Young Writers Society

First of all I would like to point out that desert is only spelled with one (S). What you're saying is: The Ant people of the Dessert. Makes e think of a picnic where the ants get into the cake. Normally, I probably wouldn't even have caught this if I wasn't such a geek, and can recite "Scooby Doo and the Cyber Chase" word for word. (Shag and Scoob made the exact same mistake in the opposite manner, spelling "dessert" with just one (S)".)
Sorry, but I am a geek and I did catch that.

There was a small grammar mistake in the third and fourth lines of the second paragraph. The first letter of a sentence should be capitalized, and there should probably be a comma after the word "Replied". Also, in the third paragraph I'm assuming that you meant 'they' and not 'the'.


It was a neat little story, and the plot was very good. There were just those few little things that I probably made to seem like big things by drawing out the explanation. I hope you write more things soon, I would love to read them.

Hi there, Welcome to YWS!

First of all, I think this has some potential. It was an interesting... Uh, what was it?
Moving on, it was quite short. If that was the intention then go ahead, but I think this could be extended into a short story. The story line was interesting, plenty happened. Here are some of the mistakes I found;

hunger. the girls (Capital T)

The Ant chief gladly

What's with the gladly? I understand it if you put yes, because it would imply that he was hungry.

replied"no thank you, we do not take from people we do not give to.'. (

Space between replied and " and at the end, I'm not sure what that is.

I hope this helps you, if you have any questions, PM me.

~CM