the french key board doesn't have "I"s and i just forget to go back on them. I've got to admit that i didn't get to reread this well because I had an appoitment. I'll make sure to correct all the mistakes. thankyou for reviewing !!!
aki



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Fri Oct 11, 2013 8:06 pm
Niraco wrote a review...



Hello there CrystalCore. :D

I'll be honest I didn't have high hopes when I read the title of this. I rolled my eyes believing that it was just going to be another angsty short story from an angsty teenager. I can say with great joy I was proved wrong!

I loved how misleading this title was. Your subject matter I believe is going to be very close to home to al lot of readers.

I also loved your usage of rhetorical questions. Very effective.

However I did notice a few mistakes. For example I seen that sometimes you didn't have capital letters where they should have been.

There was also a few spelling mistakes such as:

then a personne can


I believe you mean 'person'.

Nor do i see the reason to be frightened about our futur. Our futur is just anoter page to turn


'Future'

There were a few more that you'll spot if you go back over this.

Other than that I really enjoyed this great subject matter and I enjoyed how you explained the stories as 'friends' almost.

Keep up the great work!

Niraco~




CrystalCore says...


Just another typicall life but you just have to find out how special that one is ^^. hehe french comming in again << the way i wrote person is actually the french way, gosh i complicated to get both languages right =.= thankyou again so much for the review.




Courage, my soul! Now learn to wield the weight of thine immortal shield...
— Andrew Marvell