Illusion - Chapter One (2/2)

[Continued from last line of previous part]

"Let's see what's inside the mixed race mongrel's bag, shall we?" Connie said with a cruel smile upon her lips to Chloe. Next to her, Chloe sniggered, hiding her smile behind a hand.

I didn't bother fighting back because I had known that Jenny would only twist my arm even more, and maybe even prompt Connie to worsen what she was about to do. Glancing around, I could see that the corridor was seemingly empty, devoid of other students. Of course, if you were a student below Year 11, you wouldn't want to interfere in a fight that involved the oldest year's students. You'd want to walk away with your face hidden, pretending that you hadn't acknowledged the situation.

I watched as Connie slowly unzipped my backpack, the sound deafeningly loud in the silent and empty corridor. My heart raced and hammered.

The scissors...

Connie upended the backpack. Immediately, my books along with my equipment tumbled out in a flurry and thudded against the floor, some half open or lying on their sides. I hadn't caught a flash of silver from the metal blades of the scissors. Relief flooded through my veins and my tense muscles relaxed.

Suddenly, Connie frowned as she held my upside down backpack.

"Is that it?" she murmured.

I held my breath, the sound of my blood rushing through my veins almost thunderous in the intense silence that smothered the air between me and Connie.

Please don't fall out, please don't fall out, please don't fall out...

Then, she shook it again. My eyes widened. The scissors seemed to fall in slow motion, twirling in the air and the metal winking once as it caught the light. They landed with a soft thud upon the pile of my school books. I felt dread and horror rise. Tears pricked my eyes but I could not afford to cry in front of Connie, Chloe and Jenny.

Connie smirked as she looked down at my books.

“So this is it, is it?” she sneered. Her gaze seared into my flesh as she stared at me.

Connie threw my backpack away, her lips curled with disgust as though it was covered in faeces. In that moment, hatred for Connie, Chloe and Jenny welled up inside me. I wanted to fight back. I knew how to. I knew self-defence, but I’d been in too many school fights for me to count. Another fight risked suspension from school, even if it meant that I was defending myself. I couldn’t afford a suspension from my school if I wanted to go to a good sixth form and carry onto a high-ranking university.

Smiling, Chloe picked up one of my books, ignoring the scissors completely. I realised that they weren’t interested in the scissors after all.

My blood ran icy cold when I realised that it was my biology notebook Chloe was holding in her hands. Hours and hours of painstakingly put together notes and hard work were in her hands. All of my hard work would have been for nothing and I would fail in my biology exams without my precious notes.

No, no, no…

Chloe’s smile twisted and she hurled the notebook against the wall where it thudded and fell to the ground, lying open with its white pages, covered in my scrawled handwriting facing upwards.

Then, without warning, Connie and Chloe began picking up my books, throwing them and stamping on them, their laughter shrill and sharp in the air. I tried to twist free of Jenny’s grasp, no longer caring about the arm lock, but she proved to be too strong. For someone who was so thin and bony with barely any muscle underneath her skin, she was powerful. Her fingers dug painfully into my skin, her nails agonisingly sharp. Her breath brushed past my ear as she cruelly laughed. Connie and Chloe were destroying my notes and I couldn’t let them do that.

As quickly as it started, it ended. My books and sheets of paper lay scattered across the floor, crumpled and some torn with the filthy imprints of Chloe’s boots and Connie’s shoes. Connie no longer smiled. Instead, her face was contorted and twisted with an ugly glare.

“This is what happens if you fucking piss me off,” she snarled, “I’ll hurt you back so don’t bother messing with me.”

Connie glanced at Jenny and Chloe before giving me a filthy look.

“Let’s just go, guys,” she said, stepping over my books and flicking her hair back.

I cried out as Jenny shoved me, the sudden force sending me flying to the ground. Pain shot through my body as I collided with the floor on top of a few of my books. As Connie walked away, laughing with Jenny and Chloe, I heard her mutter loudly enough for me to just about hear, "Fucking Japanese."

“Yeah, fuck off back to Japan!” Jenny yelled before they exploded into wild laughter again.

Goddamn cowards!

With my cheeks burning in humiliation, I lifted myself up off the floor and quickly dusted myself down before walking over to my books and scattered papers, and picking them and sliding them into my carelessly discarded backpack. I held up my crumpled English book and my vision swam. It was the one subject that I excelled in and truly loved. My English notes were my pride and joy and I always received praise from my English teacher. Connie had taken what was my confidence and destroyed it, leaving me with nothing at the time but hurt and humiliation.

Damn you to hell, Connie. Damn you to hell, Chloe. Damn you to hell, Jenny. Damn you all to hell…

I frowned. A drop of deep red had landed upon the pink cover of my English book and blossomed slightly. Another drop dripped down onto the cover to be absorbed by the cardboard. With rising dread, I realised that I was having a nosebleed.

How fan-fucking-tastic!

I lifted my hand to my nose and it came away smeared with blood. Shaking with a shame filled rage, I carefully placed my ruined English book inside my backpack along with the scissors and zipped up my backpack.

"Are you okay?"

The small voice seemed to come out from nowhere, rooting me to the spot and paralysing my limbs. I turned my head to see a tiny student, her face filled with concern but fear was embedded in her large Bambi eyes. She had probably witnessed the scene but was too afraid to come out. Judging by her tiny size, the girl was most likely a Year Seven, yet to experience the coming horrors of secondary school.

I nodded without saying a word, fighting back the tears that threatened to spill over as I slipped on my backpack.

“Your nose is bleeding,” she said. Her voice trembled and was small and faint.

“I know,” I mumbled, turning my back to her. “You should leave; the school gates will close in a few minutes.”

And with that, I left soundlessly, leaving the Year Seven where she was. All I cared about was getting home before anyone else saw me in the state I was.

***

When my key turned uselessly in the first lock of the front door of my home, it meant no one else was inside. With trembling fingers and relief pouring through my body, I picked out the key designed to unlock the second lock and inserted it into the keyhole and twisted it. Once that was done, I unlocked the first lock and opened the front door.

I had never felt so relieved to be home.

Quickly and quietly shutting the front door, I dropped my backpack to the floor and headed towards the bathroom. Once I was inside, I bolted the door shut and allowed my emotions to overwhelm me.

My body racked with sobs as I collapsed against the bathroom door, hugging my knees to my chest and shaking violently as I wept silently and soundlessly. Tears forced their way through my tightly shut eyelids and ran down my cheeks, soaking into the soft material of my school trousers. Why was it always me that was selected by the bullies? Why couldn’t I just be accepted for once and not cast out aside for who I was?

Shaking as I stood up, I stumbled over to the bathroom mirror and clutched the rimmed edge of the white sink beneath it. Sobbing, I forced myself to gaze into the mirror. With my eyes, I traced my short and uncontrollable dark brown – which could be easily mistaken for black – hair which stuck up in all directions no matter how much I wetted it. Then I dropped my stare to my slightly almond shaped eyes which were of a dark brown colour, shimmering and brimming over with tears. My cheeks shone with tears as they continued to fall, silent and quick. Blood was smeared across my cheeks from where I had wiped my hand, and encrusted the rims of my nostrils. The tears had left clean tracks in the dried and smeared blood. As for my nose, it had a strange shape and structure to it: not quite European nor Japanese either. My skin was almost of a bone-white colour and I seemed to have permanent dark circles underneath my eyes no matter how much sleep I’d had during the nights – which had led to Connie calling me a vampire.

I hated myself.

“I’m going to fucking hurt everyone who has hurt me,” I whispered. My voice sounded somewhat unfamiliar and alien, hoarse and raspy in the silence. “I’m going to fucking hurt everyone who has hurt me and get my revenge one day.”