z

Young Writers Society


E - Everyone

Kira's Story, Chapter 13

by dragonfphoenix


Delta Thread, Chapter 6

Shadow sat at his surveillance point, watching both the physical and the Overlay Region. The rain had stopped, and he and Sunburst had moved into position the moment the last drop had fallen. Wildfire was going by his given name today, since the intermittent sunshine seemed to imply his presence with every gap in the cloud cover. They had watched the camp for several hours now, and nothing had moved beyond the occasional soldier getting food or performing some other monotonous task. Shadow had noted with disgust and concern that the elves still had not posted sentries since their last visit. Although this made coming and going much easier for him, his instincts were screaming that there was something seriously wrong with there being no guards to alert an army this small of any potential threats. They were known enemies of both Eldia and the Gypsies, especially since their former or current leader, depending on the situation, had abducted both a potential member of their tribe, and an expecting Gypsy. The Gypsies were highly protective of their people, and such an action was enough to send the entire Gypsy nation into a state of war. As it was, it had taken the combined efforts of Seth, Enna, and Kira to convince the Elders that the guilty party was well out of reach, if not dead. Shadow smiled grimly. Apparently they should have been more eager to let the Gypsies go elf-hunting if they felt so inclined. Then again, the blatant disregard this little task force showed for both its concealment and its safety intimated a secret that would have proved disastrous should the Gypsies have encountered it alone.

“Have you seen anything yet, Shadow?” Sunburst’s voice asked through his headset in a tone just a shade above that of a whine. “We’ve been out here for hours, and they’ve done nothing but sit around like worthless lumps of clay.”

“If I had, you’d be the first to know.” Shadow said. “That way, I wouldn’t have to listen to your constant whining and complaining like a little girl.”

“But I’m tired of sitting here doing absolutely nothing but watching the grass grow.” Sunburst said.

“Sonny, it’s a desert. There’s no grass out here.” Shadow said.

“Well, the sand is getting blown around, then.” Sunburst said. “So I’m watching dust get blown around in circles, or ovals, or whatever shape it chooses to blow in.”

“And I’m sure you’re also watching the elves in physical and the Overlay Region as well?” Shadow asked, fully expecting a negative reply.

“Yes I am, and it’s just as boring.” Sunburst replied. “There’s nothing to do!”

“Then give yourself something to do, like focus on the task at hand.” Shadow said.

“But I’ve been focusing for hours now, and I’m all focused out.” Sunburst whined through the headset’s speakers.

“Sonny, if you don’t…” But Shadow’s threat was cut short as he saw something come up on the Overlay scanner.

“I see it too.” Sunburst said, his voice eager.

“Well keep down and out of sight, Wildfire.” Shadow said. “The last thing I need right now is you scaring off whatever it is that’s decided to show its face.” He slid silently from his position on the dune and started slowly walking towards the camp.

“Shadow, if that thing has access to the Overlay, that would imply that it can sense your presence, regardless of your live cam.” Sunburst advised over the intercom.

Shadow stopped, and sighted the camp through his rifle’s lens. “Sunny, that’s probably the best thing I’ve heard you say all day.”

“Great! Does that mean I get to use my Judge on them?” Sunburst asked excitedly.

Shadow laughed, and said, “Not yet, Sunburst, but when the time comes to start pumping them full of energy shots, you’ll be the first to know.”

“I’d better be.” Sunburst replied. “I’m the only one with my chain gun, the last time I checked.”

Shadow sighed and started for the camp again. “Sonny, just keep me covered. I’m going in.”

“All right, but I’m going to get tired of seeing your backside.” Sunburst said.

“Sonny, my foot’s going to meet yours if you decide to start goofing off, especially right now. My patience is running a little thin.” Shadow said, a little bit of a growl creeping into his voice. He’d promised Caden he wouldn’t change form, but Sunburst was really pushing his buttons.

“Don’t worry. I can see you just fine with my sights.” his brother replied happily.

“Sonny, you point that thing away from me right now.” Shadow said, his voice harsher than before. If Wildfire got the idea that it’d be fun to send a stream of charges over his shoulder, that gun of his could do some serious damage to Shadow, in spite of the modifications he’d made to his suit. An energy gun that could fire a stream of charges more solid than a laser beam was a gun to be feared, hence its nickname.

“Relax, I’m using the free sights on my headset. I haven’t even touched my gun yet.” Wildfire tried to reassure his brother.

“What!” Shadow exclaimed, stopping as if he’d run into a wall. “You mean to tell me you weren’t prepared for an ambush or anything?”

“No, I mean that I simply have it strapped to my back right now. It’s available.” Sunburst replied.

“Well, I think it’s time to have it ready. I want it in your hands, ready for anything.” Shadow ordered.

“You’re the boss.” Wildfire said, half mockingly, half seriously.

Shadow ignored the comment and walked on. He went into the camp’s perimeter, and scouted through the closest tent for signs of life. As it had been for the entirety of his stakeout, it was abandoned, vacant of the two soldiers who’d been there the previous day, sitting almost on top of his long-range surveillance device. Shadow softly reclaimed his monitor, a small sphere that could sense heat and optical waves without much interference from the sand around it. He slid it into its designated pocket, then walked out, barely moving the flap. He saw a soldier staring absently at him as he exited, but he knew that his active camouflage kept him safely out of sight, and the soldier had probably mistaken the movement for that of a gentle desert breeze, not uncommon, especially after the rain. Shadow walked over to the elf and sighted him through his scope. He had to resist the urge to shoot the elf then and there, but he turned his gun and walked on. He had a mission to complete.

He walked towards the location the scanner had indicated that something had entered the physical realm through the Overlay Region. When he turned the corner of the tent that blocked his view, he saw a group of three elves, two unrecognized. The third was Masa, easily identified despite the little name-tag that hovered over him on Shadow’s Mod headset. Shadow brought his rifle up and lined the sights on Masa as he listened to their conversation.

“You’re sure the preparations are almost complete?” Masa asked the elf on his left.

“Quite sure, sir.” The elf replied, dipping his head.

“How soon can we move out?” Masa asked, and the second elf replied.

“I would say that we can be ready by the week’s end.” he said, unfolding a map and pointing out various features to Masa. Shadow’s helmet cameras began recording with a quick, whispered command. “We have almost finished securing the new fort, here, and the company that is designated for Mid-Sky is preparing for the assault.”

“Good. Have them outfitted by tomorrow night.” Masa said. “I want them ready and waiting. The fort can wait; if Mid-Sky is successful, it won’t be necessary.”

“Yes, sir.” The elves replied, then vanished into the Overlay Region. Shadow caught his breath, and held it for several seconds. The elves had had no Moderator to take them, nor were they Keys, though Shadow doubted that the Keys of Eldia could access the Overlay Region. No, these elves could enter and exit the Overlay Region at will, which was the familiar presence he’d felt. They weren’t fully Moderators, but having that ability would give them a distinct advantage over the Palace Guard. That also explained why they had no need of a camp guard: they could vanish if the need arose, and be untouchable.

Shadow heard footfalls behind him, and turned his head to see what was coming. The elf he’d seen as he exited the tent was looking in his direction, a confused look on his face. He kept glancing at the sand, following some invisible trail towards Shadow’s present position. Shadow realized in frustration that he’d forgotten about his tracks. The elf had noticed his footprints, and just had to follow them to find Shadow. Little good he could do if he found him, but Shadow’s presence had been compromised. Shadow withdrew a silenced pistol and shot the elf between the eyes. He turned back to Masa as the elf’s expression began to change.

“What was that?” he demanded, his eyes taking on the look of a hunted animal. Shadow simply shot his sniper rifle at the elf, but Masa was too quick. He vanished into the Overlay Region before the shot could reach him, but he had failed to warn the soldiers that they were under attack. There was no need, however. Shadow’s rifle had done that for him, bellowing out its miniature thunderclap. Soldiers began pouring out of their tents and running in the direction of the sound, unaware of what had happened. Shadow smiled beneath his helmet’s visor; these elves were unaccustomed to guns, and that gave him an advantage. He began to slowly walk towards the nearest tent, making sure to keep his fresh footprints from giving him away. As the elves congregated around the elf he’d shot with his pistol, he began slowly preparing to unleash the full speed of his rifle, one that Wildfire had dubbed ‘Cobra’. These elves’ minds had been opened to the possibility of an unseen enemy, but they hadn’t yet encountered the firearms that Obsidian had. Shadow waited until he thought that the maximum amount of unsuspecting victims had gathered in his sights, then pulled the trigger.

Immediately the ex-Guard soldiers began to disappear into the Overlay Region, but Shadow’s gun, hissing its deadly bullets, took out many unsuspecting troops before they could react. Shadow prided himself on his ability to take at least one elf with every shot. He couldn’t help but smile as several bullets caught two or three in their lethal race. Eventually the camp cleared, and Shadow was left with his smoking rifle amid a camp of perhaps thirty-five to forty dead. He switched his viewer to see what Wildfire saw, and was pleased to see his brother had been waiting for such an escape in the Overlay Region. Apparently Sunburst had paid attention to Shadow’s order to keep an eye on what Shadow would see in the camp, and had adjusted accordingly. Shadow took a rough estimate of the damage Wildfire’s gun was capable of, and if used properly, Masa could have lost up to half his troops today for his failure to watch out for enemies.

“How many?” Shadow asked when the viewer cleared of enemies.

“Less than I’d liked to have gotten after such a long wait.” Sunburst replied. The number flickered across Shadow’s visor’s display, and he groaned.

“Only 147?” he asked disbelievingly. “How many in the camp?”

“More than that.” Sunburst replied. “A whole lot more.”

“How’d they get by?” Shadow asked, jumping into the Overlay Region to return to the Palace.

“Don’t know.” Sunburst said, sliding his gun onto his back.

Shadow gasped as he realized something, and started travelling faster through the Overlay.

“What’s wrong?” Sunburst asked, speeding to catch up.

“We’ve got a problem.” Shadow said in a frustrated growl.

“What?” his brother asked.

“They knew we were coming.” Shadow said, glancing at his brother, though both their faces were hidden by their visors. “They wanted us as far away from the Palace as they could get us.”

“We’re under attack.” Wildfire said, finally realizing the gravity of the situation. “I’ll take the Outer Wall.”

“I’ll alert the guards on the Inner.” Shadow said, nodding in agreement. “But don’t linger. Come to the Palace the moment after you sound the alarm.”

The brothers raced back to the city in grim silence, fearing that they were already too late.


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363 Reviews


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Reviews: 363

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Sun Sep 29, 2013 11:38 am
DreamWork wrote a review...



Hi Shadow,Dark with review here.

The story begins with the character of Shadow back again. But it feels too long with the first verse here! You can divide it into two parts so that the structure looks balanced.

“Have you seen anything yet, Shadow?” Sunburst’s voice asked through his headset in a tone just a shade above that of a whine. “We’ve been out here for hours, and they’ve done nothing but sit around like worthless lumps of clay.”

Very interesting conversation here.I mean when Sunburst said that 'they are doing nothing but sit around like a lumps of clay!'. Well,quiet funny here.

Wow, I just noticed the names of the characters in this novel is so unique . As if it reflects their character itself. Is that right?Just like these two elf here.

“You’re sure the preparations are almost complete?” Masa asked the elf on his left.

“Quite sure, sir.” The elf replied, dipping his head.

“How soon can we move out?” Masa asked, and the second elf replied.


Interesting story!
Keep it up!
cheers
dark.




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896 Reviews


Points: 240
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Sun Sep 29, 2013 11:29 am
PenguinAttack wrote a review...



Yo

Whaaaaaaaaat is Shadow doing shooting people? Like, seriously. He could have just disappeared, and not shot the guy in the face, there was seriously no need for him to shoot the guy. It gave away his position to everyone, whereas if the guard had just mentioned footsteps, Masa would know someone had been there but since no one was dead he could assume it wasn't hostile. Ugggh Shadow is dumb.

What. What. That is seriously the best movement you've done in this entire novel. I fully expected it to happen, but not quite so soon, so it worked perfectly. Nice work on that bit. I think that it moved slowly to begin with though, do we really need all of the back and forth between Shadow and Wildfire? It slows down a pace that could have been whippet fast. Not to mention that your speed in the second half of this chapter worked much better. Consider evening out these character's personalities again, as I've said before. I'm getting Wildfire as a joker and Shadow being pretty serious but he doesn't seem to be always serious and that's pretty confusing.

Your description was better here as well, although it could have been worked through a little more as well, we have it all at the beginning and almost none at the end. Even it out.

As always, I'll see you in the next chapter (which I'm totally expecting to be an improvement on this chapter!)
- Penguin





"I can't go back to yesterday because I was a different person then."
— Lewis Carroll