Young Writers Society

Hey there! Cailey here for a review on behalf of the Green Lanterns.

Alright, so I love Shadows (in fact, one of the characters of my novel is called the Shadow.) It's such an intriguing concept and there is just so much you can do with shadows. So, with that being said, I think you should play around with a shadow some more.

This is just telling us what a shadow is, and we all know that. (Well... maybe there are people who don't know what a shadow is, but most of us...)

The question is, why are you writing a poem about a shadow? I know you have a reason, probably a really good one. So now, show us the answer. Use your poetry to say something, not just to tell us what a shadow is. Maybe you can make a point with you writing, like "it isn't fair that the shadow can only live during the day" maybe it's something deeper like "we all have a shadow inside of us that blocks light" or a more hopeful "the shadow proves the sun shines."

I don't know what it is you're trying to say here. That's up to you to decide, and it's up to you to find your voice and come up with a unique way to say whatever you are saying.

Don't get me wrong, this isn't a bad poem. In fact, it's really well written and the rhythm is good and you even did a little bit with rhymes.

It's just, this isn't very unique. It's common knowledge. Try and write some more emotion into it, and a lot more details and imagery. Don't get caught up on rhymes, either, just say what you mean to say and let your voice ring out through every word.

I hope this helps! Let me know if you need anything. Keep on writing!

Hello, NightWolf here to review your poem!
I was drew in by the first line. It was short, sweet, but so elusive. Immediately, I wanted to know what had no face, what it meant. Then I read the second, and I was like "What's this about?" You created two hooks, and I, a very curious fish, ate both.

The flow is unbroken, which is great. I kept reading without tripping on any lines, so well done!

My favourite line is
"Tired from staying in a void place."
I had so many ideas about it.

My only grammatical issue is, shouldn't there be commas instead of periods? I don't write poetry a lot, so, I don't really know.

The imagery you used was really good. Well done!

I look forward to reading more.

Hey Imaginator17,

Fellow team mate FCS here for a quick review! Alright, so first of all, it was a really great poem. The idea was really cool, and the way you put it together was nice as well. Okay, so when you wrote
"Tired from looking for a place stay"
Maybe you should add to after place making it,
Tired from looking for a place to stay.
I assume you meant to put that, but whatever, I'll use the characters to say it. I also noticed you switched on and off as far as rhyming goes. I mean, face and place, and up and cup rhyme, but everything else doesn't. I'd say to try to stick to rhyme, or no rhyme. Sorry the review is soooo short. I just woke up and am not awake yet! XD
Happy reviewing and keep writing!
-FCS

Hey, Runawaylove here to review your poem!

The thought is nice and I really liked it. It would be better if there was a bit more to it. As this poem rhymes, I think it should have a rhyme scheme. The structure is not proper but the plus point is that the poem flows nicely. The punctuation is not proper. Every line has a full-stop. A full stop is used to end an idea and move on to another idea or stanza. You could use commas and semi colons. A line spacing after every line makes the stanzas vague. I can't even understand if the poem has two stanzas.

"With no face or place,
The shadow proceeds to move behind the shape.
Tired from looking for a place to stay;
Tired from staying in a void state.
The shadow hopes that this shape ends up being it's true base."

It should be more like this.

"Tired from looking for a place stay."

This line should be: "Tired from looking for a place TO stay."

Overall, the theme of the poem is good. You need to work a little on punctuation and your works will be perfect. When a poem is divided into stanzas it helps separate the different ideas and looks more organized. Other than that this was a good read and I enjoyed it. PM me if you write more. Keep writing! Hope this was helpful.

Hi there

I really love your way of writing poems, your structure is quite haphazard yet seems to flow very well.
Your grammar and spelling is perfect, Kudos for that.

One criticism I have is the line "There is nothing left imitating the cup". To me it would flow better if you changed it to "There is nothing left to imitate". It flows much better, as the current line feels like it is a forced rhyme. And considering only one other pair of lines rhyme it seems out of place. Of course I am not the writer and you should probably ignore every word I'm saying.

Overall I really liked your poem and hope you continue to write more on here because I'd love to read them

If you need any help or another review then please don't hesitate to PM me

Hello . I really like this, it has a very nice feeling to it. I like how your words are put together. They have this subtle emotion behind them. The stories of shadows told here is really true yet sad also. Its good when a piece of work actually makes you feel something. You give the shadow this personality also, which I find very cool.
Keep up the good work .