Good Morning/Afternoon/Evening/Night(whichever one it is in your part of the world),
Hi! I'm here to leave a quick review!!
Anyway let's get right to it,
I am Kitty. That's not my real name of course, but my name is Kitty. I shall first introduce myself so you know me better. What am I saying?! I'm writing in this notebook like it's an actual living thing. I always knew I was going crazy.
Well, that's off to a wonderful start, looks like someone perhaps writing in a diary for the very first time there judging by how things are going...aand it seems like a pretty wholesome and innocent experience so far, with them just talking to the diary and then questioning their sanity for a bit, also the name Kitty being used as a pseudonym is pretty interesting too.
Whatever, let me say that I never thought I would be writing in here. My oh-so-wonderful mom thought that I needed a diary to write in. One day after a crazy school day she handed me this notebook that I'm writing in now. Just so you know, you are a brown leather bound notebook with 200 lined pieces of paper. There's also a little red ribbon bookmark attached to you so I know what page I left off. Now let me get back to the story on how I got you. I told my mom that I don't need one but she kept on insisting that it would help. "It would help you with your feelings. I know from experience." she said. I rolled my eyes, "I don't need help with them mom." My mom kept on telling me to use it and in the end, like always, she won and I had to write in a diary.
Alright, looks like we're going to be giving the diary a bit of a backstory here...that's certainly quite interesting, not something that you run into in diary entries too often, but surprisingly enough, it does actually make a lot of sense for someone to write something like this down as their first entry. You sense a little bit of argument having occurred there between this person and the mother but it looks like just a normal one that ended in peace after all, with the mother just trying to help out and the child accepting defeat. I don't sense any animosity there at any rate. Also a pretty cool little description of the diary there.
So now comes the introduction part where I tell you who I really am.
I am a cat fanatic. I love cats to death and always will. Everything I own has to have a cat on it, even my shoes. One time in fifth grade I wore cat gloves for a year. Yup, that's how crazy I am about cats. At school they call me The Cat Girl. I kind of like the name, it defines who I am. However, the worst thing out of all this is that I don't have a cat. I, The Cat Girl don't have a cat. I know it's crazy! I've begged my parents for years but they always said no. I had many fantasies about having a cat though. He (yes a he) would be named Sir Whiskers the Great and he would wear a red and yellow scarf everyday. Don't ask about the scarf, wait a minute how would you? Anyways....
I hear my mom calling me for dinner so I shall talk to you later!
Well, that was a really fun little introduction there...seems like a pretty wholesome child just writing about their experience with cats being something that they adore and have plastered on everything they on. We get a very nice sense of the personality of this person here...and the little secret scarf situation you mention adds such a lovely touch of extra humor into things. I love the feelings that are nicely on display here. It makes it easy for us to imagine the situation of the character quite nicely here.
Overall, a pretty solid piece you've got right here...sounds like something I'd probably read more of here. Great little first chapter you've got.
Aaaaand that's it for this one.
As always remember to take what you think was helpful and forget the rest.
Stay Safe
Harry
also another thing I love about this story is that it attracts young readers like myself. I feel like I could connect to this person because my mother told me the same thing but I don't obsess over cats! Anyway, this lets us know more about the way the text is written and less about what the text is actually about. To elaborate more, this first part of the story shows us that the rest of the story will be written like a diary entry but what will the entry be about? That's one thing you should work on. Mind me, I loved the descriptive way you wrote this (especially with describing the diary) but maybe people would like it more if you gave us more of a hint of what the next chapter is about. But I honestly think that this is an amazing head start! I hope you take my advice and I would love to see what this cat obsessed girl writes next 
Points: 258487
Reviews: 4122
Donate