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Published March 18, 2013
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142,234 Literary Works • 677,062 Reviews
kayfortnight here with your review!
Nitpicks first, like always. Capitalize each line, egos not egoes, there's a space between boredom and the comma, I'm guessing importanr is supposed to be important and ro is to, fighr isn't a a word, no space or hyphen in heartfelt.
Now that the boring stuff is over, interesting poem. I've never heard of the war of Siachen, but then I'm not Indian, and I do know some wars take a higher toll on the soldiers from natural causes then the soldiers fighting. You build an emotional picture of a hopeless battle very well.
I think you need to cut down the bottom line to make it fit in with the rest of the stanza. How about 'how do you when the living conditions aren't normal?'
Otherwise, I think you do great with the rhythm of your poem.
Thank you. I'll remember all that and correct the spelling mistakes.
Thank you again.
I can relate to every line of this poem.
It's the same all over Kashmir. We too, are tired of all this. But the people in charge treat Kashmir as a 'line'. Forgetting that there are people living in there, and have their own aspirations.
I wish they could see the horrors of what they've done. They wouldn't be able to sleep for the rest of their life.
I have heard a lot about the living conditions in Kashmir. One article about problems of soldiers posted on the border inspired me to write this. I pray to God everything becomes better in the Valley. Thank you for sharing your thoughts.
Well...I am also from India and know the condition of Siachen...
Well, very touching poem...
Thoughtful... Now let find mistakes...
egoesit should be 'egos'Try capitalizing 'here'
Well, and yes, you are true, Siachen has more natural casualties than war casualties.
fighr is no word
That's all, please capitalize every line, I mean the first word
Thank you.... I'll remember that capitalization thing.