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The Beginning of the End

by therealme

I stand on a hilltop
made of past and future.
Looking left and right as I ponder...
It took many painful leaps
to get this far.
One step forward, 
two steps backwards.
But alas here i stand,
Like Janus would have.
Two options yet to only pick one.
I can run back down the road I came
and chase many memories
that cannot be changed.
Or to start anew once more.
Empty my pockets, learn from mistakes
And be at peace once again.
For a new year is the beginning of a new end.

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Points: 362
Reviews: 2

Sun Nov 03, 2013 5:28 am
khrisnacomia wrote a review...

The poem is so good. Every person change for the better. While reading this is remember a song from the High School Musical entitled start of something new. We must learn from our mistakes and also from our past experiences. This is a very good piece. You should write mpre poems like this. Thank you for inspiring me :). Job Well Done. :)

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1314 Reviews

Points: 23411
Reviews: 1314

Sun Mar 24, 2013 10:57 am
Hannah wrote a review...

Oh! Oh my gosh! I love a lot of this! I love the idea of this, haven't seen it before, and you've stumbled on some brilliant language to discuss this feeling.

For me, though, it starts with the mention of Janus. Everything before that, aside from the setting on the hilltop, is vague and uninspiring. We understand in the single line -- made of past and future -- that you have a choice, and we know that you're on a hilltop so it took a while to get there. We don't need anything from lines 3 through 8. Cut them! And the "two options yet to only pick one". This is not repetition. It's redundancy.

Now, I love and absolutely adore the idea that even though we know the two choices are past and future, we are so set in our thinking of time moving forward, that we really come to think this character has a choice to make about something else. So when he/she runs down the path of the past, we're surprised because it's almost as if that wasn't really a choice, so to see it taken is pleasant and surprising, especially when paired with the comfort of nostalgia.

I am also intrigued by the ending line. It seems darker and more doom-filled than the rest. But maybe it just means as you start, you wrap up. Maybe I'm taking it too "end" ful. ha.

Anyways, nice. PM me if you have any questions or comments about my review, please.
Good luck and keep writing!

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Points: 632
Reviews: 1

Sat Mar 09, 2013 1:37 pm
hudakp says...

Preety good :)

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32 Reviews

Points: 1990
Reviews: 32

Fri Mar 08, 2013 1:30 pm
NoirLumiere wrote a review...

Hey there! Noir here, and I'll be your reviewer today. Let's rock.

First off, concept. The concept of choices was very surprising to me, as I had never thought of it in this way before. It was enlightening, and delightful. I also enjoyed you reference to Janus, because I rarely hear anyone talk about him/her anymore.(I can't remember if it was masculine or feminine.) I also love the phrase "One step forward/Two steps backwards." It magnifies the struggle and I loved it to no end.

Second up, rhythm. The rhythm for this poem was great. It was fun to read, as I could imagine various different instruments playing in my head as I read it. The rhythm also kept me here to finish reading, and that is a feat.

Finally, grammar. I saw no grammar mistakes. Good on you!

Overall, this poem was fun to read, had great references, was a fantastic concept, and had no grammar mistakes.

This gets my hyena rating of 10/10!

This has been NoirLumiere, and that's your review. Good night, and keep rocking.

"The trouble with Borrowing another mind was, you always felt out of place when you got back to your own body, and Granny was the first person ever to read the mind of a building. Now she was feeling big and gritty and full of passages. 'Are you all right?' Granny nodded, and opened her windows. She extended her east and west wings and tried to concentrate on the tiny cup held in her pillars."
— Terry Pratchett, Discworld: Equal Rites