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Teachers Lounge - Chapter 3

by tronks


A line of students was approaching my classroom, and I recognized Alyssa's face among them. My heart dropped as Alyssa passed me to enter the class, deep in conversation with the boy beside her. I stared at her until she passed and concluded she at least had Mr. Thomas's nose. That much was obvious upon quick inspection.

The class sat around the whiteboard as they always did. As soon as the bell rung out, the students silenced their conversations, looking to me for today's class activity.

"What's today's assignment, Ms. Norton?" a student asked, catching Alyssa's attention.

"Your white board is blank." Alyssa said with her hand raised. "Are we doing something special today?"

I nodded, grinning. "We're going to work on the play. I finally found what we'll be doing for it."

Some of the girls squealed. Another student raised his hand, eyes wide. "What are we gonna do?"

"Mr. Thomas volunteered to write a script for us. For the time being, let's break into pairs to practice our singing."

The students jumped up and began loudly forming pairs. I wasn't used to seeing them so excited over a class activity. After several minutes they were already paired up, and I gave them songs we had learned the week previous to practice with.

I had gone around the room to all the pairings, and by the time I reached Alyssa's I'd forgotten that Alyssa was in this class. Her pale cheeks were pink from singing.

"Ms. Norton, hi!"

"Hello Alyssa." I smiled. "And I see Derek's with you."

Derek, the boy next to her, shrunk away slightly. He had always been shy in the few years I'd known him, so I didn't take offense. I sat down beside them.

"Why did you split us in pairs?" Alyssa questioned.

"I'm trying to find my best singers." I admitted with a selfish sparkle in my eyes.

Derek sat up a bit, flattening down his brown hair with the palm of his hand. "U-um, Ms. Norton...?"

"Yes, Derek?"

"I was wondering if I could have a solo part?"

The boy's voice was so soft that I almost didn't catch what he said. "Maybe you can. I'm giving everyone a chance to audition."

"Did you give Alyssa a solo part?"

Without hesitation I answered truthfully, and neither students took well to it. Alyssa became pale as Derek turned to snap at her. "I knew you got a part! You lied to me!"

"I didn't want to hurt your feelings. Please, please, please don't be mad, Derek!"

He pouted and crossed his arms. "I wasn't going to be mad about it."

"Derek, you'll get a chance to audition, I promise." I intervened and brought their focus back on to practicing. Derek wasn't upset by the time class ended, and he and Alyssa left glued together just as they had come.

It was already time for lunch, but I didn't have an appetite. The play was on my mind, and I was already curious what progress Mr. Thomas had made with it. I headed for the cafeteria where I had saw him yesterday, and upon entering I noticed him right away.

He was slowly walking down the aisles in between tables of students. Confused, I glanced toward a table near the kitchen. Three teachers sat, on cafeteria duty. There were always a few teachers on duty, and I felt a pang of sympathy realizing Mr. Thomas probably never was on duty to begin.

I started to walk his way when I noticed an older boy stick out his foot. As if trained in the art, he had waited for Mr. Thomas' cane to pass by. With no warning signs visible to him, Mr. Thomas stumbled against the student's foot and fell.

Laughter came from the older students. The teachers in charge glanced over, but made no attempt to discipline the boy who had caused the mess. By the time I had made my way to him, Mr. Thomas was already at his feet.

"Are you okay? That was a nasty fall." I picked up his cane and handed it to him. He snatched it, straightening out his shirt and tie.

"I'm fine, kiddo. Which brat tripped me?"

"Um..." I glanced at the group of 5th graders who were still laughing. "I'll handle it. One second."

When I approached the 5th graders, their relaxed postures remained. They were happy I had joined the party.

"Ms. Norton!" one of them shouted. "Did you see Mr. Thomas fall? It was perfect!"

"You can't bully a teacher like that." I eyed Todd, the one I had seen tripping Mr. Thomas. "If it happens again, you'll--"

"Whatever, Ms. Norton." Todd snapped. "You used to be cool, but now you're just as stuck up as Mr. Thomas."

The students giggled. Christ, had I really been viewed as one of the kids? Embarrassed, I scolded them louder than I had before, storming off without a farewell.

"I didn't know you were much for discipline." Mr. Thomas commented as I returned. "To be honest, it never seemed like the students respected you."

Still irritated, I ignored him and delved into a complaint of my own. "If you hadn't been out here, you wouldn't have been tripped. Why are you here when there are teachers on duty already?"

He scoffed. "I'd rather be here than the teachers lounge."

"We're better off eating lunch there, though. I wanted to know if you'd done anything for the play yet."

"I have, but...can it wait?"

I glanced back as Mr. Thomas averted his attention back to the student tables. He got closer to me, leaning in to whisper. "Alyssa didn't see me fall, right?"

"Mr. Thomas, please." I mumbled. "The whole cafeteria saw it, trust me. Can we go now?"

"I'll go speak with her. Will you wait a moment?"

He shifted to turn but I stopped him, bringing him close enough to hear my voice. "Hold up, Mr. Thomas." I whispered. "You can't talk to her so much when she isn't even your student. It'll look strange, don't you get that?"

"She was my student last year. It's not strange at all."

I got behind him and pushed him. He lagged along without much of a fight, and soon he stepped off on his own. I got to his side and noticed he was much taller than me. It felt like he was looking down on me.

I knocked on the lounge door before stepping aside. Several teachers gaped when Mr. Thomas entered. I trailed behind him, waving shortly to Mr. Smith.

A teacher stood from his seat to make room for us, and all the others watched Mr. Thomas' every move. The gentle sound of light rain could be heard in the silence.

Clack, clack, clack.

Mr. Thomas settled into a chair, and I followed to the chair beside him. "Since this kid's been nagging, I decided to write you a script. I'm open to any ideas your students may have mentioned."

"He means me." I added, certain that nobody knew who Mr. Thomas was referring to.

"First thing's first..." Mr. Smith said. "Do you expect us to cooperate after how you've acted all these years?"

"You speak for the rest as if they're drones." Mr. Thomas frowned thoughtfully.

Nobody moved or spoke. Mr. Thomas sighed. "Okay, I'll admit it. I was rude."

"Rude doesn't even begin to--"

Knocks at the door interrupted Mr. Smith. Annoyed, he called out to welcome our guest, and the door creaked open.

I saw Alyssa's face peek in, looking like a frightened owl. I was so surprised that I didn't realize Mr. Thomas was unaware she was here. He tapped his thumbs patiently against his cane until he heard Alyssa's voice.

"Hi, Mr. Thomas. Are you okay...?"

He jumped, blushing. "A-Alyssa?"

"I saw those kids trip you, and it looked like you fell really hard."

"Oh, no. I'm okay. There's no need to worry."

"Should I sing you something?"

"You really don't have to."

"You are my sunshine, my only sunshine. You make me happy when skies are grey."

"She's got some pipes on her!" Mr. Smith interrupted with a grin. "Who taught you to sing like that?"

Alyssa had turned as pink as Mr. Thomas, and her frizzy hair was ruined by the humidity. "It was Ms. Norton."

The room averted its attention to me and I smiled, finishing Alyssa's song.

"You'll never know dear, how much I love you. Please don't take my sunshine away."

Clapping echoed around the room. Even Mr. Thomas had lifted his hands to clap. After I sat down I noticed how depressed Mr. Thomas had become, slumped slightly over his cane. Alyssa's goodbye wasn't cherished as it usually was; she was only beckoned away.

"Let's begin then, shall we?"


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Wed Aug 07, 2013 12:27 am
Hannah wrote a review...



Hey, Tronks! I'm here after also reading chapters one and two, so I'm kind of rolling all of my feedback so far into one review. Hopefully it will be helpful to you!

From what I remember from the first chapter: I liked the way you revealed he was blind. You did it with the action and interaction of another character instead of simply stating it, and that reveals a mature knowledge about the effect of different kinds of writing! So that was awesome. What was odd was that toward the end, the other teacher started talking very casually. I think I remember her using the word "totally", and at first I wasn't even sure that she was a teacher. I mean, the environment in a work place is really tough to nail down or describe. Where I work, yeah, there are some teachers who are left out of the loop but the rest have their weekly meetings and confer in doorways, etc. You're able to create your own unique environment, of course, but remember they're professional. (:

From the second chapter: Eek! Yeah, I'm not sure I believe the environment. Teachers can be friends -- of course. And working together without malice makes a good working environment, but I think there might be enough dissenting minds that it wouldn't seem like a big blob of teachers against one or two, and I don't believe that they'd speak with such malice directly TO Ms. Norton. Maybe behind her back.

I like that you made sure there was a way the teacher could get through to Mr. Thomas. Obviously, if he were just grumpy grumpy grumpy one hundred percent of the time, he'd be a pretty flat character and we'd get tired of him pretty soon. So it's good that you gave him some depth with his family story.

I'm not quite sure he'd have revealed it so soon, though, and especially not like this:

I want to impress her and show her how much I can fix up the play.


You know that's his motivation, but people rarely directly state their motivation. Sometimes they don't know it well enough to package it in a neat sentence, and other times they just don't want anyone to know. There's no reason he would trust this teacher enough to SO QUICKLY let her in.

Maybe if the picture were found accidentally after they ran into each other, that would still allow Ms. Norton to figure out the secret, but not break Mr. Thomas's character and let him warm up to her at a believable pace.

Anyway, we're finally on to chapter three!

"You can't bully a teacher like that." I eyed Todd, the one I had seen tripping Mr. Thomas. "If it happens again, you'll--"

"Whatever, Ms. Norton." Todd snapped. "You used to be cool, but now you're just as stuck up as Mr. Thomas."

The students giggled. Christ, had I really been viewed as one of the kids? Embarrassed, I scolded them louder than I had before, storming off without a farewell.


Okay. So it is totally believable that a new teacher would have no firm handle on her students, but I don't believe the people involved would really speak like this. First of all, using the word "bully" kind of implies that Mr. Thomas and the kid are peers. Usually bullying happens on the same social level, so by her using the word bully, she's lowering the idea of Mr. Thomas.

I think what might save this moment would be if you could convincingly write her second round of scolding, so we believed her strength and that she'd accomplished something. Otherwise, it's so easy to skip over the "scolded them louder than I had before" and think she hadn't done anything at all to respond to that TERRIBLE disrespect. Wouldn't they be sent to the principal's office? Given detentions? Told to call their mothers and explain what had happen? Something more than scolding -- that teacher could have really been hurt!

I also don't understand why Alyssa would search out Mr. Thomas in the teacher's lounge OR feel comfortable enough to sing in front of them -- OR offer to sing for him to make him feel better for that matter. It just doesn't ring true to me. D:

What I do like, though, is that you are drawn to exploring these difficult relationships between people of different social standing, different ages, and different experiences, around a relatively simple task: make a play. But it seems like you're dedicated to bringing out lots of deeper issues as well. For example, I loved the moment in the music class with Derek, because it showed how a teacher's effect could potentially change students' relationships AND how Alyssa was humble about her talents, not giving up her friendships with people who were less talented, etc. Those are really amazing writing instincts!

Please PM me if you have any questions or comments about this review.
I'd also like to read more when you post it~
Good luck and keep writing!




tronks says...


Thank you, this feedback does help me. I had intended to explore different relationships in this piece. Alyssa being so open to Mr. Thomas will be explained a little later, but it has to do with their relationship when he was her teacher. I appreciate that you critiqued all of it and I feel like I can tear it apart even more now.



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Tue Aug 06, 2013 12:29 am
deleted17 wrote a review...



Oh wow. I can see that you are improving with each chapter that you post. I really like the way you write and I think that this is a very unique story that you have. I really cannot believe that most people wouldn't give this a second thought, whereas I was intrigued by the story.

I feel really bad for Mr. Thomas, and I really hope that Ms. Norton would tell the rest of the teachers off eventually. This is a good reaction, seeing as how I am getting attached to the characters. I love Alyssa's innocence with all of this, yet it all just revolves around her. I honestly do hope that something good happens. I hope for more in the future.

With All Do Respect
Whole Some Reader





Here's to the crazy ones. The misfits. The rebels. The troublemakers. The round pegs in the square holes. The ones who see things differently. They're not fond of rules. And they have no respect for the status quo. You can quote them, disagree with them, glorify or vilify them. About the only thing you can't do is ignore them. Because they change things. They push the human race forward. And while some may see them as the crazy ones, we see genius. Because the people who are crazy enough to think they can change the world, are the ones who do.
— -Apple Inc.