Kira's Story, Chapter 16

by dragonfphoenix

Published September 28, 2013

E - Everyone

In Kira's Story

Delta Thread, chapter 9

As he knelt, Kira felt something fly over her shoulder, and she saw the mysterious silver blur snatch the knife from Obsidian, slam into Masa, and pluck the crystal dagger out of the air before it had time to hit the ground. The furry blur spun and launched itself at Obsidian, thrusting Kira away and knocking Obsidian to the ground.
“Don’t move.” the silver form said in a feminine voice, now no longer a blur. Kira turned to look at the strange creature that had given the Demis, as Masa had called them, so much trouble. She was a small girl, elven in form, with distinctly animalistic features. Her long, silver hair flowed around two large, fox-like ears; a short, fluffy tail in the same color fur protruded from under her shirt, and was tipped in black, like the ears. Her legs had the distinctive canine crook above her paws, and her hands, though elven in shape, were coated in short, silver fur. She held the crystal knife to Obsidian’s throat with her left hand, and the fur on her right hand was stained red where she was bleeding. Kira looked back at Masa; he lay on the ground, eyes staring at the ceiling yet seeing nothing, with the knife Obsidian had held buried in his chest and the bolt he’d fired at Raven embedded in his throat. Caden stood holding the messenger, who hadn’t thought to leave during the turmoil. Kira looked back at the small girl, and inhaled sharply as she didn’t see the same person pinning Obsidian down that had been there a moment ago. The girl that now sat with her knee on Obsidian’s chest had none of the fox features, nor was her hair silver, but black. The only clues that told Kira this was the same girl was the crystal dagger held firmly in her left hand, and the long cut in the palm of her right hand from where she’d grabbed the knife.
“Who are you?” Kira asked, not accusingly but in wonder.
“That’s…” Caden began in a relieved voice, but the girl turned back and glared past Kira at him with her emerald eyes.
“Raven.” she stated firmly, pressing the dagger harder into Obsidian’s throat to keep him under control. She turned her focus back to Obsidian but did not slacken the pressure.
“Raven.” Caden echoed, saying the name as if to get the feel for it. “I don’t know, Raven. I think your given name suits you better.”
“Well we can discuss that later.” Raven replied. She turned the dagger’s point into Obsidian’s neck and said, “You have five seconds to tell me why I shouldn’t send you back to Interim.”
Obsidian smiled weakly and said, “Don’t I get a moment to collect my thoughts?”
“You’ve had almost three years to do that.” Raven growled, applying a little more force to the dagger. “And you’re wasting time.”
“Don’t kill him yet.” Caden said, walking over while keeping a firm grip on his charge. “I want to ask him a few questions.”
“I really don’t have much motivation to cooperate.” Obsidian said, glancing at the dagger.
“You’ll have plenty of motivation.” Raven said. “I can always switch to less lethal means of pain.”
“I don’t fold to torture.” Obsidian said, looking at Raven as if she’d said the most ridiculous thing he’d ever heard.
“Fine.” she replied, and raked her claws across his face, leaving a small trail of blood from her cut. Obsidian shook his head to try to dislodge the droplets, but that just made them streak his face. Raven shook her hand and said, “That hurt. And if it hurt me more than you, you’re going to regret that.”
“Oh no, it hurt perfectly fine.” Obsidian said through a forced smile. Raven leaned close to his face and grinned wolfishly.
“Good, because I’m going to enjoy your visit.” she said.
“Shadow, Sunburst, get in here.” Caden called over his shoulder to the headset that lay on the floor. Kira had forgotten about it in the melee, but Shadow apparently had not, because he appeared almost instantly.
“Sonny’s dealing with something that came up outside.” Shadow said, walking over with his rifle held loosely across his chest. “It’s been rather boring since they quit fighting.”
“Well, here’s something to do.” Caden said, firmly pushing the messenger to his brother. “Keep an eye on him.”
“I see the little pompous worm is back.” Shadow said as he looked at Obsidian while grabbing the messenger’s arm.
“That little pompous worm almost won.” Caden said, leaning down beside Raven. “Now, I have questions: you’d better have answers. What are these things, these Demis? How did you make them?”
“I’m a Moderator.” Obsidian said indignantly. “How do you think I made them?”
“What are they?” Caden repeated.
“They were elves, and now they’re Demis.” Obsidian said. “Anyone can see that.”
“Anyone who knows how to look.” Raven said, running the point of the blade down and deep enough to draw a small, red bead from his neck. “Let me ask it this way: what do they do?”
“They do whatever I tell them to.” Obsidian said. “They can access the Overlay Region, as you’ve seen, but they can’t get to the Moderators’ Realm, which keeps them inferior to me and under my control.”
“Brilliant.” Raven spat. “So now we have to keep tabs on Demis, on top of the Dragon Elves and the Dark Elves?”
“At least the Dragon Elves are on our side.” Caden said. “What I’m wondering more than that is why you sat in the desert for almost three years before attacking. Also if there are any more ‘hidden’ armies waiting out there somewhere that we don’t know about. Shadow, can you send Sunny out? Or is he too busy?”
“He’s busy.” Shadow said. “We’ll look into it later.”
“All right, you’d better answer the question.” Raven said, pressing her knee harder into his chest. “Why did you wait so long, and where are the others?”
“There are no ‘others’.” Obsidian said, annoyed. “And do you think I perfected the Demis with the first one? Absolutely not! It took me almost a year to get the modifications correct, and then the rest of that time I spent implementing them. I haven’t had time to gather any more soldiers, so there are no hidden reserves.”
“He’s lying.” Raven said, glaring at Obsidian.
“Well, at least he’s talking.” Caden said. “Last question. How did you get here? I had the Overlay Region monitored.”
“I wasn’t ordered to stay out of the Moderators’ Realm like you were.” Obsidian said, grinning smugly. “Never assume that your orders apply to everyone.”
“I have a feeling someone broke their orders.” Raven said, drilling Obsidian pointedly.
“Absolutely not!” Obsidian objected.
“All right, well that’s all I wanted to know. Take him out of here.” Caden said, waving his hand as he stood up.
“My pleasure.” Raven said, dragging Obsidian to his feet. Though shorter, she kept the knife trained on the small of his back as she shoved Obsidian out of the room.
“He’s good.” Shadow said when Obsidian was gone.
“He’s too good. That’s how he fails.” Caden said, turning around to look at his brother. “I think the Override Crystal was Masa’s doing. Obsidian had no idea how that stuff actually works to kill Moderators.”
“Well that was his mistake.” Shadow said. “When you have a secret weapon that important, it’s best to test it first to make sure you know how to use it.”
The brothers shared a laugh, and Caden said, “So what is Sunny dealing with?”
“I have a question first.” Kira said, standing between them. “Caden, how did you trick them into thinking you were dead?”
“That was not a trick. I really was dead.” Caden said, then smiled at her confusion. “So why am I alive now?”
“Yes.” she said.
“I can manipulate waves.” Caden said. “Anything that I can model after a wave I can control. Death is like a wave. With all the similes in language describing death as a wave or like water, it wasn’t hard for me to find out how to control it. I can make my body function as if it were dead, and so from all appearances I really was dead. But life is also like a wave.”
“So you simply started controlling ‘life waves’ to come back alive?” Kira asked.
“Something like that.” Caden said. “Does that help?” Kira nodded, but still looked a little confused. “So Shadow, what is Wildfire doing?” he asked, and before Shadow could answer another Demi appeared in the room, away from the group. He walked forward slowly, then sank to one knee in front of Kira.
“I would like an audience with the Queen.” the Demi said humbly.
“Granted.” Kira said, looking at him quizzically.
He remained kneeling and continued, “My men and I have seen the error of our ways and those we served. On behalf of my men, I would like to extend our formal surrender to Your Highness, and we lay our lives at your mercy.”
“How very considerate of you to see that now.” Caden said, his voice a little harsh. “And why didn’t you see it before?”
“Hush, Caden.” Kira scolded, knowing she had no real authority over him, but he quieted anyway. “How do I know you are to be trusted? You are guilty of both treason and armed rebellion against the crown.”
“I know that, Your Highness.” the Demi said, keeping his head low. “But we throw ourselves upon your mercy and grace.”
“As you’ve said.” Kira stated. “And if I accept your surrender, what will you do?”
“Whatever you command, Your Grace.” the Demi said.
Kira placed her hand gently on Caden’s shoulder and stepped a few paces away from the supplicant Demi. Caden followed her and she said, “What do you think?”
“Is he lying?” Caden asked.
“I’m not sure.” Kira said. Caden lowered his head in a mild scold.
“Then make sure.” he said, looking into her eyes.
“Demi, look at me.” Kira commanded, watching for his eyes. He did as ordered, and Kira saw with her insight the fear in them. Not the fear of discovery, but honest fear. He was afraid of what she would decide, but he had told the truth. She looked back at Caden. “He’s not lying.”
Caden looked away and blew out his breath. “Well, so long as they’re loyal, we could use some help to search the land. I don’t believe Obsidian would attack without a secondary plan. But I wouldn’t advise reincorporating them into the Guard until we’ve proven them.”
Now it was Kira’s turn to chide. “Caden, do you really think I’m that foolish?”
“No, but you’re definitely younger than I am.” he replied, grinning. “I’ll send them out with Sunny and Shadow to scour the land for enemies. Shadow can pick out who is serious about returning to your service, and who is still your enemy, and deal with both accordingly.”
Kira nodded and turned back to the Demi, who was still dutifully watching her. “Rise, Demi.” He stood up quietly, keeping his hands at his side submissively. “I accept your surrender. You and your men will be put under the supervision of Shadow and Wildfire, and are to do as they command.”
“As you wish, Your Majesty.” he said, bowing at the waste.
“And you, messenger,” Kira said, turning to the Demi Shadow still held. “Do you agree to the terms of surrender?”
“Of course, Your Highness.” the elf said, dipping his head, since Shadow’s firm gripped permitted little else.

Comments & reviews · 2
User avatar
PenguinAttack
Review
PenguinAttack wrote a review Review · Sep 29, 2013

Heyho!

Again, I don’t know why Kira is given so little attention or power here. I know she’s allowed to take the Demis into her power but really she’s not given much room to manoeuvre otherwise. I realise that Caden is a Moderator and therefore far more powerful and wise than her but she should have more of a sense of weight to her personality and her sense of being. She should just know to check the Demi’s eyes by now, it’s been three years since she learnt! I think it’s incredibly suspicious, myself, and I wouldn't trust it one little jot, but since there are so few chapters left I’m going to have to trust you on this one and believe that nothing totally odd is going to happen.

Now, the introduction of Raven again is interesting but I feel like that bit happened too quickly? Or, at least, I completely missed the death of Masa in the trouble with everything else, the movement reflected the speed of her movements but I somehow feel like you should mention that at the end of the paragraph if only we have a better sense that this guy who has been far more trouble than anyone else is actually dead. It’s a nicely unimportant death for the guy who screwed everything up for them along the way.

Your language has been of the same standard as the last couple stanzas, more even description though, which is nice. Still heavy on some info dumping but in these cases it’s much harder to give info without it seeming unnatural.

I’m super looking forward to the completion of these chapters, I know you must have something pretty incredible left as I JUST realised there is only ONE chapter left! Aaaah this feels like it’s going to be a very quick ending!

- Penguin

User avatar
umaima
Review
umaima wrote a review Review · Sep 29, 2013

Hey :D

So seeing as I am reviewing the 16th chapter of your novel I know I have missed a lot. Which to my disappointment can't be helped with, not today at least but I will try t cover up on other days because guess what?

I... I loved it! And after reading this chapter I have to make sure to read the others but some other day maybe, today I have to work hard so that my team wins! :D

Now getting back to the review, Let's start from the plot, shall we?

I couldn't quite get it because you see I haven't read the other chapters but this chapter kinda made me think that it is good. And strong enough to make this story a hit! So it's a job well done there.

Secondly, I thought your characters names were different. Now when it comes to writing a novel there are some seriously famous names you can see almost in each of those you read and it gets annoying in the end and confusing too if you are reading 2-3 novels in the same week without ending one.

So seeing that your story's character's names were a bit different I felt it more fun to read ( trust me, I have started getting so irritated by the names like 'chloe' 'nicole' 'conner' but because they are also my immature friends names ;) but because they have been appearing in every book I read and you just get tired of it!)

Then comes the part where I say CONCLUSIONS :D:

It's a nice story, I can tell you that though basically I don't know the whole one but judging from this chapter, yea a nice story definitely!

I want you to keep writing no matter what and have fun while doing so!

If you ever need a review ask me and I will do the honor ;)

Bye!



Today I bent the truth to be kind, and I have no regret, for I am far surer of what is kind than I am of what is true.
— Robert Brault