VERSE#1:
That chilly night in December,
i remember, us in that fight
you were cryin' n screamin, i was shoutin', sayin' that i was right
"bitch. so what? what if i didn't come home for dinner
hookup down n up with hookers, what if i'mma a sinner
least, i aint make a fuss, like ya, pain in butt, always hurtin' like its a hobby
ain't a retard, nutty slut like Miley, twerkin' on the awards
i'mma know we've had differences, but yo! you're still ma princess!
you still have a place in ma heart, and i like ya still"
you said you didn't believe in me, gave me, a blow, whoa! right on to ma face,
whore! before i could go for that vase, i dazed, i teetered
and you had that 9mm, pulled onto ma head
and i said "stop it damn bitch drop it, ain't no need to get mad, okay, it was ma bad
ain't no need to be a bum, take it easy else I'll give ya some,
we need too figure this shit out" but before i could make her stop
she groped the trigger pulled it out *GUNSHOT*
and i was dead, so am I still damn it! and now i bet my ass on it
everyday, every single fuckin' night, late night, Christmas night
on your bed, up the beach, on the sand you hold that bullet in your hand
and you wish...
CHORUS:
"i wish i could've hold on to ya
i wish now that i could've told ya
i loved you more, than the stars on the brightest night
I wish I could bring times that we've had together
i wish i could be with you forever, once again..."
"but it's too late! it's too late for anything!
too late! I'm never comin' back again!
too late! I'm never lookin' back again!
it's too late! too late today
it's too late! too late today...!"
VERSE#2:
now that you've hit me, bitch, now that you've killed me
before you fuckin' leave ma path, rip ma body all apart
go on take a peak, take a look inside, take it all you seek, cuz ain't nothin' I'mma hide
now that you've blown, everything, thrown ma shoes away, pocketed ma pocket watch
taken bucks from me away, and a last look at ma crotch
nipped me, tripped all over me, i want ya to grip me, rip me all apart
bend down over on me, take what i owe ya,damn it!
go on and take ma heart, fuckin' take a look at it!
you're surprised, ain't ya? you're seein' yourself in it, bitch, ain't ya
it ain't a mirror! so that you know... but you are a fuckin' killer! ain't ya hoe? you happy now?
you're lookin' pretty wacky standin' there, ain't ya? clutchin ma heart you feel like a stranger!
i can see a tear in your eye, hooh yah! but you don't wanna cry, or do ya?
or rejoice! you can throw it right away, hah bitch! you want it now? han?
look at it when you're close by me, look at it, when you're a thousand fuckin' miles away,
look at it now and then, every time, every fuckin night away,
it'll always look like this too ya, you'll always see your selfish self, right into it, right in ma heart
cuz you've always been right into it, so you're still, yeah bitch, you're still in it, damn it
it'll always be for you, you'll always see your self in it, crap...
and i know, right now you're wishin that...
CHORUS:
"i wish i could've hold on to ya
i wish that i could've told ya
i loved you more than the stars on the brightest night
I wish I could bring times that we've had together
i wish i could be with you forever, once again..."
"but it's too late! it's too late for anything!
too late! I'm never comin' back again!
too late! I'm never lookin' back again!
Yo!
I really liked it! I enjoyed every line, every word. I like this style of music, so yeah.. I also write lyrics and I love it. It's nice to meet lyricists here. Am very interested with this one, so i'm going to read your other songs.
keep goin!
- Ophelia
I'd have to agree with rainbowcabbit \/ about the making yourself die. I've never heard that done before in a song. But other than that, this does nothing for me (I typically ignore the profanity because it's just a space filler and I don't use swear words). The rhythm is way off, there's no beat, and the lines go up and down on beat number. Maybe you'll find your beat soon, maybe not. I don't know if you can pull it out of this song.
Oh my gosh this looks exactly like something my brother would write. Well, I don't really like these kinds of songs. I like how you made yourself die, that's different. Other than that the song really isn't to original besides that. Anyone can vent their feelings into a song. The cursing didn't make the song very appealing. Try limiting the usage of curse words and describing the scene with more metaphors and similes for imagery. Describing the scene with more adjectives can also help add imagery. Hopefully this can make the song more original (and less like Eminem or my brother wrote it) because it does have a lot of potential. I hope this helps and keep writing!