The Assassin

Hey Malla!

Shady here with a short review for your short poem!

I must say, I enjoyed this quite a bit. It brought a smile to my face. The brevity of it was charming. I like your every-other-line rhyme, it flowed nicely, and your pace was wonderful. Honestly, I don't have any complaints for this piece.

Keep writing!

~Shady

I really like this poem, though for some strange reason I feel like laughing at the end. I really liked the line "The blade does glint" but I cannot say why. Poetry isn't really my thing.

Cool! You should expand on this.

Oh, it's been a while since I've reviewed a poem, but I'll give it a shot. First off, I liked this. Brief and to the point. Now, I'll try to break it down by sentence since it is a short one.

"In the dark,
A torch is lit,"

Alright, I thought this was fine. The only thing here is that I would put a period at the end of lit, and I'm not sure if you need a comma after dark.

"A sword is drawn,
The blade does glint."

Alright, so the first line here I thought was fine. Gets the idea across, puts an image in, but the second line is where I had a little trouble. "The blade does glint." I personally thought that sounded a little forced, maybe if you could reword that line to make it not sound so rushed?

"A man in black,
Walks to the bed,"

Once again, I thought these lines were good, yet you don't need a comma after black, and I'd put a period after bed. I liked those lines, kept it mysterious, yet painted a good picture.

"And sends a blade,
Through the target's head."

Strong ending, paints a very good picture. But like before, I don't think you need a comma, like I've said.

I'm not a big poetry guy, so if I am wrong about the commas or what not, I sincerely apologize in advance. Welcome to YWS, and I hope you found this helpful at all, even though it was pretty brief.

Fruit