Published August 29, 2013
Just a simple song I wrote. :) Please watch this video! - http://youtu.be/GZ-5roN29RE :)
"Butterfly Peas"
Butterfly peas, butterfly peas,
butterfly peas...
Where, oh where have you gone?
Did they take you?
Did they kill you?
Did they eat you?
Or did the butterflies just fail you?
They could have saved your brethren,
scattered all your pollens,
and maybe these grassfields would bloom
with all your little winglets
- purple, blue, and violet.
But did you...?
But, but did you...?
But did you just take off and fly?
You, you...
butterfly peas, butterfly peas,
butterfly peas never said
goodbye.
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140,764 Literary Works • 673,687 Reviews
Hello and happy review day!
This was very cute and child-like! It has the potential to be a poem to read to a child. I really liked it. I thought it was simple and sweet and had a cute rhythm to it.
I can't offer much criticism on it, other than the fact that you could've put some more imagery into this! Honestly, it didn't have enough. Maybe you could have gone more in depth about these butterfly peas? Anyways, think about it! I think it would've added more to the poem and made it more vivid, especially for a child-like mind.
Cheers!
~Iggy
Thanks.
Anyway, it's just a little song so. xD I didn't wanna go complex with the melodies and lyrics. Maybe it was a little too subtle, haha. Did you watch the video by the way?
I'll be sure to listen to this later, but for now you'll have to do with a review of just the lyrics themselves.
I really love this. The word choice is beautiful in its simplicity. There's almost a childlike quality to it that's really beautiful.
The only part I didn't quite enjoy was the "Where oh where..." Maybe it's just me, but there seems something cheesy and maybe even a bit cliche about 'Where oh where'. I applaud you for not falling into cheese at any other point in this poem, which is hard usually and even harder due to the feel of the poem itself.
I really like this and can't wait to come back and listen to it as song. Hope this review helped! : )
-tgirly
Thank you.
I hope you'd like the song as much as you liked the lyrics. Anyway, I'm quite fond of 'where, oh where'. xD I also remember hearing this before 
- http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DRhPXuux5lY.
Thanks for the link! Yeah, the where oh where is growing on me too. Sorry I couldn't be more helpful though.
No problem at all!
This was very...interesting! Not in a negative way, but in a positive way. I wasn't sure what to expect at the title "Butterfly Peas" and I'm curious as to exactly what a "Butterfly Pea" is. But this was, nevertheless, and enjoyable read. It reminded me of a child entering the adult world and how a parent would see it. The parents would be somewhat lost as to what happened. Anyway, this was a pleasure to read and I hope to read more from you in the future.
-Ariana
Thank you. ^_^
O= Simple and Beautiful<3
It's just so... Oh, God! It's enchanting~ I love it.
Thank you, Sol.