Acceptance

All I have to say is that this is beautiful. ^-^

Hey,

First of all... I love it! It makes the reader think about this world, and most of the stories they've read.

"then, aree you so perfect?" Uh I hope "aree" is a typo, and you meant "are".

What made you write this? Is this just a thought that came to your mind? If so, good for you!


Raven.

Hi, this is lyricalrebel here to make a review of your work entitled "Acceptance".
Your poem is beautiful and it shows deflects the fact that only the perfect ones get to have their happy ending. It is kind of showing reality, too, in a way that not everyone you'll like will be perfect. It also teaches a lesson about discrimination among people
The only thing I could criticize though is to fix the flow of the poem by breaking the lines to have equal beats. All in all, your poem went well. Keep it up and I hope to read more poems from you..

Hey there!
This is a really cool poem. In fact, I really like it
You use acceptance to describe a relationship, and you make acceptance into categories, like fake acceptance, the world's acceptance, and then your acceptance. I feel like it would be cool if you added something in your poem about the difference between acceptance and tolerance, just to show the importance of acceptance over tolerance. Although, here you use acceptance in a romantic way, so tolerance isn't as big of an issue.

'It's okay for us to be different

but only the type of different

that's in the movies.' - I know 'seen it in the movies' is a popular phrase, but I think here it should be more wide and broad, the generally portrayed sense of difference, so the term 'movies' might serve better as 'media' or something like 'fairytales', because everyone knows what happens in fairytales (not sure how accurate that term would be though, just th sense of the wellknown-ness of the word, so I'd go with media).

'You're the ugliness in the world

but also everything that's beautiful.'

- I don't usually like it when people say something about someone that very blatantly contradicts what they just said. I know this probably means that this 'you' character appears ugly to the world but is also everything beautiful, which is an appearance of how the world doesn't accept them but maybe someone else does or they accept everything, but still. I feel like you could definitely convey this point without the whole contradiction, maybe by changing a few of the words around it, like 'You're the ugliness (to) the world, but you're everything that's beautiful (to something/somebody else)'.

Hmm the last line I wasn't sure about, because you're talking about acceptance, and now you're talking about love, and sewing you together. That's sweet, and acceptance is part of love, but I'd think you'd end it with something more obviously acceptance related. Like, something about how you or they are imperfect, but you accept them, and you love them the way they are. Something sweet like that. Although, on second thought, you do it just fine.

I really liked ... like, all of it xD
So good job and keep writing!

~ Sarra ~

Hey KillYouWithWords,

Don't worry, I'm not gonna tear this apart. Why? Because I really like it. Usually I'd just make this a comment, but it's review day so I'm going to drag it out. So, please bear with me. Thanks. Alright. Overall it's great. I might not agree with it, but you wrote it beautifully and I'm almost convinced that........ahem. So, for a first draft it's great. UGH! I don't have anything negative to say, so I'm like, ummmmm what next?? So, yeah stay strong and keep writing! Love it! I really hope this was long enough! Happy reiewing!

-FCS

I'm sorry that my review was so simple and really didn't do the job well. So I have removed it. If you got a chance to read it then I hope you understand though. Your poem here really is very well done for a first draft. You really killed me with the words...
~The dark one

Hi! First of all, welcome to YWS, and this is such a great way to start! Your talent is already beyond your years.

Your words wind together naturally, flowing from one topic to the next, and while I often like if there's a retained theme within the poem, you managed to jump from subject-to-subject quite well. You make some astounding points about society in a very casual and honest way. I would point out favorite lines, but god, I love them all.

There are places here and there where you might want to recheck your punctuation, but beyond that, I have no complaints. Keep writing, and best wishes. xxx

Hiya killyou! I'm not quite sure why this is in scripts, so you might wanna move it to poetry, but anyways, here to review your piece.

Firstly, I absolutely loved your ending! It was really cool and just rounded off everything reall well, so well done! I also thought the thread metaphor was really clever and was really suited to the rest of your poem.

You're the ugliness in the world

but also everything that's beautiful.

You're a giant idiosyncrasy,

tell me then, why are you so perfect?

I'm a broken pile of clichés,

sewn together with fabric

that used to be lovely.

I'm the little hand on the clock

always ticking toward the hour.

Never quite happy,

even after I've reached it.

I loved it! I don't know if you were trying to but i feel like that kinda perfectly described today's society. To me it basically told a story of a fake plastic world but the narrator of the poem is trying to break away from that and is asking someone, be it a friend or lover, to break away with her. There was only one thing in there that caught my eye "and say they accept diversity." perhaps its just me but i feel like it would read better if it said. "and say that they accept diversity." just throwing one word in there, otherwise I truly enjoyed reading your work. :]