Young Writers Society

this is incredible I love it I don't think I've ever read something as intriguing as this it made me think about what you mean a lot and it was really fun to read I think you did a great job with it and I'd love to read more of your work

I'm not too good at reviewing poetry, but here I am.

Okay, the first thing I noticed is that only the last few stanzas rhymed. Second thing, the whole deal about a clock having a secret burning inside of it is very cliche, because just because something is burning doesn't mean it makes a poem good. Its the same thing with the demons and the 'war inside me' too. Also, it might be my personal opinion but just skipping a space like you did here-

"I am slowly,
fading
away with time.
I resemble shattered glass:
having to be picked up and thrown away"

... is a cheap way to make things dramatic.

And now the good stuff.

Once I read the whole thing, I thought it was awesome. I got the whole clock being thrown away and 'being shattered in the wind'. This is a very deep poem and well put, and my interpretation would have this being about how wasteless people are and how uncompassionate towards the benefits we get and don't even think about. Of course I'm sure I'm over-reading into it, though.

Go red team~!

Whoa, the fact that this is about a clock as it goes through time, kinda like idk, a paradox? I never thought how a clock might feel doing its job, counting the time it has left to remain. I sure am lucky not to be a clock. This gives a unique look on how time his viewed from the counters of it, clocks themselves. It was also kinda morbid though.

Hello there, ScandalousPhoenix!

I'm here to review your poem (surprise surprise) and hopefully say something smart. So, let us begin.

First of all, I liked it - I love the subject of time and I love clocks, so it was right up my street when it comes to that matter. It had a rather nice flow, and it made me think a bit, so those are good points. I shall dissect it now c:

I am a clock; I am time.
I never stop; I always go.
Every second, I count.
Every minute, I take.
There is a war raging inside the heart.

I am no one.
One of billions on His Earth.

Who will notice me gone,
while I flirt with Marethyu,
and hope to be relinquished,
of the demons I face.

I am the ashes of the dead, billowing in the wind.
My pieces are gone, never to be put together again.
Pieces of mine are lost or broken.

Never to be seen again.

Constantly losing pieces as I struggle to grab more,
I am beckoned to my knees,
crying out in the pain it causes.

Hello Scandalouphoenix.

Here I am for a review I hope it helps.

(One of billions on His Earth.) Who is "His" in here.

Hmm this doesn't really make to much sense to me one of the problems is (I am beckoned to my knees) I am not sure what you mean.

What exactly is the point of this poem thingy.

Very strange.

Anyways keep writing and good luck.

hello i will be reviewing this piece today! so at the beginning this really was not all that bad and i was positive that it was about a clock. But in the end i did have my doubts about what is is really about and that should properly be explained a little more.