A Cat's Thoughts

by ehte92

I call her, but she never answers.

I have always wanted to tell her things,

that I locked in my heart,

but she never seems to listen.

Is she ignoring me?

Do I even exist, for her?

I sit here all day,

being enslaved by her alluring beauty.

Her golden eyes, those glittering marbles.

I can devote all of my nine lives just

to get a chance to worship them.

That glowing lush of hair trailing behind her

as she wanders past me. A holy fragrance drives

my senses crazy. It looked like silk

had cascaded down past her shoulders. I just

want to feel them once against my lonely fingers.

Your body, resembling a meander.

So many curves in glorious symmetry

I wish I could trace its imagery

slowly caressing as to never forget.

You're precious like a rose

Silk and smooth

Your body perfect in every way

Unique, simplistic

A reality

Beauty, sensuality, passion collide.

Thought the cat, about the fish he loved.

Comments

Points: 2047
Reviews: 72

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Sat Mar 23, 2013 1:32 am

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GrapeNerd says...

This is awesome! I really liked it! The ending was hilarious. You've made a work of art, this poem was poetic and funny at the same time! Keep writing! I love this so much!

Points: 811
Reviews: 15

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Fri Mar 22, 2013 9:43 pm

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halfmetal wrote a review...

This poem was great! The opening stanza really draws the reader in. The second and third stanza were just as fabulous in keeping the idea flowing evenly throughout the poem.

The only thing, I would have to comment on it the fact the poem switches from referring to the fish as 'her and 'you.' It might flow a bit better if it was one or the other. The fifth stanza was my favorite. I really like what you did with it.

The ending was rather entertaining. I had to read it again, after I knew it was a fish. Overall, I think the poem was outstanding. Good job!

Points: 11017
Reviews: 179

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Fri Mar 22, 2013 8:00 pm

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guineapiggirl wrote a review...

Hiya! Guineapiggirl's going to review this poem!
I really like it. I like it so much that I've liked it!
The end line made me chuckle.
One verse that I thought needed a taddy bit of work is this one:

"hat glowing lush of hair trailing behind her
as she wanders past me. A holy fragrance drives
my senses crazy. It looked like silk
had cascaded down past her shoulders. I just
want to feel them once against my lonely fingers."

I don't like the way you keep chopping in the middle of sentences and clauses to start new lines. It's confusing, it disrupts the rhythm, it doesn't work etc. I think this verse needs just a bit of work, making it more each clause on its own line like in the other verses
A verse that I particularly like is this one:

"I sit here all day,
being enslaved by her alluring beauty.
Her golden eyes, those glittering marbles.
I can devote all of my nine lives just
to get a chance to worship them."

I like the way that this verse has the nine lives thing and the odd clue about it being a fish. And you've got some lovely imagery.
I don't have anything else to say. Great poem, the only verse that needs looking at is that third one. I hope you manage to get back into writing now that you've written this one and if you post anything else, feel free to ask me for a review