z

Young Writers Society


12+

Sheridan Holmes: A Study in Red PART 3

by WillowCutz


Eli read nonstop through the week, she didn't even make a fire. She had to finish these books. She even brought them out when Sheri evacuated the building from who knows what.

It seemed to be paying off. Not only could she tell you how a cadaver died, she could tell you, just by looking at a blood stain, how long ago they'd died from within a two-week period. Nothing, though, could prepare her for Sheri and hers first case together.

***

"Eli!" Sheri yelled through 4A's door, waking up the whole floor. Eli woke with a start, she checked the cheap clock on her bedside table. It was 4:35 AM. "Eli, wake up. It's time to go to work." Eli rubbed her eyes. There was a light surrounding the door of her dark bedroom. Sheri must have let herself in.

Eli pushed the covers off and opened the bedroom door to see Sheri, chipper as ever, in her black skinny jeans and black tank top zipped up in her leather jacket. She was standing in her living room. With a her eyes glued to her iPhone, tapping her extra long boots against the hard wood floor.

Eli was still in her pajama bottoms and purple T-shirt. Her normally straight brown hair was knotted in a bush across her face.

"What's going on?" Eli yawned, brushing her hair back.

Sheri looked up and tossed Eli a long navy blue coat. "We're leaving, I got a text from officer Lestrade, there's been a murder." Eli put the coat on over her PJ's and searched for her blue crocs.

***

"Where is this murder?" Eli asked finally after ten minutes in Sheri's red mustang, which was going a little fast for her taste.

"Not far from here, you know about school 89?"

"The one they shut down because of budget cuts?"

"That's the place." Sheri turned right hard, banging Eli's head on the window.

"Ow!" Eli rubbed her head angrily.

"We're here." Sheri pulled her keys out and leaped out of the car's convertible roof.

"Where did you get your license?" Eli got out after her and sped to keep up with Sheri's longer strides. In the light of the street lamps she could see the old brick building was surrounded by police cars and yellow tape which Sheri stepped under without a second glance. Eli tried to follow, but an officer with a name tag that read "Stevens" stopped her.

"Who are you?" he asked, holding an arm out in front of her.

"Mark!" Sheri yelled turning around on her heel and walking back to the caution tape.

"Oh, you're back." he said angrily, "I thought you weren't allowed back on the scene because they finally realized you were wacko!" Sheri reached into her coat pocket, where Eli knew she kept her pocket knife, but then she stopped and took a deep breath.

"I'm all clear as of today." she said.

"As if!" Sheri calmly put her hand in her other pocket and pulled out a folded piece of paper.

"My papers." She said handing them to the officer. He looked at them with a surprised face.

"Fine." he said, "But who's the kid?"

"I'm twenty-six." Eli muttered.

"Dr. Watson, here," Sheri pointed to Eli, "Is my assistant."

"Why do you need an assistant?"

"Because I look crazy talking to myself." Mark laughed.

"You are crazy." Sheri looked angry, but she lifted the tape for Eli to come through.

"And yet I was called to help you guys." she looked the officer up and down, until finally saying, "How's your addiction going?"

"Fine. I'm up to thirty days." He said uncomfortably.

"No you're not. I smell alcohol, and your left thumb is still red. You're at two hours." Eli walked under and followed Sheri in, ignoring Mark's frowns of disapproval.

The school looked like any other school, plaster white walls, gray lockers, the classic echoing floor tiles. The only difference was the spiderwebs and mold creeping over the once busy halls and the officers guarding the doors.

Sheri seemed to know exactly where she was going. She walked the halls with the confidence of someone who belonged on the crime scene. She breathed in the dust and smiled. It looked, disturbingly, like she missed her murders. She stopped at the open principal's office. A man in a blue police uniform was standing at the door waiting for them. He had graying hair, but a good amount of muscle on his arms.

"Ah, Sheridan." he said as Sheri went right past him with a calm face into the crime scene, pulling a pair of plastic gloves on. "Who's this?" he looked at Eli, who must of looked out of place in her Unicorn pajama pants, purple T-shirt, blue crocs, and Sheri's long coat.

"Eli Watson." she said, shaking his hand.

"Detective Lestrade." he said, "Isn't Eli a boy's name?"

"Yes, my dad thought it was a better name than Ellie."

"Of course, and, if I may ask, why are you wearing pajamas?"

"Sheri wouldn't let me change when she woke me up."

"Of course, Sheri can be a little excited about these sorts of things-"

"Quit yapping." Sheri said, looking over a body on spread across the cheap carpet.

Eli walked in after Lestrade. The scene in front of her was not completely new to her, but it was definitely not a sight she'd wanted to see. There was the body of a young woman, in approximately her early thirties. She was wearing a red jacket over a charcoal dress. She had nails painted the same shade of red and a red headband separating her dirty blonde hair from her bangs. It was the corpse of a anchor woman on channel four news. Her name was Susie Tenn, from what Eli knew of her she was the newest addition to the channel, only in her second year, and not all that popular.

But Sheri knew a lot more.

After a long look, circling the corpse, pausing to kneel down and check smaller details, and once stopping to look at a slip of paper in Susie's pocket, she had all that she needed.

"Susie Tenn, anchorwoman for channel four news, she was engaged to someone."

"I didn't know she was engaged." Eli said.

"She is now," Sheri tapped the ring on the right hand of the corpse, "On her way back from a date with a man named Ted Fisher, she had a salad and a red wine. I'm smelling two aftershaves, the killer is male and wears old spice, disgusting." she paused to narrow her eyes at a spot on Susie's arm. There was a red line on the edge of her arm, and a drip of blood staining the carpet. "She's facing the desk." Sheri looked back at the secretary desk. "Eli tell me the cause of death."

Sheri walked behind the desk and inspected the drawers. Eli saw no choice but to go closer to the body and look for any injury. She kneeled next to Susie's corpse. She racked her brain for answers, nervous that she'd forgotten them. But it came as soon as she checked the body, still sickened by the feel of the cold skin.

"Poison?" Eli asked after looking at the throat, "Was she poisoned?"

"What about it seems out of place though?" Sheri asked. Eli's stomach felt like it was going to burst, she looked back at the body.

"There are no other injuries, she took the poison on her own will."

Sheri nodded, pulling a drawer open. Eli was relieved. "Rachel. Who's Rachel?" she asked.

Lestrade and Eli walked to the desk where Sheri was standing. In the drawer was a piece of paper with the letters: R-A-C-H-E written on it in browning blood.

"She didn't finish writing, the killer must have come back before she could finish. There's a stain on her dress from where she tried to hide the cut." Sheri picked a reddened staple from the desk.

"So what, he left his captive in the office alone-"

"Without a pen." Sheri added.

"Right. He left her here alone and she didn't try to escape?" Sheri nodded.

"He must not have been far-" Eli started.

"And she had time to write out most of Rachel in her own blood? No, he must have been threatening someone she cared about."

"Ted?" Lestrade suggested.

"Maybe...Find out who Rachel is..." Sheri stopped, her gaze piercing the wall. For second she stood there watching the wall and then... "Where's her purse." she said finally.

"Purse?" Eli asked.

"Yes, her purse. She was on a date and she doesn't have a purse on her."

"Maybe Ted was paying." Lestrade suggested.

"No, she'd still have a purse with her. A red one in fact."

"Why red?"

"Lestrade." she sighed, "Use your eyes, red jacket, red nails, red headband, red purse."

"The killer probably has it." Eli said.

"Had it." Sheri corrected. "The killer went to throw out her purse when he left. That's why she didn't call the police. She didn't have her phone or her checkbook pen. But that still means she couldn't leave. What did that murderer tell her?" Sheri looked around the room to see if she missed something. "What have you got on those two murders from this month."

"The other ones?" Sheri nodded, inspecting the doorframe. "Less than you gave us."

"You mean this is a serial murder?" Eli asked.

"It would appear so." Sheri told her, "Three murders this month, all of them with the same poison and same mysterious disappearance. And none of the victims had any correlation...Interesting."

"What?" Sheri scratched the doorframe lightly with her fingernail.

"Mud..." she paused a second, her eyes closed, "I know where the bag is." she ran out the door and down the hall, leaving Lestrade and Eli back in the office.

"So why are you here?" Lestrade asked.

"She asked me." Eli stared at the body, her eyes were still open.

"What, you mean she asked you if you wanted to look at a dead person and you came?"

"Kinda."

"That's a first."

"What do you mean a first? This is so awesome." Lestrade laughed.

"Sheri doesn't exactly have friends."

"What do you mean, everyone has friends."

"Not her, it seems like these cases like these are her only interaction with the world." Eli knew what he meant. In all her time on Maple street she hadn't once seen Sheri talk to anyone but her and Linda. "The thing is, she could be designing spacecrafts, or winning olympic medals, or taking over the world. And she's here solving murders with some kid."

"I'm twenty-six."

"We're all kids to her."

"Got it!" Sheri said, running back down the hall holding a red leather handbag in her hand. "But something's missing."

"What? Car keys, phone, money?" Sheri stepped back into the office, not even a hint of fatigue in her breathing.

"Lipstick." the two of them stared at her confused, "Look, fresh coat of lipstick on her, no lipstick in her bag."

"So?" Lestrade asked.

"Susie was smart enough to leave a message for us in her blood, what if when she was taken she dropped her lipstick as a sign to where we should look."

"So we have to search the city for lipstick?" Eli wondered.

"No, just here to where ever her date was."

"So all we have to go on is Rachel and lipstick?" Eli asked. Sheri nodded proudly.

"I've had less. Now, we know Rachel is a name, but what does the name mean?"

"The name of the murderer?" Eli guessed.

"No, it wouldn't be. Would you tell the person you're about to kill your name? No, Rachel is someone different, a friend, a daughter, someone she knew we'd need to know." She held her face as she thought. "Have your team look for Rachel and do a look for fingerprints on the bag." she set the purse down on the desk and pulled her plastic gloves off. "See if Ted has any idea about where to look for the lipstick."

The next day Sheri knocked on Eli's door. It was about three thirty when she came by. Eli was reading up on forensics in an effort to keep her new job, Sheri had already given her the money for looking over the crime scene with her.

"Eli, I need your help." Sheri said.

Eli set down the textbook and answered the door. Sheri was standing there with a a good looking man in his thirties wearing a nice suit. As soon as the door was open, Sheri barged right through, the man following her like a lost puppy.

"What's going on?" Eli asked.

"This is Ted Fisher." Sheri told her.

"Susie's fiancé?" Sheri nodded. Ted sat down on the couch. "What's he doing here?"

"He's here as a witness, you didn't think your job was going to be that easy."

"So we're asking him about Susie? Isn't that a bit insensitive?"

"What do you mean?" Eli was stunned by her answer. For all her intelligence she was rather blind to matters like this.

"He just found out his girlfriend is dead and you want him to tell you about her? It just seems a little soon." Sheri shrugged.

"He'll live." Sheri sat down on the couch opposite Ted and motioned for Eli to follow. "So, Ted, why'd you kill her?" Ted's eyes widened and tears hit his face.

"What the heck Sheri!"

"It makes things go faster." Sheri muttered to Eli.

"I don't care, we aren't causing this guy emotional distress." Sheri sighed.

"Fine..." Sheri slouched in her seat.

"Ted, are you okay?" Eli asked.

Ted sniffed, his eyes already red from tears. "I'm fine." he pulled a tissue out of his pocket and wiped his face.

"May we ask you a few questions?"

"Sure." Ted sighed.

"Sheri?" Sheri sat up.

"Okay, where did you last see Susie?"

"At Chef's, we were on a date. I proposed to her." he stifled a tear and cleared his throat.

"Her car was parked at her house, how was she getting home?"

"She said she was gonna call a cab."

"That should be in her phone, right?" Eli asked.

"Yeah, but it wasn't." Sheri reached into her pocket and pulled out a beaten up iPhone. "Last calls were to Ted right before their date. So we know she didn't call a cab."

"Then what stopped her from calling a cab?" Eli asked.

"Exactly when did you last see her?" Sheri asked.

"I was going to bring her home," he said his voice slowed by his weak attempts to stop crying, "But my sister called and asked me to pick up a few things for my mom."

"Your mother is in the hospital?"

"Yes, she had a kidney stone and is recovering from surgery. Anyway, I asked her if that was okay and she said she'd be calling a cab."

"So you left before her?" he nodded, "Who was your waiter."

"I don't know, some guy." Sheri closed her eyes, breathing like she was trying not to rip his head off.

"Why does no one check the name tag anymore?" she muttered to herself, "What did this guy look like?" Ted shrugged.

"He had really short blonde hair, and he was about my height, and....Oh! He had a tattoo of a star on his arm."

"Ah, Marcus Reid. Not him then..." Sheri stared at a wall again, not moving a muscle. Eli tried very hard to not disturb Sheri's thought, but Ted was not quite as used to Sheri's ticks.

"What's she doing?"

Sheri's head snapped back to him. "Thinking!" she hissed, "Now shut up." Ted slouched down in his seat nervously as Sheri went back to staring.

"Did she see someone she knew there?" she suddenly asked.

"Not that I heard of."

"Then why no cab. Eli what would you do if you had no car to drive home in?"

"I'd get a cab." Sheri glared at her.

"Use your imagination, Eli! Say you have no car, no money for a cab, no friends offering to give you a ride. What would you do?"

Eli shrugged. Sheri almost looked like she wanted to club Eli over her head, but then she closed her eyes and sat crisscross applesauce on the couch, her hands folded like she was praying. "Ted leave." she said suddenly, and then went back to thinking.

"Should I just leave?" he asked awkwardly.

"I don't think she'll notice either way, but she doesn't have any other questions for you."


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1634 Reviews


Points: 67548
Reviews: 1634

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Fri Aug 09, 2013 7:56 pm
Deanie wrote a review...



Hey there again,

Another brilliantly written chapter. The characters are still amazing and I'm still loving your realistic dialogue. You're a really great writer, y'know. Okay, I have a few nitpicks here. One of them is the first line which I really didn't like for two reasons. Let's take a look at it:

Eli read nonstop through the week, she didn't even make a fire that week, she had to finish these books.

The first is that this line is too long. It needs to split in half by a full stop, not commas. And in this sentence you use "week" twice, which made it a bit samey. Seeing as it was the first line to the chapter, it upset me a little. I think first and last lines are pretty important. My suggestion is to change it to something like this.

Eli read nonstop through the week; she didn't even start any fires. She had to finish these books.

Nitpick number two: "Because I look crazy talking to myself." Mark laughed.

"You are crazy." Sheri looked angry, but she lifted the tape for Eli to come through.

Having these on two separate lines confused me a bit as to who was speaking. Maybe lay it out like... Seeing as we know Sheri was speaking before, this works.

"Because I look crazy talking to myself."
"You are crazy," Mark laughed. Sheri looked angry... etc.

That's it for nitpicking. There was random speech marks at the end of the whole chapter though. ^^ If you're a perfectionist you might want to rid yourself of those.

Keep writing! And do let me know on my wall or something if you post anymore. I would be happy to read it.

Deanie x




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394 Reviews


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Thu Aug 08, 2013 2:50 am
KnightTeen wrote a review...



Great as always. As far as I can see, there are no major grammar mistakes to mention. Except maybe this:

Eli read nonstop through the week, she didn't even make a fire that week, she had to finish these books.


To me, this sentence doesn't make sense. You basically took three little sentences and strung them together to make a longer one, with no transition whatsoever. If I was writing this sentence, I would have said something along the lines of:

Eli read nonstop throughout the week, not even stopping to make fires, knowing that she had to finish those books.

A little transition goes a long way.

There were really no other mistakes, except for some areas that needed a little more detail for clarification.

Sheri nodded, pulling a drawer open. Eli was relieved. "Rachel. Who's Rachel?" she asked.


Which one of the girls/women are asking this question?

"What have you got on those two murders from this month."


This is the first time you mention these murders, it just seemed a little random.

Can't wait for the next section/chapter!

Happy Writing!
HT





If you can't get out of your comfort zone, you'll never find what you're looking for. Don't make things quick and easy to feel better short term. Make a change and then you'll feel better longer term.
— Frinderman