z

Young Writers Society


18+ Language Violence Mature Content

Makaily - Chapter 1

by Alora


Warning: This work has been rated 18+ for language, violence, and mature content.

Chapter 1 - Strained Re-acquaintance

Fifteen years later...

Jessica Worthy shivered, her stomach pulling into a knot at the sight of the black Commodore car. She watched reverently as it pulled into the gas station behind them. She had been keeping her eyes vigilantly to the front this entire trip to avoid the sight for as long as possible. Now that she'd turned to look, she found it difficult to tear her eyes away.

It was the gentle squeeze on her hand that finally distracted her. She turned to her partner Aden, who was seated beside her in the back seat of the Sedan car. His emerald eyes studied her curiously and she tilted her head away, allowing her sandy brown hair to spill over her shoulder to hide her expression.

"I gotta take a whizz," came Steve's voice from the front seat of the car.

His girlfriend Angie sat beside him and she rolled her eyes and plucked herself from the passenger seat. The car doors snapped shut, leaving Jessica and Aden in a blanket of silence. Jessica's gaze followed the movement of her best friend as Angie stepped around the bowser and hooked the gas hose into the tank.

Aden finally broke the tension, "You regret me coming with you?"

Jessica's darted her eyes back to him. Aden's sleek black hair curled around his ears, his fringe dangling over sad eyes. He sat rigid, his slender arm pressed against the door, his fingers anxiously thumbing the handle.

"Of course not," Jessica insisted, "I regret us being here. I don't know why we agreed to this."

"We agreed because Angie is your friend and she begged you to come," Aden reminded her. He shuffled awkwardly and mumbled, "Besides, most of these guys were your friends...until I came along."

His eyes lowered and Jessica reached out a comforting hand, "Don't be saying that."

She didn't like Aden blaming himself for her estrangement from the group. Truth was, it had begun long before they'd gotten together. Nevertheless, here he was supporting her to break the barrier. Always striving to do the right thing, Aden had to be the most genuine person she knew.

She squeezed his arm and he raised his head and gently urged, "Go talk to Angie."

An encouraging smile encased his lips and she nodded. Climbing out, Jessica walked around to where Angie stood, barely towering the car. Small muscles indented Angie's arms as she held the gas hose in place. She bounced eagerly on the balls of her feet, her sneakers silent on the concrete.

"So glad you're coming," she grinned, her short mousy curls bobbing around her face.

Jessica smiled meekly and leaned back against the car to avoid the black Commodore parked several feet away. She could feel a rush of blood spreading to her face as she thought it.

I can't put this off forever.

"He's not over there," Angie said and she eyed Jessica carefully, "Are you sure you're okay with this?"

What could Jessica say? No, she wasn't sure at all. It felt surreal that her old friends and ex-boyfriend now felt like strangers. Even weirder to be taking a camping trip with them, with her new boyfriend in tow. Five years she had hung out with these people, three of those years as Trent's girlfriend. And then everything went sour; the break-up, the fights that followed and then the arduous months of silent treatment.

She still couldn't believe they had been invited on this weekend trip. More to the point, she couldn't believe she had agreed. What had ever possessed her to throw themselves to the wolves like this? But deep down she knew Aden was right, she was doing it for Angie. Their change in circumstances had robbed them of quality time and Jessica missed her fiercely. It had been Angie's idea to invite them along and her persistence had been difficult to refuse.

Aden had swallowed his concerns and encouraged Jessica to go. He didn't want to come between friends and he saw it as an opportunity to mend broken bridges with others. Jessica doubted it though. If there was one thing she'd learned over time – there was nothing like a good break-up to realise who your real friends were.

Some of the group had stopped speaking to her entirely, making it awkward for Angie. Even her boyfriend Steve had grown distant to Jessica, though he remained polite. But for some reason, Angie was determined to get things back to the way they used to be.

Jessica had finally surrendered to Angie's nagging under the condition that Aden could come too.If this weekend was going to be the bloodshed she feared, she needed as much reinforcement as possible. Aden had never been a part of the group and was somewhat reluctant to come but eventually he agreed.

"This will be a good ice-breaker for Aden," Angie insisted when Jessica hadn't responded. She then looked at the black car and sniffed, "And so what about Trent? You've been ignoring each other for months, so what's one more weekend?"

Jessica peered over shoulder into the window of the Sedan. Aden was watching her and his gentle smile and calming eyes were enough to ease her nerves. Angie pulled back the gas hose and grinned, "We'll have a great time catching up! You'll see."

Jessica forced a smile as her friend screwed the cap back on, "Just like old times."

In her usual form, Angie spoke excitedly as she set the hose back onto the bowser. She didn't stop talking while she bounced towards the store and Jessica felt no choice but to follow. All she really wanted to do was dive back into the safe confinements of the car. She swung a rueful glance at Aden as they walked away, and he simply waved his hand nonchalant.

Angie's voice babbled over the whir of the automatic doors sliding open. She was oblivious to Jessica's hesitation when they entered the store. There he was, standing at the counter with his back to her. She immediately recognised his muscular form and the wavy blonde hair that draped over his neck. Trent...her ex-boyfriend...the first guy she'd ever loved.

Even knowing this moment was unavoidable, she still wasn't prepared. As she stood there in the doorway, she was overwhelmed with a mixture of emotion; anger, guilt, sadness.

Trent was leaning forward with the shop attendant, a map spread wide over the counter. Angie's boyfriend Steve was leaning over Trent's shoulder. Their other friend, Damo, had slumped his bulky build on the far edge of the counter. His fingers tapped impatiently as he scowled under the green bandanna wrapped around his head. No one had noticed the girl's entrance and Angie stopped talking as Jessica hovered uncertainly.

"We're heading to the Wilson River, at the northern end of Tarrigen Forrest," Trent was telling the shopkeeper. He tapped a finger on a specific part of the map and asked, "Which road would get us closest to the river about there?"

The shop attendant was an elderly man, his skin a blanket of wrinkles on brittle bone. He rubbed his white stubbly chin and squinted his eyes.

"You best to take the ol' Dry-Creek Road. It heads off the highway after the town of Brighton," he then gazed at Trent and added, "But I wouldn't recommend that area - too much wildlife and trekking, not ideal for campin'."

Trent exchanged a look with Damo as the old man pointed to another part of the map, "You better off taking this road here to the south end of the river. That area has wide open spaces and good fishing."

"We want to go to the North end," Trent insisted, "We know about Dry-Creek road, but is there a faster route?"

Jessica knew that Trent would be flashing the attendant his most charming smile. He would also be casting a gaze with those intense blue eyes that could entrap anyone. She recognised the soft drop in his tone, which he always used to get his own way. But the attendant seemed impervious to his charms and shook his head.

"Really wouldn't recommend it boys. Trust me, you wanna take this other road to the South," he pointed his finger roughly again on the map.

"Look pops, we don't care what you think!" Damo blurted. His fist thumped the countertop impatiently, his broad shoulders bulging out of his sleeveless shirt. Jessica could see the flab wobble through his clothes which contradicted the muscles tone of his arms. His stocky build and short temper attributed to his intimidation. He had always been boisterous and flamboyant and Jessica certainly hadn't missed his arrogance.

The shop attendant stood up straight and folded his arms. He held his stubbly chin high and peered down his nose at the red-faced boy. Trent gestured to Damo to be quiet and attempted to regain the old man's attention.

His voice was soothing when he spoke again, "So the Dry-Creek road is the most direct way?"

The attendant peered warily at him and nodded, "She's an old dirt road but it's the only access to the North end...the turnoff is about a mile after Brighton."

"We know old-timer," Damo rolled his eyes, "I've done this trip before."

The attendant narrowed his eyes at him, "Then why you askin'?"

Damo opened his mouth to retort when Trent quickly interjected, "Just curious. Thanks for your time."

The attendant eyed Damo with a steely gaze before he turned to the cash register. He tapped the buttons and muttered, "That'll be thirty dollars."

Trent was still wearing a smug smile when he turned around and faced the girls. His mouth slowly curled down as he locked gaze with Jessica.

"Jessica," he voice was cold as he gave a stiff nod.

"Hi Trent...Damo," she replied cautiously.

Damo grunted hello as he tore open a bag of potato chips with his teeth. He spat the torn piece of wrapper to the floor, much to the attendant's disgust.

"You came alone?" Trent raised an eyebrow as he scanned the store, "No stragglers?"

Damo laughed, spraying crumbs of chips from the corner of his mouth, "Yeah, where's your little leech?"

"Don't call him that," Jessica glared.

"Trent, you said you'd make an effort," Angie grumbled.

He peered sideways at her and muttered, "Whatever."

Jessica frowned when his gaze settled upon her again. His jaw was clamped tight, his smooth skin accentuating his strong cheekbones. Turning to Angie, Jessica asked, "Can we get going? Aden's waiting."

Angie nodded and made her way to the counter to pay for the petrol. Steve lingered uncertainly, torn in obligation between his girlfriend and his best friend. Angie gestured him over and Trent shrugged and marched away with Damo behind him. He mumbled something under his breath and Damo let out a thunderous laugh as they slid out of the automatic doors.

Steve shoved his hands in his pockets and gave Jessica an awkward smile. He was looming over Angie from where he stood beside her. His tall slender build was a complete contrast to Angie's short athletic one. His strawberry red hair and freckles stood out against' Angie's tanned complexion. They were an odd looking couple but they seemed to make it work.

The boys were screaming away in Trent's Commodore when Jessica emerged from the shop. It was a relief to be greeted with Aden's face when she got back in Steve's Sedan. He wrapped an arm around her and nuzzled his face into her hair.

He wasn't a big guy, much different to the snug comfort Jessica used to feel in Trent's arms. But Aden was tender and that was all the comfort she needed. She reached up to sweep the fringe from his deep green eyes. The way he gazed at her was enough to pull her out of her funk. She leaned closer until their lips connected with a pleasurable kiss.

"Hey, save it for the tent," Steve muttered as he climbed into the driver's seat. Angie chuckled and Jessica smiled bashfully as Steve eyed them in his rear vision mirror. While the car rumbled to life, she lazed her head onto Aden's shoulder and sighed. She hoped they could survive this weekend. Trent's cold greeting had made her a little uneasy and she hated that he still had an effect on her.

As far as she was concerned, he was a shallow guy, at least when his friends were around. They'd fought for so long now that she was convinced she'd done the right thing by breaking up with him. But she couldn't deny he was still gorgeous.

She never did understand how someone so attractive and popular ever liked her in the first place. She was plain with thick sandy hair, hazel eyes, average build, average height...that was just her all over – average. Whereas Trent had striking looks that contributed strongly to his vanity.

She broke away from her thoughts when she saw them approach the town of Brighton. Trent's car was still in sight beyond them as they travelled through the busy streets. Jessica shifted nervously when they reached the outskirts of town and she saw the turn off that the shop attendant had referred to.

They'd been travelling all day and this was the last leg of their journey. She didn't know why this group had chosen to go camping at a place hundreds of miles from home. But she didn't say anything since she was just a tag-along. From what she'd heard of this state forest, it was vast and some spots were quite popular for campers. But not where they were going, if the shop attendant's advice was anything to go by.

She plopped her head back onto Aden's shoulder and closed her eyes. Being around these people sent her mind in a whirlwind of memories...her childhood friendship with Aden...intimate moments with Trent...cruel laughter and jokes...Aden's face scrunched in pain...angry accusations...

No matter how disturbing her memories, her thoughts always returned to sweet moments with Aden. Moments that started outweigh everything else...

_____________

They arrived at their destination too fast for Jessica's liking. The bumpy disturbance was warning enough when Steve turned the car onto Dry-Creek Road. He sped over the gritty track, leaving a storm of dust in their wake. Angie cautioned him to slow down but he didn't seem to be listening.

The road took them on a downhill slope, all passengers bouncing in their descent while Steve cheered. During their gradual drop, Jessica noticed another dirt track veering off their route but Steve didn't take it. He was finally forced to slow down as the road became narrow with the surrounding vegetation trying to take over. The bush was growing so thick it was barely permitting them to pass through.

The slant eventually evened out to level ground as the road wrapped around a bend. The Wilson River emerged on their right with the shrubs on their left. Jessica's stomach fluttered as the dirt road lead them into a broad clearing where Trent's car was parked. The Sedan pulled to a halt behind the Commodore that was stationed under a large tree. The tree's branches stretched out across the riverbed beside it.

"Took your time ladies!" Damo hollered as they emerged from the car.

"Shut up," Steve muttered, "Just 'cause you guys drive like maniacs!"

Jessica kept her eyes on Aden, who returned her uncertain gaze from the other side of the Sedan. Angie bustled around them to unpack, ignoring their apprehension. When Jessica finally dared to look up, she scanned their surroundings.

They were in a clearing about forty yards wide, snugly enclosed by the dense forest. The narrow road they'd travelled accompanied the riverbank until its bend was hidden by the thick bush. A large hill barricaded the clearing behind them, cluttered with shrubs and rocks.

She could see dark pockets of various caves peeking through the bushes. The largest cave was near the centre of the hill, looming over them like a watchdog. Stony boulders slanted around it at strange angles, forming a triangle shape to the cave's entrance.

Jessica's eyes continued to glide over the hill and she saw a walking trail that led all the way to the top. Parts of it weren't visible from the overhanging vegetation and her thoughts went back to the shop attendant. He'd mentioned wildlife in the area and it unnerved her. The surrounding shrubs seemed to be slowly trying to swallow the entire clearing. It was no wonder the old man had suggested the south side.

A refreshing breeze blew across her neck and Jessica turned around. The embankment was a mixture of sand and stone. Most of the clearing was bare, making it accessible for several tents, other than theirs. The water streamed delicately over the rocks along the edge of the bed, giving the area a sense of tranquillity. The surrounding trees were tall and lush, casting shadows over several parts of the embankment but leaving a warm sun spot in the centre of the clearing.

Jessica reluctantly peered at the river. Clear blue water glistened against the sun, enticing on a day as hot as this. The opposite side of the river was completely engulfed by trees. Far enough away to enjoy the solitude of their campsite.

A light chuckle of laughter wafted through the breeze, followed by the splash of water. Trent was already in the river, his terse shoulders whipping up waves to splash at his companion. There was a delighted squeal and an attractive blonde girl cringed at the water enveloping her. Jessica tightened her lips and snapped her head away.

Angie was crouched on the ground, wrestling with some tent poles and Jessica stepped over to her and whispered, "You didn't tell me Lauren was coming."

"Wasn't sure. She must've come in Trent's car," Angie shrugged, "Who cares? If anything, she might keep Trent distracted."

Jessica bit her lip and peered over her shoulder at them. Lauren had never been a close friend, more a person who lingered on the edge of their group, snubbing Jessica most of the time. She'd always been particularly friendly with Trent however. When Jessica had broken up with him, it'd been no surprise that Lauren's attention grew - like a vulture waiting to pick at a carcass.

As if the blonde beauty had heard her thoughts, Lauren started wading through the water. She pranced out of the river like she was dancing on clouds. Her slim tanned skin beaded lusciously against her white bikini. Her long damp hair flowed down her back, emphasising her well defined features. She swung her hips as she moved, her belly-button ring glinting in the sun.

"Hi guys!" she chirped. She thrust an enthusiastic wave as she bent down for her towel. Her voice was almost singing as she looked at Jessica, "How are you Jessica? It's been awhile."

"Fine," Jessica blinked at her in surprise. Maybe she'd changed?

Lauren rubbed the towel down her long body, bending over dramatically in front of the river, where Trent was watching them. Her pale blue eyes peeked up at Jessica with a malicious sparkle.

Okay, nothing's changed, Jessica thought to herself.

She stood back up and smiled sweetly, "So where's your boyfriend? Whatshisname...Alan?"

"Aden," Jessica answered coolly and she pointed to the car.

"Oh!" Laruen fluttered over in her skimpy bikini. She leaped to a halt in front of him, causing him to flinch. He peered warily at Jessica who could only give a helpless shrug in response.

"Hi Aaron, I'm Lauren," she flung out her hand and tossed Jessica a patronising look, "We haven't been properly introduced."

Aden politely shook her hand while she twirled a damp wisp of hair around her finger. She stood tall before him, her chest inches from his and she crooned, "It's so nice to finally meet you."

"We've met before," Aden replied steadily, "If memory serves me correct, you referred to me as a leech?"

Lauren's smile faltered a moment and she let out a faint chuckle, "I wouldn't say that!"

"Oh really?" Aden's voice dripped with scepticism, "My mistake then."

Lauren's face drew into a pout as he stepped passed her towards Jessica. He wrapped his arms around her waist and asked, "When do I get to see you in a bikini?"

Jessica giggled, pleased at seeing the pout growing on Lauren's face.

"Hey guys, these tents won't pitch themselves," Steve called out from the car. Aden released Jessica and they made their way over to help set up camp. Jessica didn't notice Lauren sulk away, nor did she notice Trent emerge from the river. She was beginning to feel a false hope that this weekend might go easier than expected. She couldn't have been more wrong.


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1634 Reviews


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Wed Sep 04, 2013 6:04 pm
Deanie wrote a review...



Hi Alora!

So this was pretty long, but it was my pleasure to read it. I also read the prologue, because it helps to read it fully, I believe. I liked reading this, and I didn't notice any technical mistakes, so that's great :) I'm also interested in seeing how the prologue will relate to their story.

This was a good introduction, and you're really good with descriptions! I can see the details and I can imagine the characters. It would've been nice if we could've been told what exactly had driven Trent and Jessica apart. Was it simply because Jessica saw his true character revealed? But then it mentioned that throughout the argument, that's when his true character came out. So maybe it would be nice to know exactly what happened. It might add a nice twist to the story later on as well. I don't know what you're going for here yet though ^^

There was something you wrote that sounded a little off: "The way he gazed at her was enough to pull her out of her funk." Here I think the word 'funk' seemed a little out of place. Maybe a synonym might fit here better, such as 'sulk', 'mood' or whatever comes up in the thesaurus. Oh, and I loved how you used the word estrangement. Just fit perfectly :D

Another thing you wrote: "When Jessica had broken up with him, it'd been no surprise that Lauren's attention grew - like a vulture waiting to pick at a carcass." <333 Wonderful line right there. Lovely description. Just... loved it ^^

Also, Jessica seems to think an awful lot about Trent even though she's supposed to have moved on and fallen for Aden by now. Yes, she probably does have her thoughts stirring, but even when she's having close and personal moments with Aden she is still thinking about Trent. Now that's a little too much for me, when she's supposedly over and in love again.

As for the characters, and interesting group you have here. Seven main characters, some with different intentions than others. I wonder how this will play out. Also, nice ending to the chapter there. Some foreshadowing going on :)

I'll go on and read the next chapter now then!

Deanie x




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Sun Sep 01, 2013 6:30 am
Liaya wrote a review...



Righto! Well, I think this is an impressive beginning to a story. It's remarkable how well you've portrayed the characters so far and I think that is very important. Your descriptions are well done, too, generally giving just the right amount of imagery to generate a picture without getting boring. Wish I could do that! I'm curious as to whether or not Jessica was invited as a genuine gesture of re-kindled friendship, too, and if the group has any diabolical plans for her boyfriend. Talking about the boyfriend, I like that he wasn't pulled in by Lauren flaunting herself at him! Anyway, you've written a beginning here with enticing characters and I think you're very talented. Keep up the good work!




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Wed Aug 28, 2013 12:28 am
alilovessandy says...



congradulations. this was a great start. i must say i am impressed by the length because i cant seam to write long chapters. kepp at it





“I'd much rather be someone's shot of whiskey than everyone's cup of tea.”
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